Hetalia Got pOWNed
by firezone783
Summary: Inspired by LolliDictator's Hetalia user guide and manuals Five college students decide that a unit from their favorite anime would make a great birthday gift to harass their friend...Too bad they all get dragged into it somehow! M for language, mature humor...We all know this won't end well when Prussia is involved
1. OC character info!

Hm, so these are my OCs for my Hetalia units story. These here, they're the only ones that I own in these fanfics aside from the plot ideas xP I used the google translator on the internet for the names and my friends-whom I based these characters off of-gave suggestions for the first and last names. The middle names are the qualities that define them translated into the language of one of the character's ethnicities. They all live in the U.S. in the 50th state, Hawaii and are all U.S. citizens before anyone-for whatever reason-brings up any immigrant jokes or whatever-.- Anyway! Now that you have a feel for my characters, I hope you all can enjoy the story~! Please feel free to review, the criticism is appreciated considering I haven't posted much and one can always improve!

Vilkas Silʹnyĭ Krev (Lithuanian for Wolf, Russian for strong, Czech for blood)

Gender: Male

Age: 21

Height: 6' 2"

Ethnicity: Russian

-Junior in college

-Heir to successful plane company (No one knows this aside from the company and his few remaining family members)

-Does computer programming in his spare time

Appearance: Chestnut brown hair that's usually messy, amber colored eyes, usually wears a half tucked collared shirt, black jeans, loose belt and navy blue shoes.

Personality: Vilkas often comes off as someone who rarely cares about anyone or does anything but that couldn't be farther from the truth. He rarely shows emotion but has a soft spot for his friends-though he's often fighting with Mal and easily frustrated with Mavi's clumsiness. If he's facing any sort of problem, he'll do his best to keep to himself and fix things on his own unless Caligo nags him to tell her what troubles him. Vilkas and Caligo go way back to their days in grade school and can be seen as the person in his group of friends who acts as a sort of father figure. Vilkas is often the one to tell people that, even in a bad situation, everything will be alright and they will be more inclined to believe him than anyone else.

YenKin Zhōngchéng Jung (Chinese for loyal, German for green)

Gender: Male

Age: 21

Height: 5' 7"

Ethnicity: Chinese-German

-Junior in college

-Aspiring manga artist, very fond of Korean music and dramas

-Occasionally sings Japanese anime and Vocaloid songs with Caligo

Appearance: Short, straight jet black hair, mocha colored eyes, always wears green headphones, white jacket with ink spatter print and kanji for courage on the front, music note keychain, jeans, and black converse.

Personality: In public, he doesn't speak up and because of his soft spoken personality, people will often miss many clever remarks he makes. Around his friends, however, he can be just as loud and rowdy as the rest of them. YenKin is one of Mal's best friends, despite his cynical remarks and teasing and would never dream of leaving any of his friends when they are in need of help. He often discusses the latest episodes of various Korean dramas with Mavi.

Mal Sincéres Iskra (Afrikaans for crazy, French for sincere, Croatian for sparkle)

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Height: 5' 7"

Ethnicity: A good number that he can't even be sure of...definitely part British and French...

-Junior in college

-Studying for political science degree

Appearance: Bright red hair (No, it isn't dyed) tied in a low pony tail, violet colored eyes, red and white letterman jacket, white polo shirt, black slacks, and black Nikes.

Personality: Mal can be very professional-if he wants to be. As one of the most ethnically diverse person in his group of friends, he tends to be nosey of how their families function based off of their cultural heritages and is always up for trying something new. Often, he acts like the loud-mouthed high school jock that he really is and most people think he's insane for it. His friends think it too, but just add it to the fact that he's just too good-natured for his own good. He'll trust people easily and can be quite forgiving, does his very best to refrain from swearing (though it does slip out from time to time), and can be extremely oblivious to others around him, but is no less of a caring friend than any of the others. He often acts like the psycho people peg him to be in order to make people smile sincerely and believe that there's still some good in the world, even if he sometimes has trouble believing that himself.

Mavi Amore Nudeln (Turkish for blue, Italian for love, German for pasta)

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Height: 5' 2"

Ethnicity: German, Italian

-Sophomore in college

-Aspiring school teacher

Appearance: Shoulder length blonde hair that she puts up in pigtails, emerald green eyes, white blouse, jeans, and white Asics

Personality: VERY clumsy, Mavi often gets hurt doing even simple things like walking down the driveway to get her mail in the afternoon and virtually incapable of hating anyone. People tend to trust her very easily because of her innocent and childish behavior, she can be a bit of a crybaby and is always happy to see her louder, more assertive friends when they come to her aid. She enjoys giving people hugs even if they detest it-_**ESPECIALLY**_ if they detest it-and can be a total airhead/loveable puppy. She frequently tries to hug her friends and is even more frequently turned down but she knows that they like her, just not when she's touching them. She tends to follow Lin and Mal around during school but it's often Caligo who will come to her aid.

Lin S̄tipạỵỵā Kollane (Thai for intellect, Estonian for yellow)

Gender: Female

Age: 23

Height: 5' 5"

Ethnicity: Taiwanese

-Frequently travels between her apartment in the U.S. and her home in Chiang Rai, Thailand to see her family

-College student in pharmacy program

-Connections to rather "sketchy" groups of people

-Formally trained in martial arts but prefers a street fighting style

Appearance: Long platinum blonde braid down to her waist with a thick jade ring on the end, midnight blue colored eyes, green sleeveless hoody, white t-shirt, jeans, chain with a pair of brass knuckles attached, and white converse.

Personality: An intelligent young woman, Lin rarely tolerates ridiculous or idiotic comments from people ESPECIALLY when she has something that she wants to say. That said, she's quite open with showing her irritation and is far from afraid when it comes to voicing her opinions, often shooting witty and harsh comments at said person. When she is dead serious about something, she doesn't speak unless absolutely necessary and wears an expression that's somewhere between intense anger and deep concentration. Lin is far less serious around her friends, being rather tolerant of Mal's lack of any sort of boundary with the exception of physical ones that are enforced by a fist or two and the random violent outbursts from Caligo which she finds quite humorous and often joins her. Lin's rather intimidating personality takes some getting used to for most people but she is just as loyal a friend as anyone would like to have.

Caligo Hogo-sha Valgus (Latin for darkness, Japanese for guardian, Estonian for light)

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Height: 5' 4"

Ethnicity: Japanese, Okinawan

-Junior in college, studying performing arts and literature

-Often mistaken for a boy

-Plays the violin, enjoys singing and music in general

-Knows some martial arts but prefers street fighting style and using knives or other arms

Appearance: Dark brown hair with noticeable red tinges (people think it's highlights but it's completely natural) tied in low pony tail, dark black eyes, normal spade ear rings, two ring piercings on her upper left ear, red spade and thorns tattoo on the back of her neck, black hoody with "fallen angel" scars on the back in silver, forest green tank top (under hoody), baggy tan knee length pants, random black and white loop on left side of her pants, and blue and white Nikes. In shadier parts of town, she carries a knife holstered to her right thigh in plain view to (hopefully)intimidate anyone thinking of getting near her or her friends.

Personality: Caligo definitely comes off as someone you don't want to get angry, seeing as she's short tempered and has a tendency to respond violently or with threatening remarks, although a good amount of people don't take her threats seriously in the least. As much as she tries to be polite and mind her own business, she inevitably fails in the end and gets into more trouble than most people who know her would like. Despite her shortcomings, she tends to act like everyone's big sister even if the person in question is older than her. She's quick to defend her friends at any turn, **HATES** to see the bad guy get away (think Alfred Jones, but without the superiority complex) but is no saint herself, and swears like a sailor-more constantly when she's angry. She can be rather distrusting of people but just as loyal a friend, swearing to take a bullet for them and can sometimes be too kind for her own good. Mavi, despite all her teasing, is like a younger sister to her, Lin like her twin sister, YenKin and Mal as brothers, but Vilkas has been the one she confides her darkest thoughts and secrets in most because of their long history and the amount of trouble they've gotten through growing up.


	2. Good Ideas?

Hetalia units intro chapter

Based off LolliDictator's hetalia user guides and manuals, I don't own anything remotely related to hetalia except for my OC characters!

Somewhere in the suburbs on a small island in the vast Pacific Ocean, five friends sit in a small apartment, huddled around a computer. "I still think this is a bad idea." "You _always_ think our ideas are bad!" "And there's usually a good reason behind it!" "Oh gee, thanks Lin." "Vilkas, get your bony elbows off my freaking keyboard." The owner of said keyboard scrolled down the page they were looking at with a scowl planted firmly to her face. "I mean really. How do we even know Mal's going to like these things?" "The point of a gag gift is that they don't like it but whatever it implies is true. Who cares if he likes it!" "Oooh! Cal! Go back! Go back! It's that one!" Mavi jumped around like the over excited child she was on the inside while the little Chibitalia bounced in her arms looking as if he were about to be sick. "Alright alright! Geeze..! Uh...ok. Gilbert Beilschmidt unit...uh..guys..? Are y'all SURE you wanna get Mal THIS unit..?" "So he gropes him, that's as bad as it gets right?," Vilkas shrugged. "Italy-chan ish hungry now chanchan," little chibitalia whispered, tugging on her shirt. "Just a sec chibitalia. Gotta make sure Cal orders Mal's gift."

"You're not my mother Mavi," she huffed, already typing in her credit card information. "Y'all owe me for this." They nodded silently, each with a wicked grin of their own sort and Caligo rubbing her aching head in anticipation of whatever hell they'd reap from Mal's party next week.

~1 week later~

"Happy Birthday Mal!" Below the large banner in the dining room sat the box that started it all, white paper with large pink polka dots all over it and massive amounts of duck tape bows ready for the boy, now 22 to tear off. "Dude, why is the box so huge.." "Don't be such a chicken Mal, go open your freaking present." Mal immediately tackled the box, a little more afraid of an impatient Caligo that whatever the hell might be in it and tore paper off wildly to reveal a rather large crate with a booklet on the cover. "Gilbert Beilschmidt Unit: user guide and manual," he read aloud. There was several minutes of dead silence before he turned to his friends with a smile that was an obvious mix of terror and confusion. "um..guys? What is this thing?" "God, Mal. Read the damn guide." "But-" His friend groaned and walked over to her things and began hauling out what looked like a sheet of reinforced steel with a small glass window on it before relenting to read the unpacking instructions.

"Kaliningrad...? What the foosh is Kaliningrad?" "no, don't-!" The lid on the box came flying off and thank god for the invention of riot shields because that would've hurt like nothing else if it hit them. The wooden cover shattered like glass against the shield but Gilbert managed to plow the group into the ground with it. "Fucking Mal!" More would've followed if it weren't for the fact that Gilbert picked up the couch and was about to beat them to a pulp with it. "Geezus! Someone reprogram the crazy bastard already, holy shit!" "Hey! Totally unawesome dumbass! Look what I got!" Gilbert turned with the couch still in hand to see Vilkas holding a now active Gilbird unit..and shaking it violently.

"Hey! Put Gilbird down!" "Drop the couch then," Vilkas grinned, now squishing the fluff ball like a dog's squeaky toy. Gilbert scowled before **dropping** the couch at the feet of where Caligo and Mal were laying on the floor leaving a good sized hole in the tiled floor. "Give Gilbird here, bastard!" Vilkas just grinned cockily-Gilbird now being used as a stress ball-as Gilbert stomped toward him with a deathly aura and glare. His hand just caught Vilkas's shirt collar when he yelled, "Yen!"

Like a ninja, Yen jumped up and reached for a small panel located on the back of his neck-according to the internet's schematics on Wikipedia apparently-and hitting the 'default settings' button. Vilkas pulled himself out of Gilbert's now slacked grip and tossed the small and greatly ruffled bird at him. "Now that you've chilled out a little-" "Get me some freakin beer then!" "Geeze..fucking pleasant after a couple rounds huh," Caligo muttered, tossing him a beer that they'd prepared to wake him SAFELY before hauling Mal to his feet. "That wasn't awesome girlie." Caligo could see the weird look he gave her before a crooked smile that didn't bode well graced his face. "Would you like to see how long five meters is?" "The metric system can bite me," she shot back and beginning to survey the damage to the house. "Glad it wasn't my place," she muttered before looking at the Gilbert unit who was in the process of groping a very terrified Mal as he tried to process exactly what Prussia was. Vilkas laughed when she shook her head and Chibitalia came in with a little push broom to help clean up the mess. "Yep. Bad idea. _**What**_** did I tell you guys!**"


	3. Better watch out, Ivan's coming to town?

Here's the second chapter all! Waaaaay longer than the first one but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Gilbert shows up now, hurray!

I own nothing Hetalia except for my OCs

It's been a week since various parts of the house had been smashed in and I, the awesome Gilbert, lay on the refurbished couch in a state of total unawesome boredom. Even Gilbird couldn't find anything fun to do and my prude of an "owner" as he likes to call himself managed to barricade his room from me. I managed to find the motivation to look at the clock..12:40. Who the hell sleeps until 1:00? Boring!

The table suddenly rattled violently and a loud, obnoxious-even to me-noise blared from a little rectangular device on the table. "Hm..should I? After all, it IS Mal's phone.." And what did any of that mean to the awesome me? Absolutely nothing!

_**'Hey guys, wanna come over? Need some help unpacking my new unit**_

_**-Vilkas'**_

It couldn't be any more boring to grace those weird humans with my awesome presence than it was just lying here, so why not? The only question was where this Vilkas guy lived...

_**'Sure thing. Be over in 10.**_

_**-Gangsta Lin'**_

_**'Fine. I guess you need some help in case yours gives us shit like Mal's.**_

_**-Cal-sama'**_

Gangsta? Sama? Obviously they thought they were awesome. All the more reason to show them true awesomeness!

_**'Ok, can you pick me up Cal?**_

_**-Mavi-channy'**_

_**'Check if Mal answered her phone too since you're there**_

_**-Vilkas'**_

_**'How do I get volunteered for all this? Fine. Be there in 5.**_

_**-Cal-sama'**_

"So that Mavi chick is near here huh? Problem solved!" there was a knock on the door just as I was about to lie down again and I grumbled. "Gilbird, you get it." "Pii!," he responded as usual. Of course, answering doors wasn't an awesome enough a job for Gilbird or myself but Mal sure wouldn't do it and if that was Mavi, she was my only way out of this boring dump. Unfortunately, the awesome me had no choice but to answer the door. Lucky for Mal's door that it WAS Mavi and not someone random like the post guy or whatever they had in America. "Oh, Gilbert. Have you seen Mal?" "Mal went to get groceries. So what's this I hear about your friend Vilkas?" "How-" I held up Mal's phone before she could finish and put on my most non-threatening smile just as the horn of a car cut through the air. I wrapped an arm around Mavi's waist before heading toward the car with the impatient girl waiting.

"Knock knock~!" "Bite me and get in." this chick knew how to take the fun out of everything. Her car was pretty shrimpy, but I guess it suited her. Mavi made a bee line for the shotgun seat with the tiny Italy in her arms which left the awesome me the entire back of the car! "Pleasant, aren't you flatty?" "Get your freakin feet off my seat!," Cal growled as she ground the pedal down with her foot. "The awesome me needs a lot of leg room seeing as how tall I-" the car jerked to a violent stop just before an intersection and I now knew why they had invented seat belts. Hello floor, nice to meet you. I'm the awesome Gilbert!

"Now put your damn seatbelt on!" "Fine, fine.." This chick was crazy. Genuinely crazy...She started muttering, a "freaking taxi" here, "running that dumb bastard over" there and the 20-minute nearly dead silent car ride went smoothly until we reached a rather nice looking house. "This Vilkas guy sure has a hell of a house.." "Just don't get into trouble," Caligo grunted before walking up to the door and rapping hard three times. "Hey, Val! Gonna open the door? I know you're there man."

"So," I said, casually gripping Mavi's shoulder. "What's this Vilkas guy got to show us?" "W-Well..it was supposed to be Mal b-but-" "The awesome me decided to save this boring gathering by gracing you all with my presence!" "Is he blowing steam again..?" Same mop of brown hair as last week. Does this guy always looks like he just rolled out of bed? "Like a tea pot boiling over." His eyes narrowed a little more when he noticed that Mal wasn't with me but eventually shrugged. 'Kesese, that's right, walk away before the awesomeness of the mighty Gilbert sears you!'  
>"Yo Gilbert, you gonna stand out there all day or what?" "Just can't wait huh? Kesesese!" "Hurry up or I'll throttle you," she barked before ushering Mavi and midget Italy inside. 'Where have I seen that look before?' I had to admit, this guy's house impressed even the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt. "Sorry Val, still no clue where Mal is but Prussia here says he went grocery shopping and forgot his phone." "That doesn't sound suspicious to you," some four-eyes chick asked, scowling at me. Caligo just shrugged at them. Vilkas waved her off and walked over to a box sitting in the living room. Two fair sized dogs-a husky and a German Sheppard. How ironic!-sat on either side, sniffing and pawing at the crate. He patted the lid gently, even smiling at me! "That's cool. It still works out. I wanted him to bring Gilbert anyway." Kesesese! These humans just can't get enough of the awesome me! "So what is it you desired the presence of the amazing, mind-blowing me for?" "You'll see in a bit, Gil," he gave a toothy grin.<p>

'He thinks he's my predator huh? Kesesese! He underestimates my awesomeness!' "Bring it on, Val." His grin got wider when he pulled out a small booklet and held it up for Mavi and Caligo to see-far away from my awesomeness-and both their eyes lit up. "Well alright, if you really want me to," Caligo said with a confused shrug. Mavi held midget Italy tighter as they retreated to the far end of the room with the dogs and ducked behind the sofa. "What's going o-" "BROTHER!" "Mein Gott woman! Are you TRYING to make me go deaf," I shouted back, clapping my palms over my ringing ears. The two mutts with them whimpered, Italy was starting to get in on it while Mavi,flatty, some other chick and Vilkas rubbed their ears and she just stood there with a dumbass look on her face. "I don't get it..Val, what's supposed to happen exactly?" "Well," he started. "For one, he should've started whimpering or something.." "Are you gonna open it..?" "No chance. Not until we exhaust all other options." He came out from behind the sofa and walked toward the coffee table beside the crate, completely stumped. "Did you just need help opening this lame box? I can do that easy with my awesome strength!" "No, idiot." He tore open a bag of shelled sunflower seeds and poured some into his mouth, eyeing the box for a long time. "It's not that simple. You might be able to take the brunt of whatever happens but-" "blah blah blah. You humans make easy things WAY too hard! Lucky for you, I can take care of this!"

I raised my foot and smashed it into the side of the box, knocking the cover clean off-which was probably not as awesome a move as I thought..my freaking toes..!-and a little platinum blonde thing jumped out. "Podsolnechnik~!" "What in the blue blazes is that?" That face..only one person has those eyes but..since when was he so..."Small...No way in HELL this is Russia!" Nevertheless, he started whining when he saw the bag of sunflower seeds Vilkas had and jumped up trying to reach it. I snatched the tiny Ivan up by the scarf and examined him. "This little shrimp is supposed to be Russia? The creepy ass Ivan Braginski?" "Well he DOES make that kolkolkol sound," Vilkas murmured, feeding him one sunflower kernel at a time. "Baka, don't hold him like that!" "Someone as awesome as I can do whatever they want!" "Like abusing little kids!" "No one asked you four-eyes!"

...

"Podsolnechnik?," he repeated with little 'grabby hands'. "What did you just call me?" "You heard me, four-eyes! Or can you not comprehend the awesom-" "URUSAI!" Her foot flew into my gut-a cheap shot only someone less awesome than I would do of course-and snatched up Ivan. So four-eyes had a little fight in her. "C'mon Lin. You're gonna put a hole in my floor.." "God! Why is Mal's unit such an ass!" "Gilbert..ass?" "Aw crap..." "Kesesese! What a great impression you make on children!" She handed him off to Vilkas who stared at the grinning midget. "YA tvoi otets." "Otets!," he shouted happily at the boy. "seeing as I'm now a father...we should have a baby shower." "Kesesese, I can give him a shower.." A solid fist (or two. I started  
>to lose count after a while) hit the back of my head and Caligo and Lin glared at me. "Keep your pedo hands to yourself!" "You'd probably drown little Ivan too." "Oh come on! I'd be an awesome babysitter! Right midget Italy?" He, she, it (whatever really) turned away with a horrified look and I scowled. How dare he leave the awesome Prussia to hang out and dry!<p>

"I'm gonna do something else." "We need food Vilkas." "Hey! Don't ignore the awesome me!"


	4. Drinking games with Prussia, Part 1!

Chapter 3! My favorite character comes in here, but more on him later~ Just so you guys know, these chapters are popping up super fast cuz I wrote them all earlier, so don't expect this all the time -3-'''

DISCLAIMER ON HETALIA ONCE AGAIN! T_T

The awesome Gilbert here again, stuck at this UNawesome house with these complete-opposite-of-awesome humans and a midget Ivan. They've been poking him with sunflowers for the last half hour for crying out loud! There had to be something wrong here. When I woke up, they called me the unspeakable word. When he wakes up, they feed him! Ivan got flowers, I got to clean up the house! Why did he get flowers? It doesn't matter.(it would've been nice though) I'm too awesome for them anyway!

Little Ivan ran up to me with a large flower that's taller than him for a change and held it up to me. "What do you want squirt?" "Podsolnechnik?" "Flowers suck. Beat it." "B-but...Podsolnechnik..!" Clingy midget started tearing up and pulling on my pants leg. Now that I looked at him, he'd make an awesome foot rest. "Uaaah! Otets..!" "Kesesese.." "GILBERT!" Loud! That chick is unawesomely LOUD! But, it was more unfortunate for midget Ivan who was now half way across the room with his head stuck in a pot and staggering around-

**BANG!**

Kesesese! The twerp was in for it now. "Prussia!" "What? It wasn't me! Ivan did it!" "Yeah, but who punted him across the room," Lin ground out, pulling the pot off Ivan's head. Not awesome. "You owe me for that vase," Vilkas muttered before producing a dustpan and broom to clean up the mess. "Ivan is sowwy.." "it's not your fault Ivan. I can get another one." Kids get all the breaks, slight pun intended, kesesese. "Just for that I should tell Mal you can't come drinking with us tonight." "You guys drink? Kesesese, that would be a drag anyway." How dare they keep me from my precious beer! "No, he's gonna come." "Eh? Am I hearing you right Val?" "Might as well make him useful. He can start paying for the vase by playing a few games." "Name a game and I'll beat it then! But only because I want to!" Hey, any excuse for some free beer, right? Lin and Caligo looked at him incredulously for a minute before either shaking their head or shrugging. Kesesese! The beer shall be mine! "Someone's gonna be pissed if they find out he's not human." "Then they just won't find out." "And if a bar fight breaks out we'll just beat them up?" "Exactly!" She practically slapped herself in the face and I laughed. Humans were pretty unawesome and lame but it sounded like these ones knew how to have a good time every now and again! "Yeah..you guys have fun with that." "What's the matter Mavi? Scared you'll get hurt?" "Of course!" "Well it's not a possibility if you belong to the awesome Prussia! Kesesese!" "Oh hell no!" "Then can you babysit Ivan for me?" Midget Italy was already being dragged around the house by Ivan for some reason, Mavi shrugging her consent and proceeded to watch them poke each other with sunflowers.

"Well don't just stand there. Let's find Mal and drag his ass out with us." "What do we need him for?" "If Gilbert decides to get his stupid ass into trouble then I ain't gonna be the one to drive down and get him." "you think the awesome Gilbert needs to be supervised?" "I think you need to be on a leash but you're Mal's responsibility. Not ours." "Especially since you're the designated driver." "WHAT? Lin! Help me out here!" "Sorry Cal, I'm not getting arrested for his sake anytime soon." "OH COME ON!" Kesesese!"

10:30 at the bars and Gilbert's still chugging brews like a dying man in the desert. I had to admit, whoever made these guys knew how to build them for excessive drinking. Then again, countries weren't human and therefore alcohol wouldn't affect them as much as it would, oh perhaps-"Duuude! Doncha wanna beer maaan?" "Get off me Mal!" As cold as it might've seemed, I shoved the drunken idiot off of me onto the floor and cracked open another soda. Only 2 beers and he was on the fast track to making a total ass of himself. "What was the reason we had Mal come along again?" Vilkas burst out laughing as the guy on the other end of the ping pong table somehow managed to nail himself in the face with the ball and hit the floor ass first. "Relax Cally girl! Mal's having a good old time there," he snickered, an alcohol induced blush spread across his face. I was tempted to remind him that he would normally be the first one to smack him upside the head for making drunken moves but he was enjoying the game.

I lost count of the rounds at some point and being the only sober one at the moment, found it highly suspicious when the hype of the game had gone down. 11:52 and the bar was still pretty crowded..So what was bothering me? Mal was passed out on the table, Vilkas was drinking himself into another bout of laughter, Gilbert...

SHIT! GILBERT!

Obviously the others weren't about to go after him, much less help me as I literally spun around in circles looking for the drunken idiot. Who knew how much liquor he could take but surely he must be drunk as hell by now! A familiar mop of platinum blonde hair bobbed out the door of the bar and I went after it. Even if there was the slightest chance I was wrong, it was better to know he didn't leave the bar yet.

The unmistakable blue of an SS uniform rounded a corner outside the parking lot in a hurry. Bastard must be sober because I swear he knew I was following him! "Gilbert! Get back here or so help me god, when I catch you.." Great. Of course he runs down an alley. A metal trash can rolled noisily out of the alley's entrance and shadows danced like those weird ass Scotsmen doing the drunken Macarena back in the bar to the scuffle of boots. He sure knows how to pick a spot to get mugged..I busted out my multi tool (yeah that's right. I BUSTED it out. Don't worry about HOW right now!) and pulled out a blade just shy of 3 inches but sharp as a razor, just in case I had a little unexpected surprise.

"Was machst du? Release me at once Gilbert!" 'aw shit, this isn't good...' What's worse yet was that it was an undeniable male voice, spoke in GERMAN for pity's sake and knew Gilbert by name! I had the distinct feeling that next time I retrieved him from anywhere, it would be a prison or at least a police station.."Hey, Gilbert! Get your ass back here now!" "Nein! You should be happy to shee me, piano freak," he purred. Ugh..! Creeper chills..More stomping and shuffling followed and I ran into the alley to find him on the ground, practically wrestling with a man just as strangely dressed as he was.

I couldn't keep from rolling my eyes as I put my blade away and yanked the-clearly-drunken dumbass off the poor man before giving said ass a swift kick. "Go back to the car or I take Gilbird away from you for a week!" "I'm..too aweshome to take a..orders from chicksh like you..!" "NOW!" he muttered something about "loud, flat chicks" but he'd get an ear full from me when he was hung over later. 'Now to see if I can explain our way out of this one,' I thought grimly as I offered my hand to the shaken man. "Sorry about that...he's one of my friend's buddies. He didn't hurt you, did he?" "'Hurt' isn't the word..mentally scarred perhaps," he grunted as I helped him up. I threw his arm over my shoulder and my free arm around his waist to help prop him up.

No matter how proud he was, I could see enough to know that Gilbert's assault on him did some kind of damage to him. His voice kind of reminded me of the Terminator dude, just not as heavily accented and thinner. He was starting to sway and his body turned to dead weight just as we made it to the car. I couldn't help but think that something was kind of familiar about this guy...


	5. Google Translate!

Chapter 4! Austria's now on the scene, but only for a little while! And yes, it starts off with his P.O.V. Thanks to Vilkas for all the translations, hence, the title of this chapter -o-

DISCLAIMER ON HETALIA

It must have been morning when I woke, light was creeping into the room and I forced my eyes open. I could never get myself to go back to sleep once I noticed the sun was up..I propped myself up in the small bed and rubbed my head to ease the faint headache I had for whatever reason. Funny, I couldn't remember what had happened the previous night but I knew this place was not one I'd seen before. A small beige nightstand with a lamp sat on the left side of the bed where my glasses lay neatly folded atop a small white sheet. I figured it was safe to read it, what with my name scrawled across the front in large, sloppy handwriting.

_"Good morning sleepy head! Man, you sure do sleep like a rock! Sorry I couldn't be here to greet you properly-in a sense-this morning but I had a lab to do. If you're reading this then I'm most likely not back yet but I will be around 10:30. Make yourself at home until then, shower's through the door in this room on the left with a clean towel for you, the other goes to the living room/kitchen. If you're dizzy, stay in bed!_

_-Cal"_

Cal-whoever he was-had an interesting way of doing things. Letting a stranger into his home under unknown circumstances and treating them as such, not that I didn't appreciate it. I still had to wonder though (aside from the events of last night) was he very naive or simply just very kind?

Something sounding like a metal chain rattled violently from outside the room and I looked at the clock. 9:27. Cal isn't supposed to come back yet..Against my better judgment to avoid an altercation of any kind, I slowly crept out of the bed and grabbed the nearest lethal looking object (some kind of awkward looking lamp...is this supposed to be a cat or something?). "Damnit..of all the times it's not working, why now..?" "Wer bist du!" "Holy hell!" The small figure jumped and did a total 180 before looking at me and...laughing? The child's voice was rather high pitched though..Cal had a son perhaps? "Warum lachst du," I demanded sharply but he simply sauntered over, twisted the object from my hand-his hands were small but had the kind of strength you wouldn't want to see in a child-and smiled. "Well it's good to see you're awake but by the looks of it you didn't hit the showers yet?"

"Wer bist du," I asked again and he looked confused as ever but smiled nonetheless. "Sorry, I only know English." "Who are you?" "Oh! I'm Caligo. Cal's my nickname. Again, sorry about last night.." "Last night..?" I suddenly felt ill at the mention of it.."Yeah, I was afraid Gilbert hit you pretty hard.." Of course Gilbert would be involved with something horrible happening. I suppose I wasn't very conscious of my expression and Cal looked at me almost in  
>alarm. "you don't remember or something?" "No, actually.." "Geeze Roderich..," he sighed, running a hand through his hair-which was rather long for a boy, but young Feliciano had fooled me before-and gave me a rather hesitant look. "Well, let me make something to eat first." "I want to know what happened last night." "I'll tell you all about it but let me get some food in me first."<p>

He unzipped the baggy hoody and tossed it on the couch before grabbing a frilly white apron to cover the tight tank top..."Y-You're a girl!" "Hm? Oh, I guess I am," SHE replied, sticking her tongue out in a sarcastic manner. "But..you're so..." "Say small and I'll crack you like an egg," punctuating the statement by punching the egg in her hand and shattering the shell. "Th-that wasn't...you just..never mind.." She gestured to an open seat at the small table and I sat down, utterly defeated by shock. "It's all I got so don't get picky about it," she said with a kind yet stern tone of voice as she set a plate of pasta and bratwurst with a cup of coffee that actually smelled quite lovely. It felt like it had been hours that she talked when in fact it was only about 20 minutes with an occasional rant here and there about serving Gilbert his nuts on a plate or something..

Thankfully it wasn't terribly obscene. "I wonder how it is that I can't remember any of this.." "Serves me..I'll ask Vilkas next time we see him." "Vilkas..?" "Friend of mine. He's good with computers." She tore into the sandwich with a vicious bite and leaned back in her seat like, well..a man. "Mind your posture." "eh? What for?" "Your form is improper for a young lady," I scolded, hoisting her up. Obviously her first reaction to being touched is to kick. HARD. What in the lord's name does this girl do to give her such a hard kick? "Gh..that...isn't very ladylike either..." "Ack! I'm sorry.." "P-please tell me there's something else to do other than beat me up..?" "Um..well..I was gonna pick Ivan up from Mavi's house and check on the others."

"Gilbert...Oi Gilbert." The idiot groaned when she nudged him with her foot and she rolled her eyes, examining the living room. It was actually rather clean-save for the 3 shit faced bodies scattered across it. "It looks like a damn crime scene in here, seriously..!" "And I'm guessing you have a solution to this hung over dilemma?" "you bet." she walked over to a stereo and pulled out a small rectangular device, plugging it into a stand. The volume dial went up and her ear plugs went in before turning to Ivan and I. "cover your ears real tight you two." "Like this?," he laughed and I held my palms over my ears as well. I wonder what-

"DEAR LORD MAKE IT STOP!" "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?" If I could still hear Gilbert over all of this, I had a feeling I didn't want to know what the strange "nyanyanyan" in the background was..."For the love of all things holy, WHY would you play that?" "Now that you're AWAKE, I'll make you breakfast. Mal, you were supposed to watch Gilbert but managed to get drunk off 2 beers and he attacked Roderich!" "Oh god...not so loud Cal..," the boy groaned, clutching his head.

"Otets not wakey," little Ivan asked, shaking Vilkas as best he could with his tiny hands. "He's just very tired, nothing to worry about." I ruffled his hair and he looked blankly at him before climbing on his chest to sleep as well. The child was horribly impressionable.."Ivan, help me cook breakfast honey." "But otets.." "We can make something for him too, ok?" "Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!" The child ran into the kitchen after her and I followed before Gilbert could wake up fully and start to complain again.

"That awesome smell better be pancakes..!" "the only thing he listens to is his stomach and his own mouth.." Gilbert stumbled in just as Ivan was pouring a second helping of pancake batter into the pan and slumped onto the table, a lazy-maybe still half drunk-smile on his  
>face. "Oi, piano freak. Cooking is work too feminine even for you-" He suddenly hit the floor with a nice sizzling grill-shaped mark on his cheek and a pair of feet to go with it as Caligo began stomping him into the floor screaming something about "making him a damn sandwich"..I don't think Ivan's handing her other objects to beat him with was helping the hung over idiot either. 'might as well help him before Ivan gets to the-'<p>

CRASH!

"GILBERT!" "For the love of-SHEIST! It wasn't me damnit!" Dishes.."Alright, I believe that's enough of that..!" You'd be amazed how hard it is to haul an enraged girl off of a cowering Gilbert. She was getting pancake batter all over my coat and hair! "Roderich! Put me down this instant!" "Control yourself young lady..!" "Kesesese! Listen to your daddy now lit-GOD! WHY?" I should just let her beat him up. Maybe knocking out a few of his teeth would teach him some manners?

"Just put her down..he wants to keep running his mouth, let her do her thing.." There was something familiar about the groggy, yet authorative voice coming from the boy known as Vilkas that caused Gilbert and Ivan to stop what they were doing and me to drop the frustrated girl. She had that 'nagging wife' pose standing in front of the hung over boy but either he didn't notice the venomous aura radiating from her or ignored it before throwing an arm over her shoulder to support himself. "So...about that baby shower.." "what about it..?" "I was thinking..tonight.."

An awkward pause before her eyes widened and she flushed with rage. "No. Oh HELL no! I don't want a repeat of last night especially with Mal-" "We'll have Lin come along..we'll be ready for whatever goes down plus we've got Gilbert..and apparently one Roderich Edelstein." "I don't drink.." "Don't gotta..just hang around.." Caligo glanced at me for a moment before punching her friend in the arm and turning to him. "I'll drive if he doesn't go. I got work in the morning anyway." "eh..sure. Whatever." "aw, how cute. Cally's got a soft spot for piano fr-" "URUSAI!" Ivan laughed giddily as she nailed him with a pot. What kind of psychos am I keeping the company of?

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><p>Translations:<p>

Wer bist du- Who are you

Otets- Father

Warum lachst du- "Why are you laughing" or "Why do you laugh"


	6. Drinking games with Prussia, Part 2

Chapter 5! Geeze, it's always Prussia's fault, huh? xD Don't worry, the Prussia harassing will let up soon xp Starting from Gilbert's P.O.V. again! How am I doing so far?

DISCLAIMER ON HETALIA

"Remind me why I'm here again..?" "Do you need any other reason than the awesome me? Honestly! You humans are so ungrateful!" "You should be grateful to my fist," the long haired chick hissed. "Oh? Why's that?" "Cuz it hasn't punched you in the face yet." She shoved a gloved fist concealing a set of brass knuckles in my face just under my nose and glared. "Geeze, no wonder they brought you along." "Just remember to keep your trap shut about being Prussia, ok? I prefer not to get into a bar fight the night before a 7:30 AM shift." "you humans worry too much. The awesome me will drink them so far under the table they'll think South is orange!" "That doesn't even make sense Gilbert.." These humans had such poor taste in humor. Totally lame.

Twenty minutes later we were in the bar and knocking back brews against some big and burly looking dudes. How exactly would 2 tiny chicks back us up if things got uglier than these guys? The awesome Prussia's gonna have to pick up the slack I guess. "That's 9 beers already man. Ain't you drunk yet?" "Not even tipsy!" "Alright, pay up," Vilkas demanded with an outstretched hand. I didn't doubt that they thought of giving him something other than money but were too  
>drunk to pull a knife out.<p>

"What? Did we clean you guys out already? Kesesese!" "Shut it before they decide to turn around and beat the shit out of us." "That's cuz you Americans are sore losers." Half the people present in the bar must've taken some sort of offense to that because our table was suddenly full of people trying to out-drink me. Too bad they didn't know who I was or else they'd just give us their money and leave!

About two hours into the chain drinking contest-according to the amount of nagging that was being done by those humans-I was busy giving alcohol poisoning to a Scotsman and the stubborn bastard was almost out of cash. "Shuuld just give up already." "Bull! I'll be drinkin' ye sho far under the table.." "Guess who'sh outta cash and it ain't me." "aye..if you'll bear with me..I'll wager this here..housh wife lookin' robot," he slurred. One of his drunken mates shoved a meek looking Japanese man up to the front of the crowd. Kiku. "You're on." Vilkas threw down all our winnings from that night, setting a stone cold glare at the Scotsman.

I turned back to the other two in hopes of talking him out of this-not that I couldn't form coherent words myself, I was just too awesome for this sort of..whatever the hell this fell under-but they had equally intense looks at the riled up crowd on the other side of the table. Japan straightened his uniform, irritation in his eyes but a steeled expression. West would probably kill me if I left him hanging..

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into buddy..where the hell's my drink!" Lin slammed the mugs down between us and in only four mugs, his ugly mug was face down on the table. "Hellz yea! Get over here Kiku!" "Arigatou Prussia-San.." "Woaw woaw woaw...hold up a sec!" "You lost. Get over it." "I'm..thinkin," a balding Irish man growled. "Ye went and rigged this." The rest of the bar murmured in agreement, quickly getting louder and Lin and Caligo stood funny in front of us. "hey. This might be a bad time to ashk but..can we have the car keys..?" "You're not driving Gilbert," Caligo muttered before raising her fists. Lin cracked her knuckles and neck as the first of the drunken mob stumbled toward them. "Normally I'd say 'we should talk this out'!" "Since when? You threw a chair last time I came with you!" "That was four months ago and the dude needed to learn what the word "NO" meant!" "Argue about it later! Gilbert! Get in the damn car!"

"Yes sir!" I mock saluted him before dragging Kiku out to the parking lot. "Sheist! Why won't this frikin key work..!" "May I make a suggestion?" "Whatever gets us outta here." He took the key ring from me, held up a black and bronze key with a weird looking T symbol on it and pressed a button on the back. The locks popped open and that smug bastard walked over to the left rear door before getting in. "Of course..freakin Toyotas are Japanese..!"

"Didn't the girl say do not drive?" "Well sometimes situations like this call for some rule breaking. Now should I reverse or just ram this car?" "Just reverse!" Not as much fun but the car probably couldn't take the awesome stunts anyway. I drove it around to the front of the bar just as they came stumbling out and Cal shoved me into the back seat. "Drive! Crazy bastard's got a tire iron!" "Alright! Alright!" She practically kicked the car into gear and tore out of the parking lot as if the drunken idiots could follow us. "Slow the hell down...! I'm gonna be freakin...oh lord.." "Gilbert, I will beat you senseless if you puke in my car!"

**"SQUIRREL!"**

Hello again floor. Looking especially lovely tonight, did you just get vacuumed?

"What the hell Val?" "I wanted you to stop clocking 80 on the street!" "A SIMPLE 'hey, Cal. Could you slow down a bit?' WOULD'VE SUFFICED!" "Whatever. Just get us back to my house so we can crash." "Oh. I'll let you guys crash alright.." "Yo Japan..you're cutting off the circulation to my arm.." "I can't help it if I'm suddenly afraid for my life..!" "Oh, I don't usually drive like this. Don't worry," Cal smiled from the driver's seat. Kiku still didn't look any better at 35 mph than he did at 80 but I couldn't blame him.. "Prussia-San...you keep very strange company.." "Kesesese! Someone needs to teach these humans to lighten up a bit!" "Shut up Gilbert." "Don't worry Kiku. We're not so bad! I know who you'd get along with just wonderfully." "Don't trust 'em," I whispered as they started arguing which was the fastest way to Vilkas' house. "They look real nice now but they're a bunch of whack jobs.."

"GILBERT!"

"Damnit!"

* * *

><p>Translation:<p>

Sheist- Shit (the German word wouldn't paste so I hope this is correct _)


	7. Where's YenKin!

Special thanks to Vilkas and Ingrit for helping me write this! Starts off with Roderich again~! There wasn't a manual or anything to go with this character so I made stuff up. Enjoy~

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><p>It must have been morning when I woke, light was creeping into the room and I forced my eyes open. I could never get myself to go back to sleep once I noticed the sun was up..I propped myself up in the small bed and examined the sparsely furnished room. Funny, I couldn't remember what had happened the previous night but I had the slightest feeling I'd been here before...<p>

A small beige nightstand with a lamp sat on the left side of the bed where my glasses lay neatly folded atop a small white sheet. I figured it was safe to read it, what with my name scrawled across the front in large, sloppy handwriting.

_"Good morning! Sorry I couldn't be around to greet you again this morning but I had work. I took Kiku with me to meet a friend of mine who he'll be staying with so it's just us again.._  
><em>I'm sorry! But we'll see him often enough. Come by the cafe and I'll get you something for breakfast!<em>

_-Caligo_

_P.S. I'll sign my full name so you'll remember I'm a girl xP"_

Whoever Caligo was-I'm quite sure that's the name of a color or something of the like-they must be either very kind or very naive, not that I didn't appreciate the hospitality. When had Japan been here though? Caligo probably had the answers I needed. "No use sitting around here then. I might as well find this cafe...damn. How am I going to find someone that I won't be able to identify!

-Kiku's P.O.V.-

"Here you go Kiku. Some nice hot soup." "How did you manage to get miso soup in a French cafe?" She smiled, winked, and turned on her heel before carrying her serving tray off to another table. 'I wonder if she put something in my soup..' It wasn't as if she could do anything terribly horrible to me, but it didn't mean that it couldn't hurt me.

"But what reason would she have to harm me..?" "It's simple. She doesn't have a reason." "Austria-San?" "the Tramonto Cafe..odd seeing a French restaurant in a place like this, don't you think?" "Just a little...although it still bothers me a little how she managed to find Japanese food here." "She's quite hospitable apparently..would you mind if I joined you?" "Please do," I offered the chair across from me. He sat, elegantly poised and a cup of coffee was set before him almost immediately.

"I was starting to wonder if you'd ever show up. I'll bring you something to eat." "It's quite alright Caligo.." "Nonsense!" She smiled at him, though lacking the fake charm the other waitresses seemed to possess. He frowned but I suppose she ignored it, turning on her heel yet again (I started to wonder if the soles of her shoes ever got worn down from it) and strutted off to the counter. It was actually a little refreshing to have such hospitality.

"I do hope you intend to do something other than stare at your food," he stated, sipping his coffee. I was rather hungry, but still wary of the food she provided me with, though I had no idea what for. What could it do to eat something? Steam rose from the bowl as I stirred the liquid and brought the first spoonful to my mouth. "If I die, please notify my next of kin." "You CAN'T be serious Japan..." "I am quite serious." "Well you look alive and well to me so I don't see the problem."

~20 minutes later~

"Whew! Sorry that took so long! Here you go Roderich. It took some convincing but I got Benny to make you apple strudel." "Do you have any actual French people working here?" She looked at him with a confused look one might see on a child...almost fitting for her if I didn't know the Caligo from the night before.. "Um..well, the manager is half French I think. Why?" "Just curious," he murmured. "Ah, thank you for the soup. It tastes very nice." "I'm glad you liked it! And I think we'll have to swing by Yen's place today after my shift..."

Getting into a car with her was the last thing I had thought of ever since we got here after she managed to do 50 on the main road without getting caught. That did NOT sound like a fun idea. Another table called for her attention and the second she skipped off to serve them, I looked back at the composed Austrian across from me. "How can you stay so calm around that girl? Especially when she mentions the car...!" "What're you talking about? What's so frightening about her driving?" That's right...The lucky b****** was practically out cold the night she'd brought him home. Of course he wouldn't know what her driving was like.

"She certainly is a hospitable one though...I never really expected that from an American." There was a slight shrug and a hunch in his normally rigid posture that indicated I no longer held his attention. As if the intense look wasn't enough to figure it, a rather obnoxious sound assaulted our ears from the table behind us. "Where's my food lil miss? We've been here for about 20 minutes now!" "I'm sorry sir, your server seems to have forgotten but I'll get right on it." "Y'all better. Slow Frenchies..." "What atrocious accent is that..?" "I believe England-San refers to it as America-san's "git 'er done" voice or something like that..." He only became more irritated as the man continued to talk when Caligo returned with his meal. "A simple club sandwich. Was that so hard?" "I'm not sure but French cafe's don't normally serve American food sir." "But I'm the customer and ain't I always right?" She was taking the abuse rather well for someone who couldn't seem to hold her tongue the night before but it didn't seem like she had much of a choice in her profession..

"I-Is there something wrong Austria-San?" "Quite." He stood abruptly, adjusting his collar and strode over to the man's table where Caligo was currently getting an ear full from the man. While I would usually gladly help a friend, something told me I might end up being on the receiving end of whatever he had in store for the disrespectful man...I would still keep watch though. Surely it couldn't hurt to have an extra set of eyes for any situation.

"What's gone and dragged your fancy britches over here partner?" "I believe you owe the young lady an apology for your abhorrent behavior." The man gave him a snarky grin and leaned back in his seat, looking at the two. Caligo was at her breaking point and Austria-San appeared to be doing no better in terms of keeping his temper in check. "The li'l lady belong to you? Cuz I don't see any sign or nothin' on her. If she is then you might wanna find another-"

The arrogant man had his eyes rolling in his head before he hit the floor with no sign of getting up. The room went quiet and all eyes were on the Austrian flexing his gloved hands with a very dangerous look on his face. "Oh my god, Roderich! What did you just do!" "I gave him a reason to learn some manners, obviously." Caligo hit herself in the face with the tray and then him with an irritated groan to which he responded by giving her a very...Prussia-like grin and taking it from her. "Let's go." "What? No! My shift's not over!" "It wasn't a suggestion." He attempted to take her hand a few times and she was about to throw a punch when he simply scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"What the-Kiku! Help!" "I..think I will just follow along.." "Damnit! Roderich you bastard! When I get down I'm gonna kick your ass!" "Austria-san's mind seems to be made up. I don't think there is much of a chance that your threats will change it..." She scowled at me-NOW I had a reason to be paranoid of the food she gives me-and Austria smiled even more. There was something familiar about that look he had..."Look at it this way. We can go and find your friend now." "Yeah yeah..you're lucky Kiku's here or I'd knock the crap out of you..." "You would do no such thing." 'Whatever deity might be listening, PLEASE don't let him piss her off while she's driving!' Even with all their sudden bickering, she drove rather calmly over the course of the 30 minute drive into town. She stopped in front of a tall apartment complex and put about 15 quarters in the meter by it before instructing us to follow her.

It appeared to be a middle class establishment, though it still gave the impression that there was still a decent chance you'd be mugged at some point between the street corner and getting to your door, but still a rather comfortable environment. "Where exactly does your friend live?" "8th floor. Apartment 316." "Wouldn't my presence be imposing on-" "Nah! He's been kinda lonely lately and the apartment manager's like "you can't have pets!" but the dude's got like 3 cats and-" "You're rambling." "Whatever. Point is, you'd be a great friend for him to have around! Well, you'd get along at least, I'd bet a number of things on that." She rapped on the door with her knuckles three times, tapping her foot as we waited...

"Is he not home?" "If he's not at work like he SHOULD be then he'd better be here..." More time passed awkwardly in the hallway until Caligo knelt by the dead bolt, pulled out a hair pin and began fiddling with the lock. "I didn't know you could pick locks..." Definately something I'd feel better NOT knowing..."I'm not great at it but..SCREW THIS!" With little warning or hesitation, her foot suddenly connected with the door and effectively knocked it off its hinges. (Mental note: when deciding which would hurt less, take the punch!)

The apartment was pitch black, save for the light from the hallway and what appeared to be a small game system in the corner of the room. The outline of a person huddled in the corner and only one eye visible greeted us-well, sort of since the owner didn't seem to even notice we were there-wide open and perhaps severely strained from overuse. "Oi, Yen." She nudged him with her foot a couple of times with little more response than a "uungh" or "mneeehh!" from him. "Good grief...cover your eyes guys, this might hurt a bit." "Hurt..?" "LET THERE BE LIGHT," she shouted, throwing the drapes wide open and filling the room with sunlight.

"AAAAUUGHHH! Turn out the sun! Shoot it!" The boy hissed viciously as Caligo drew the curtains back to the center a little more and clutched his PSP tightly to his chest. "My precious...!" "Geeze Yen, chill! You DO know you missed work today, right?" "Uh.." He sobered up from...Whatever it was he was on and paled a little more at the mention of the distasteful word. "Crap...I'm sorry Cal," he muttered, dragging his hands down his face. "Benny's the one you're gonna have to apologize to dude..."

"I know...! Crap..!" She sighed, taking a similar pose to the one she attempted to stand up to Austria with and looked down at her friend. "What game is it THIS time?" "Persona 4..." "Ugh, you're such a NERD!" "Damn right," he muttered, standing and looking at us. "So...uh...sorry, what were you here for again?" "I asked if you'd mind having a roommate. His name is Kiku." He looked at me again-it was more like creeper staring really-and made an "ah, I get it now" expression.

"Yeah, you can stay. It'll be like living with sane people again." "Except this one," she said, jabbing YenKin in the side with a finger, "Might periodically slip into video game comas. Oi, Roderich! Don't touch that!" "Is he with you," he asked, utterly confused. Austria replaced the small glass sculpture on the coffee table and looked at the two conversing with that same irritated expression from the cafe. "In a sense..Gilbert managed to knock the crap out of him and he ended up at my place...but it seems like he can't remember anything from before that." "Well how're you gonna find who he really belongs to?" "I..." She let out a long sigh and leaned back against the wall, hands behind her head. She looked as if she'd never been more troubled in her life than now...

"Caligo." "I know, I know...! But..how am I supposed to...I can't just file a missing person report...can I?" YenKin shrugged and stretched out his legs that were surely stiff from sitting around for so long. "Worth a shot, right?" Caligo sighed again and waved which he seemed to take as an "ok, fine, I'll do it later" before waving as well. "Call me if he doesn't take good care of you Kiku!" "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence Cally!" "You're welcome!"

"So...dinner's at 7.." He glanced the clock which read 11:14. "Oh. I guess lunch is now. You hungry?" "No thank you. Caligo gave me some soup." "Cally made you soup?" "Hai." "And you _ATE_ it?" He stared at me as I nodded before chuckling and entering the dark kitchen. "You're braver than I am."

...

"W-Wait! Am I going to die or something?"

* * *

><p>AN: Ok, before anyone says anything, yes, Austria was very OOC but there's an explanation for that later on as I write more, so don't worry about it! He goes back to normal for a while so yeah. All will be explained later, I promise!


	8. What if?

Side story for the series where the nations get the new experimental units! Basically a reversal of the Hetalia got pOWNed story, but it's just a little side thing...Unless people think I should expand it into a second one o.o Let me know! xD

* * *

><p>"Yo Brittan, where do you want this gigantic thing?" "Just drop it over there by the table."<p>

**CRASH!**

"Not LITERALLY you bloody git!" Alfred gave the elder nation a sheepish grin before turning his full attention back to the large and oddly shaped crate. "Seriously bro, what did you order? This box is freakin huge!" "It's supposed to be an AI that'll help me keep this place clean for the days you decide to show up sporadically." The American did have a habit of showing up unannounced but since he was here, Arthur figured, he might as well be useful while he was.

"Why not just hire a maid?" "Because then I'd have to pay them." "Cheap bastard," he chuckled. "Well, let's get this thing open!" Alfred was about to pry the lid off the strange box when Arthur flipped through the manual and stopped him. "Instructions? For opening a box? Seriously? C'mon dude! We can figure this out easy!" "I'd prefer that whatever's inside didn't explode or..."cause bodily harm or injury upon removal"..." "Wow...This must be some pretty intense machinery in here...well! Let's get cracking!"

How to safely wake your YENKIN JUNG unit:

1. Play You're Beautiful at the highest possible volume on your TV or computer and stand-at the very least-on the other side of your house. Your unit will promptly use his included tonfa to bust a hole in the box and run out to watch. During this time you can reprogram him QUETLY, as any disturbance during the show may provoke a violent or rude response from him. If you don't have that, 49 days, Coffee Prince or any other Korean drama will do.

2. Play a song by the group Super Junior or any other Korean band and once again stand as far away from the box as possible. Your unit will tap his foot and hum along to the song or break out of the box and steal your computer. Either way, it'll be safe to reprogram him. Again, do this QUIETLY or be prepared for a potential ass whipping.

3. Turn on any type of game system with the latest Persona game and leave it on top of the box. Your unit will knock a hole in the box, take it, and begin playing until he beats the game or you reprogram him. This is his "tweaking" mode and he will refuse to do anything other than play his video games until you take him out of it. Be as loud as you like with this method because he will simply ignore you as long as he has the game.

4. Have a MAVI NUDELN unit babble about the latest episode of one of the aforementioned Korean dramas, let a FELICITY ADAMS unit creep on him, or let a CALIGO VALGUS unit remove him from the box and tell him to draw a doujinshi for her latest story. He'll respond excitedly, terrified and normal respectably.

**Note: a creepy French guy would be a reasonable equivalent to a FELICITY ADAMS unit. Also, we, the creators, are not responsible for any ensuing damage to property or your face by a CALIGO VALGUS or LIN KOLLANE unit for mentally scarring their friend.**

Arthur sighed and mentally eliminated all other options save for the second (the first one already giving him a headache...) but what the hell did Korean music sound like? "I figured you'd pick a girl unit to be a maid...unless you're into that kinda thing," Alfred trailed off before his friend could smack him. "I honestly don't care as long as the bloody thing does what I need it to. Now how are we going to find Korean music?" "Psh! Easy! That's what YouTube is for!" "Ohohon, what is my little Angleterre plotting now?"

Oh, this was just _TOO_ easy...

Arthur looked around the room-(1) to locate the entrance Francis had used to get into the house (he didn't always use a door for some reason), and (2)-to see if there was anyone else who would invade his home at the moment. All clear..."Your timing couldn't be any better my friend." "Such a warm welcome today! What have I done to earn it, mon cher?" The Brit did his best to hide the wickedness in his grin and patted Francis on the back, pointing to the box. "I need you to go over there and inspect that box. Think you could do that for me?" "Moi? Certainly!"

He practically _flew_ over to the box and felt around it before finding and prying up a loose edge. "Ohohohon," he chuckled, giving Arthur a rather lewd look. "You have quite an adorable package dear Angleterre. Come here and let me see~!" "What the-get away from me! Go away!" The box shook violently, Francis' face still blocking the hole and the YENKIN JUNG unit flipping out just as he should. "Dude, that's just gotta be WAY too convenient for him to show up like that..." Alfred had a very valid point, but you can't exactly worry about what hasn't happened yet...

"FELICITY!" A foot accompanied the voice that crashed through the front door. Bright red eyes stared through the newly formed hole as a hand reached in to open the door and reveal a young...Well, the clothes said boy but the hair and voice said girl. Either way, the intruder was furious. Wasting no time, the stranger charged into the room, bear hugged Francis round the waist, and proceeded to souplex him face first into the floor before kicking the lid off the crate. "Ni shoushangle ma, YenKin?" "I'm alright...It wasn't Felicity so yeah..." "It's a creepy old French dude. I'd be more than just worried if I were you!" "That was so awesome! France just got totally owned by the midget dude," Alfred laughed loudly as said nation peeled his face off the floor and looked at the one who had put him there to begin with.

"What a remarkably strong child! America, does it belong to yo-" "Call me "it" or "child" again and you're toast," the child barked, proceeding to grind his face into the floor. "H-Hold up...! Caligo..!" "Holy shit Matt! When'd you get here bro?" Matthew sighed, "I've been right here ever since she kicked your door in, which I'm sorry about by the way..."

"SHE?"

"DAMNIT!" YenKin just stood there with a blank expression as Caligo continued to stomp Francis into the floor..."Why does everyone keep thinking I'm a boy Yen...?" "Um..." He patted her shoulder awkwardly before looking toward Matthew with a "f**king do something, this is so awkward!" look. "Why'd you get a unit Matt? And a girl one at that!" The American laughed even louder than before noticing Caligo's glare and Arthur waited for her to start beating him as he suspected she would. "Well," Matthew started as the female unit advanced on his brother with a dark look. "Cuba's been a little more irritated with..y-you lately and...usually..he just rants...b-but he keeps mistaking me for you so...she's supposed to protect me.." "A GIRL unit's PROTECTING you? Well I mean it makes sense and all but-" "ASSHOLE!" Random kicks and punches accompanied various threats as the unit did her best to beat him into an American version of the Francis shaped puddle on the floor.

"I suppose the git's lucky he's as strong as he is..." "Y-Yeah...I'm just a little worried about-" She suddenly threw him onto the coffee table hard enough to smash it in half and planted a foot on his chest. "Don't talk about Mattie like that!" "Woaw, chill out," Alfred laughed, grabbing her ankle. "It's just a joke. He's my bro after all!" Matthew turned to a stunned Arthur, sighing another apology. "She's a bit...high strung but, believe it or not, CALIGO VALGUS is one of the more docile units..." "Wh-What about YenKin then?" "He's strictly self defense. Caligo is sort of a bodyguard unit but more tolerable of people than the LIN KOLLANE unit..." "So, in other words," he choked out, staring at the destroyed table. "The other unit could do worse..."

"Basically..." Alfred threw a punch back with a playful smile that she easily dodged and Arthur practically flipped. "Alfred F. Jones, you do NOT punch a lady!" "It's just a game Iggy! She's having fun so why shouldn't I?" "You're such an ass!" Caligo's heel went smashing through the door to the kitchen next and Arthur quickly turned on Matthew. "I don't care how it works but make her stop!" "I-I don't know how except giving her panda...!" "SHE EATS PANDAS?" "Wh-what? N-No!" "It's a Chinese food chain in America dude! It's called Panda Express but it's not actual pandas, duh!" He was so close to clocking the idiot himself...

Unfortunately, keeping his house from resembling Swiss cheese held a higher priority. Even worse, he didn't know of a single Panda Express restaurant within at least 50 miles of said area..."Great. NOW how are we supposed to stop her?" "Ch-Check the manual...!" "This manual's for YenKin! Not Caligo!" "Arthur, duck!," YenKin yelled as Alfred stumbled past the two and a roundhouse followed him soon after, just barely skimming the tops of their heads. "The units are related so YenKin can stop her..!" "Canada, this better bloody work!"

Trouble shooting

Q: Help! A LIN KOLLANE/CALIGO VALGUS is trying to beat up/destroy everything after YenKin became frightened! HOW DO I STOP THE MADNESS?

A: well, first off, we warned you. But before you start getting upset, this is a frequently occurring problem that can easily be solved. Put YENKIN JUNG into his Mediator mode to calm down an angry LIN KOLLANE unit or K-Pop Star mode if it's a CALIGO VALGUS unit. LIN KOLLANE will go into her default modes and CALIGO VALGUS will go into her J-Pop Star mode and sing along to whatever YENKIN JUNG is singing, though the song must be in Japanese or she won't understand him. YENKIN JUNG can sing in either language but prefers Korean. You can criticize the solution all you like really. It's really YOUR problem according to the waiver you signed upon purchase.

"What? Well, whatever...YenKin, come here please." His face clearly stated that he didn't like whatever his idea might be but he complied nonetheless. "Bloody hell this is awkward..." "Psh, you're one to talk. Your hand is in the back of my neck." "If you're in need of assistance-" "GO TO HELL, PEDO!" "Quit foolin' around Iggy! I'm getting tireeed!" "YOU try reprogramming an AI while YOUR house is being destroyed, git!"

YenKin suddenly spun around toward them, grinning and held a thumbs up to the Brit. "What does the boss man need?" "Just stop the crazy woman!" "how," he asked with a very clueless-America like smile. "I'm a singer, not a fighter." "Then sing something to her!" "You got it. Music to soothe the savage beast, coming right up!" He started singing loud and charmingly but the next thing to be destroyed was the door to the pantry that she'd managed to rip off its hinges to beat the loud mouthed blonde with.

"It's not working!" "How strange! Lucky Guy is such a great song~!" "Is it in Japanese?" "No," he scoffed. "It's Korean!" "Then sing in Japanese or it won't work!" "Okay! Okay! Don't have a cow..." Irritation wove around each word of the new song, the melody amazingly sinister and the ruckus in the kitchen ceased at the sound of his voice. Caligo appeared in the doorway, answering him in a high pitched, very feminine voice and danced into the room theatrically. All they needed were costumes and they'd have a great act!

"Got you!" Surprisingly, it was Matthew that caught her and her voice cut out with a yelp. "But Mattie! We weren't finished!" "All the better! That sounded dreadfully creepy!" The pout she gave was even MORE frightening than the song...Alfred pinched the girl's cheeks and Matthew scowled as she started whining. "You bumbling twit, what did I tell you about treating a lady that way!" "Aw, c'mon Iggy! She's makin such an adorable face! You just gotta pi-AUGH! She bit me!" "Mattiiiieeee," she whined. He sighed before releasing her, "Just pick a different song ok?.." "Mkay Mattie, whatever you say~!"

The three other blondes looked at the Canadian with awkward curiosity and he flushed, squeezing Kumajiro tighter. "It's...a long story...I'll fix everything England, I promise...!" "I'm just glad she stopped," he sighed, surveying the damage. It was quite a lot for such a small girl, but then again, she WAS a robot after all...

"We should totally bring them to the meeting bro! They'd be a riot!" "More like start a riot..." "America certainly has a point though," Francis practically sang, eyeing the two singing units. "When they are so bubbly and charming like that, you just want to dress them up and-"

"NOT in MY house you damn pervert!"

* * *

><p>Translation:<p>

Ni shoushangle ma- Are you hurt


	9. I got this Feeling

Woot! Another chapter! I've seriously been freaking out cuz I didn't think anyone was reading my story...T.T Oh well. It gives me time to improve, ne? Well, this is a new chapter and will be bringing in some new characters, hurray!

Just something to note:

Felicity Adams is a character I based off one of my good friends from school and she just goes together with YenKin so well so I figured it'd work in the story too! xD It's not her official entrance into the story but she's mentioned in affiliation with

CANADA~!

My translations came from Google by the way, so if there's something that isn't correct, please let me know and I'll be more than happy to correct it!

I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

I got this feeling...

* * *

><p>Caligo walked up to the serving window behind the counter and leaned in sighing. "Well, at least you're at work today." "Yeah, well, Kiku ****ing took all my games so I really had no choice." He tossed off his apron and came out to the front counter, the bags under his eyes obvious in the dining area of the cafe. "Holy hell Yen! Did you sleep at all last night?" "Not..." Insert loud yawn here.<p>

Click.

"Really...Not for a while..." "Well why the hell not?" YenKin brushed the hair out of his face.

Click.

"Well," he sighed, leaning on the counter.

Click.

"I keep getting this weird feeling..." "What feeling? Like someone's stalking you?" "Yeah, actually." She stared at him for a moment before the seriousness of his statement set in.

Click.

"Well what for?" "Beats me," he shrugged with a paranoid glance around the room. Her eyes tried to follow his gaze but couldn't seem to see what he was looking for.

Click.

"But it feels like, well, someone's...following me." They looked again and managed to look past me about 4 times, just like Felicity said they would. I felt a little bad spying on them but Felicity's been so down lately so it couldn't hurt that much, right? "Dude, that's just creepy...you really think someone's stalking you or something?"

Click.

"Basically. I have the strongest feeling that it's the chick in the apartment above me, Felicity, but either she's on a trip or she just hasn't come out of her house for a few days." I sighed at the mention of Felicity and rested my chin on Kumajiro's head for a moment. "I hope she snaps out of it soon...it's been almost a week now..." "Who're you?" "I'm Canada..!" Silly bear...

Click.

"Ok, seriously. Does anyone else hear that clicking noise or do I have to see my doctor again?" "No, no. I hear it too..." Uh oh...His friend jumped over the counter and looked around the relatively empty cafe, searching for the source of the sound. Kumajiro slipped away to sniff some gum under the table and I tried to act casually, sipping my hot chocolate.

"S'cuse me, sir?" "H-How can I, uh, help you?" "Mind if I see your camera for a second?" She snatched up the camera before I could protest and turned it over. Oh no…Please don't be- "Aha! This IS Felicity's camera!" "N-no it's-" "Who're you?" "Shh, Kumajiiiaaahhh! Ow! Stop! P-please stop that...!" She grabbed the camera and my curl before dragging me over to the counter where YenKin stood with an awkward and rather disturbed look on his face. "He's got Felicity's  
>camera." "You stole it?,." he hissed. I guess this was why she had a thing for him...<br>"I think he's spying on you for her," she emphasized with a tug and I cringed, praying YenKin would help. Seriously, France and Felicity put me through a lot but at least they knew what they were doing! "Well, as normal as this is, it's not cool. Hey, um..." "Y-yeah...?"

"Uh...damnit. Cal?" "Matthew." "What?" "His name is Matthew." She knew my name? A girl knew my name? "Right...Matthew. Tell her if she wants to see me, just come and..." He shifted awkwardly, scratching his neck. Poor guy, oh how I knew his pain..."Visit me...But just as long as I know she's there and not like...hiding in my apartment walls or something..."

Note to self: Tell Felicity to scrap that idea A.S.A.P.

"A-Alright, will do...um...could you maybe...let go...?" "Oh. Sorry Matt." She let go, still looking a little put off by my antics and even more disturbed than before but apparently that was normal when it came to Felicity..."S-so you really mean that thing about Felicity visiting you, eh?" "As long as I KNOW she's there cuz I REALLY need sleep...Seriously." "She'll be glad to hear it...!" "Hey, Matthew." "Y-yes ma'am...?" "Just so you know..." She yanked me down to eye level with her and whispered darkly, "The next time I catch you spying on him for Felicity, I'll punch you both so hard that Alfred and Francis will feel it. Got it?" "Y-yes ma'am...! It won't happen again, I swear!" "Really Cal...?"

Cal grunted and rolled her eyes before gently letting me up again. Felicity didn't say YenKin had a guard dog! "It's nothing personal, she's just starting to really mess you up...and reminds me of France...a lot." "You've met France...?" Caligo shuddered and shook her head violently. "Thank god no but I already know what'll happen if I ever do..." "That'd be a site to see," he laughed, earning him a glare which he seemed to ignore.

His expression suddenly became stiff and serious as he directed his full attention to her. Looks like they forgot I was here..."Did you make the report on Roderich?" The intimidating aura left her and she cringed at the mention of Austria. "What report...?" "Yeah, I did...they don't see the units as actual people-which I think is the biggest load of crap ever by the way-but they said if no one comes looking for him within 90 days, I get to "keep him" apparently..."

It bothered her, I guess. "Why is Austria with you?" "Oh...We had a run in with him when we took Gilbert drinking. It's just so weird cuz he can't seem to remember anything..! I keep thinking he's going to run off and be gone when I get home..." YenKin patted her shoulder gently with a sigh and she scowled. She had a sour look that was oddly familiar, like one I'd seen on England a few times when America just wouldn't stop bothering him, but he was only trying to help!

"I need a drink after this." "Come on Cally, it's not even 3 yet!" "Not RIGHT after work," she snapped before immediately throwing him a remorseful glance. "I'm gonna go with Val when he gets out...maybe Gilbert, provided he doesn't play anymore drinking games..." Someone actually wanted to be around Prussia for a change? "You guys wanna come too?" "Wh-What?" "You wanna come drinking with tonight," she asked with a bored stare. "I-I'm not going to be responsible for getting you into a bar...!" "For the love of all things holy, I'm 21!"

She dropped her head onto the counter with a loud thud and I winced at the sound. Obviously I hit a nerve..."I'd be g-glad to, b-but..." Just please stop trying to fuse your face with the counter top..."It's cool Matt, I get it...Yen?" "You know I don't drink..." "You don't have to." "I realize that, but with my lacking sleep and all, I don't think I could put up with the idiots that congregate there." He gave her a half apologetic grimace at her dejected sigh and began drumming her nails on her serving tray. "Guess it's just us 3...god I hope we don't get run out of the bar again..." And she wanted to go back? I think Felicity lied when she said Caligo was the rational one...

-Bar-Gilbert's P.O.V.-

"Why do we keep coming back here like a bunch of masochists?" "Cuz if we're gonna get shitfaced and cath a cab, we might as well do it near my house." "Why couldn't we just get shitfaced AT your house," she growled. Vilkas simply shrugged as we entered the bar, happy hour apparently only having recently started. Maybe-for Flatty's sake-we'd be able to get some beer and-

"Hey! Beilschmidt!" Caligo groaned and smashed her head into the bar as the owner of a familiar Scottish accent drew closer to us. "Go away, damnit," she hissed, about to take a sip of her beer when a big and hairy hand forced the bottle back down on the counter. "Bitch, you better be getting me a new one..." "We got a score to settle here, Beilschmidt." Flatty shot the Russian-wannabe a glare that outright said 'since when did they know his name!' and I laughed. "You're on!" "The hell are you doing? We didn't agree to this tonight." "What's got your drawers in a knot? More games equals more beer which equals us getting drunker!" Uuugh...kill me now...!" "What?" "Your "awesome" grammar is making my ears bleed," Lin groaned before throwing back a shot of what looked like rum.

Flatty was less fun than usual tonight, even less fun than West and I didn't even think that was possible! Lin certainly wasn't helping the mood either...Kesesese! Once again, the awesome me would have to save their evening! "Let's get this show on the road you Nazi bastard!"

Yeah, there's no way they're walking away from this one. "Come on Flatty, I'm giving you the awesome honor of being my beer pong partner!" "Why on Earth...?" "Just go with it Cally," Vilkas called from the bar and the Scotsman across the table gave her the strangest smirk ever. "Cally?," he snickered. "BITE ME." His partner gave him a hard shove before he could respond and Caligo picked up a paddle, wielding it in a threatening manner. "Bitch, you're gonna replace my beer after we're done whipping you." "Please don't feel obligated to involve yourself in our game. This is purely between my acquaintance and that ruffian beside you." A loud smack alerted the watching crowd to Caligo's mug, bottom cracked against the table edge and an already somewhat drunken (more like frikin _**EVIL**_) grin on her face. "Your buddy became MY problem the second he opened his mouth and that's where this paddle's going when we're done." "Your serve then, Cally," the Scotsman sneered.

And oh, what an awesomely bad idea that was for them! First shot from Flatty nailed the blonde right between his fuzzy eyebrows and the Scotsman scowled. "You're testing my patience," he ground out. "Bring it on, mon chou Angleterre." Angleterre.

France.

No, the word was French, but I recalled France using the term fondly quite often. I chanced a glance over at said blonde who was now in a rally with Flatty and I wondered if the piano freak had taught her anything useful over the past few days.

"Was ist mit dem Franzosisch Kosenamen?" "It's French for England." "Das ist England?" A brief nod before she launched the small plastic ball back at the other end of the table, bouncing it into England's mug. "Now drink you tea sucking bastard!" For once, she was the one getting out of hand. If I had a camera, this would be the greatest blackmail ever, kesesese! "Keep your eyes on the ball Gilbert!" As the game went on, the Brit was becoming easily less enthusiastic-the old bastard mumbling to himself-and both Flatty and I easily getting shots off on his partner who was almost on the floor himself. At some point, I think she might've actually taken some pity on-presumably-the Brit and shot the last point into the offending Scotsman who was now so far  
>under the table that the game was little more than a lost cause for them.<p>

"I gotta admit that game was pretty awesome for someone like you!" I would've at least expected a witty or vicious remark, but nothing. She simply walked over to the blonde who was now cradling his head as if he'd been hit by something real hard, real fast and hoisted him up from the floor by the arm. "Lin." She seemed to understand enough to come and help the poor bastard off the floor. For the life of me, I couldn't figure why they were helping the loser this time around...

"Up and at 'em Arthur." "Who," he groaned, lacking his usual gentlemen like demeanor as he stared up at the two girls holding him up. "You gotta get sober and peel your...owner, off the floor," Caligo hissed with great disdain. "Oh lord...I don't wanna...can't...make me...! I'm the bloody United Kingdom for god's sake! Scotland can't tell me how to..." Lin grimaced as they hauled him onto the chair and scowled at Caligo. "He's drunk off his rocker..." "God...I refuse to go and peel that Scottish asshole off the floor." England was muttering and mumbling strange things as they tried to sober him up but all he did was slump against Lin with a dejected sigh. "Nobody wants me around...not even you jerks!" "Calm down Arthur, no one said that..!" "But you're trying to get rid of me! Send me back to that drunk bastard..." "Wah-don't look at me...!" "Well if you can do it then why can't I?" "Do what?" "Take him home!" Caligo's jaw almost hit the floor, England actually DID hit the floor, and Vilkas hadn't been paying them any attention since the start of the game. "Lin, there's a difference between our situations." "Well if he wants to leave, he can! Just for tonight." "Bloody...fine," she sighed. "Just...be careful about that, ok?" "Of course," she grinned confidently. "Can we go home now? I think...man, I just wanna sleep..." Maybe I was a little too drunk to care, but...well yeah. I guess I didn't care. Let that be their problem! We came here to get totally smashed and I did just that in the most awesome way possible, kesesese!

* * *

><p>Translations:<p>

Mon chou Angleterre (French)-My dear England

Angleterre (French)-England

Was ist mit dem Franzosisch Kosenamen (German) Roughly translates to: What is with the French nickname?

Das ist England? (German)-That is England?


	10. It's All About Planning

Ok, I have to admit, I seriously had fun writing this even if it sorta is kind of a boring chapter, but hey! It just gets weirder in the next chapter xp I was a little late in writing a christmas chapter since it's been CHAOS at my house so this next chapter will cover both Christmas and New Years so yeah .

WOOT~!

* * *

><p>It's all about planning (Or lack thereof...)<p>

_***~Kiku~YenKin~***_

This morning, as usual, I woke up early, made tea, and made breakfast for YenKin. (There was such a thing as poor eating habits, but it was even worse for one to not eat at all in the morning!) Again, as usual, I went to wake the young man up only to find his blanket folded and his sheets neat and undisturbed from the previous morning but the room itself in a haphazard mess.  
>Either YenKin had decided to redo the carpeting in his room with wrapping paper, or Saint Nick's elves had hit his room like a tornado. "I don't believe him sometimes...the rest of the house is near spotless and his room looks like he had a fight with some tissue paper and lost...!" The sound of a knob being turned indicated someone in the shower-I have no idea how I missed that before-and the door opened as my missing charge exited a moment later in his usual attire and a towel draped over his head.<p>

"Morning Kiku. You're up kinda early..." "I'll assume that you're not fully awake yet," Kiku sighed before looking at the mass of awkwardly wrapped boxes by the door. "What is all the mess for?" YenKin stared blankly at me for a few moments before recognition replaced it and a grin that could only mean he was plotting-or at least knew-something that he didn't. "Dont worry, I'll clean it up later." I couldn't quite place the suspicion, but just the way that he smiled made me feel like the dirty little secret he was keeping-so to speak-would not end well...

I had to admit though, I was a little curious as to what hid within the box labeled for me…

_***~Little!Ivan~Vilkas~***_

"Bowl?" "Check!" "Spoons?" "Check!" "Jello mix?" "Check, check, check!" "Ready to make some tasty desserts?" "Da!" Otets ruffled my hair as he handed me the boxes of instant jell-o mix and went to secure a measuring cup. I tore open the box along with the little brown paper packet inside and fluffy dust puffed out into my face, making me cough. Otets set the measuring up down beside me and dusted off my cheeks. "Careful Ivan. That's messy stuff." "Yes Otets! We add now?" "That's right," he chuckled, pouring the icky tasting powder into the  
>bowl. "Now you can add the water and then we'll mix it with a big spoon." "Yay~!"<br>Around the second or third cup of water I tipped into the bowl, I switched jobs with otets and stirred the odd looking goop that was forming in the bowl. "Whats this for Otets?" "It's for our late Christmas new year's eve party tonight. We're going to take the jell-o over to Aunty Lin's house and play with sparklers and firecrackers until midnight and have lots of fun," he trailed off with a small smile. I guess this is what the grownups called reminiscing? Otets sure looked happy...

"So is the jell-o gonna help people stay awake?" "Well, I don't know about that but it's certainly fun to eat." Why couldn't it help people stay awake? The box said it had sugar in it? "What does jell-o taste like?" "Why don't you try some," he smiled, pulling out a spoon and dipping it into the bowl. I ate a small mouthful of the slimy goop that surprisingly didn't taste too bad, but it tasted like it needed something...

The phone rang and otets patted my head before leaving to answer the phone in the living room and I looked around the cluttered counter. At the far end was a bottle of vodka just recently opened and just the thing this slimy goop needed! Surely otets wouldn't mind! I grabbed the bottle, opened the top, and tipped it over into the bowl until it looked like an aquarium with sand in it and started stirring. "Sorry about that Ivan. Uncle Mal had some questions for me about...giant rolls of paper..." He shook his head before smiling at me. "How does it taste?" "Perfect~!"

_***~Roderich~Caligo~***_

A loud thud from the other room woke me a little earlier than I was used to, the clock reading 8:37 AM. As awkward as it was, waking up in an unfamiliar setting such as-if the mess of clothes in the corner and what looked to be a pocket knife on the nightstand was any indication-  
>a male's room.<p>

Whatever the case may be, the loud thuds only continued with an occasional grunt until there was an obvious crash of something hard hitting the floor and a not-so-subtle 'fuck!' thrown in. It couldn't hurt (well, actually, yes it could) to see what the fuss was about, especially since they had been kind enough to allow him to sleep in their own home. Finding my glasses on the nightstand beside the bed, I opened the door quietly and edged out into what appeared to be the  
>living room.<p>

Just beyond that was the kitchen where a large blue tarp had been laid out, large boxes strewn across it and another one in the process of being placed among the others as well. A young woman in baggy red shorts and a black tank top dusted off her gloved hands before turning  
>around, smudges of black on her cheeks. "Morning Roderich!" "Good morning..." That sounded a little more cautious than I'd intended...<p>

She gave me an odd look before shrugging and returning her attention to the task at hand...whatever that was. "Sorry, had to get all this together for the new year's party. You're gonna come with me, right?" "I'm not much of a...party person..." "Please Roderich," she said, sparing a pleading glance at me. "It'll be fun, I promise and I wanna spend it with all my friends!" We were friends? I couldn't even recall the girl's name and yet she wanted me to go to a party with her...

"Alright, alright. Please stop with the cutesy voice though..." "Absolutely! Oh man, New Year's is gonna rock!" I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. Though, my original curiosity had yet to be satisfied. "What exactly is it you're bringing to the party," I asked, carefully avoiding a need to use her name. "Ink blocks!"

_What?_

**_*~Gilbert~Mal~*_**

The awesome me here, coming to you from some god awful home appliance store with this unbelievably so-happy-go-lucky-he-puts-Italy-to-shame human looking for huge rolls of paper...  
>"Ok. I have to ask again: why are we looking for rolls of PAPER in a home appliance store?" "Well where would you suggest," he chirped. Gilbird broke into an unholy chorus of angry chirps of which I was responsible for calming.<p>

So. Not. Awesome.

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe a craft store?" By the time the words left my awesome mouth he'd already run off to talk to what looked like a store worker who was already giving the weirdo weird looks. I swear I could see him asking him WHY he was looking at a home appliance store for not-wall-paper. Why doesn't anyone listen to the awesome me?

Or whatever the hell they sold here.

"Hey! Just get us a roll of blank paper and we'll be outta your hair!" "Right away sir!"  
>That's more like it.<p>

**_*~Little!Feliciano~Mavi~*_**

I think it's kind of funny how Mavi-chan always tells me to be careful and I end up cleaning up her messes later…"Uaaaahh! F-Feli! Get the mop, quick!" "Si mama!" Easy every-day jobs like this are fine, but sometimes-

CRASH!

"Uaah...! Why me...?" "Ve~, cheer up mama. The...scones still look pretty good!" "They're cookies," she sighed, slumping into a chair, exhausted. I rubbed her back gently when she hit the table face first and sighed. "I guess Lin was right for telling me to bake at my house instead of hers...Oh well!" She sprung back up, more likely than not about to give the cooking another try. "I can handle this! She has Iggy to worry about, so I should be wishing HER good luck!" "Mama, you forgot to turn the stove off...!"

**_*~Arthur~Lin~*_**

"Baka...Don't move around so much." "D-Don't order me around you bl-bloody..." An involuntary shiver shook my frame and there wasn't a blasted thin I could do about that smug grin of hers before she wrapped the blanket around me tighter. She had been nice enough when I'd first woken up with that god awful hangover but now she was as bossy as ever. Honestly! I wasn't sick! It's called bloody allergies, but does she believe me?

**NO!**

"I'm fine...I swear!" Glaaaare...Good grief, if looks could kill, I should be dead a thousand times over by now..."I'm not going to argue the point with you anymore, so just sit there, ok?" You have no idea how tempted I was to open my mouth again, but how would I effectively (and if politeness could e accommodated in this situation) argue my condition with my hostess? Granted, taking the cold shower-insert bone rattling sneeze here-was her idea to begin with, it was all with good intentions. It would be cruel of me to make her feel bad for trying to help me. Still, the bloody American wankers were all alike with their bossy attitudes...

"Here," she said evenly, thrusting array with a bowl of hot soup into my lap. "Drink up and get better so you can help me set up for the party tonight." "Party? What party? You never menti-ACHOO! Ugh, damnit..." She rolled her eyes and turned away but I didn't miss the smallest hint of a smile as she did. "I would have told you if you weren't so hung over or yelling at me all the time...Either way, we're having one and I would like if you came..." "You would now? Is that  
>the formal invite?"<p>

She grunted in response and dissappeared into the kitchen again, leaving me to my soup and the rather awkward party invitation. She wanted me to come, did she? And it wasn't as if she was INSISTING that I go (I couldn't help but think of America at this)...It was actually rather...nice to be wanted..."Alright, I suppose I could humor her and her guests," I resolved and proceeded to gulp down the hot chicken soup.

She was right about this making me feel better at least. Shrugging off the blanket, I took the tray back into the kitchen where she was hunched over in front of the oven with a rather intense look on her face. "Thank you for the soup Ms. Kollane." "Just call me Lin," she muttered, waving me off. "Lin..." The name sounded awkward as it was all on its own...

"Alright, thank you Lin...I see that you're baking. Perhaps I could-"

"No."


	11. New Beginnings

Uaaaahhhh! Ok, I know it's a little late, but here's my New Year's Eve/Day chapter! Felicity Jones is still sort of an obscure character but for all those who like those creeper-like characters in stories, DON'T WORRY. She'll come in more often and with actual speaking roles...

Eventually.

I hope you all enjoy this and Happy Holidays since I missed too many to keep track of! XD

DISCLAIMER ON HETALIA *SOB*

5/26/12: Changed Ryuu's age cuz of another story I'm writing for a later date for this series. Was thinking of making it a separate story like the horror story I did for Friday the 13th but maybe I'll just incorporate it into this one.

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><p>New Beginnings<p>

"Happy New Year's Eve everyone!" Lin clapped a heavy hand on the first person to enter, which happened to be an exhausted looking Mavi and little Italy with a tray of slightly burnt sugar cookies. The boy known as Vilkas entered next with a..."Good lord...is that...Ivan?" "Dobryi den, Iggy!" "H-Hello Russia..."

This certainly was quite a shock..."Good to see you up and off your ass..." How does one respond politely to an arse of this size?..."Oi, play nice Val..." A half grunted "whatever" was his brilliant response as Gilbert's beer pong partner entered along with Austria. Well, that was ONE sane nation at least...

"ARE YOU ALL READY FOR THIS? CUZ THE KING OF AWESOME HAS ARRIVED~!"

"SHUT IT, BEILSCHMIDT!" "Aw, come on you guys! IT'S A P-" Lin was at the boy's throat in a matter of nanoseconds, dragging his face down within centimeters of hers and growled, "Finish that sentence and your ass is grass. Got it?" "O-Okay...sorry man..." The brass knuckles that magically materialized onto her hands didn't hurt to emphasize the point either.

"Yo Lin, harass him later. Yen's gonna be here soon and we gotta find a safe place to hide him from Felicity for a while..." "Stop butchering the Queen's English damnit!" She turned to me with a bored look before picking up an accent I'd never heard before and said, "Brah, take one breatha so you can rememba where you wen end up, kay?" Fucking...whatever the bloody hell she was!

"Little prat..." "Yo, Iggy! Chill bro! It's a party!" "DAMN IT ALL!" The people present suddenly went silent and stared back at me, their faces unreadable. "What," I snapped. "Dude...! Not in front of the kid," America hissed. I spun around to give him a lecture on grammar when I noticed the small girl cradled in his arms staring at me, fear barely hinted in her bright, red tinted eyes. Said eyes narrowed and she snapped with venom equal to my own, "Shut up."

"Wh-Where did you learn that," her apparent caretaker gasped. "From me," said the rather buff, almost 6 foot man behind them. "And I'm the only one that's gonna be teaching her any new words, got it?" "Aniki..." "Except for her aunt," he sighed, hugging the slang slinging brat from before. "I'm leaving her with you for the night, ok? Don't let her do any-" "Yes, yes, don't worry. Same deal as it was with me." "Papaaa! Have a good time with mommy~!" She could almost be considered adorable if it weren't for earlier...

"Take good care of her, got it Jones?" "Yes sir! Ryuu's in good hands Mr. Valgus!" I'm sure the twit would've rambled more but the man was already walking away when another boy came barreling through the doorway, dragging a flustered looking Japan behind him. "Shit! Close the door damnit! Felicity's right behind me!" "You DO know that she's coming to the party, right?"

...

"Whatever. Just...hide me until her camera batteries die!" "Yen. Calm down. What did she do this time?" "She...she...jumped out of my bloody kitchen wall," he screamed at her. Japan was usually a composed man but even he looked...well, more than just mildly disturbed at any rate...The boy known as YenKin and Japan were moved to a distant corner in the room and the festivities went on without another word of Felicity, at least for the time being. Not an hour into the party and I was already wondering what on Earth I was doing here...

***~Living room~Alfred's P.O.V.~***

"Are those your kids aunty?" "Huh? No, they're with Uncle Vilkas and Aunty Mavi. I don't have any kids." "Why not?"

Don't kids just know the best way to lead you into awkward positions? Being the hero that I am, I'll swoop in to save the damsel in distress! "She needs to find the right guy first Ryuu!" "So if you date someone, you'll have a kid?" Ok. I didn't see that coming. "Pretty observant for a 7-year-old, aren't you," I chuckled. "Please," she scoffed, crossing her arms and giving me a pointed look. "I'm seven and a half." What's up with this kid? "Be nice Ryuu." "But I want a cousin or a brother..." "Well you'll have to talk to your parents about the latter." "Wait, I thought we were talking about kids, not ladders." Both looked at me with matching are-you-really-that-dumb looks...The resemblance between them was unbelievable! "I said latter, Alfred. Not ladder." "Miss Cally!"

And now the pint-sized commie!

"Yes Ivan?" "I asked otets but he said I had to ask you...I play with Ryuu, da?" She was hiding behind Caligo's leg like a cute yet scared/angry child (kind of like Romano I suppose, but an actual girl) when Ivan spotted her again and held his hand out to her. "Play, da?" "What kinda word is da?" Even if she was a kid, big Russia probably wouldn't have let it fly but little Russia just smiled and pulled her along to the table by the TV where there was an assortment of cups and colorful jell-o shapes.

"You'd think she'd be scared..." "She might be, but in the end I think they'd get along quite well." Caligo smiled as Italy joined in on making drinks. "Hey Cal! Let's crack open the sumi-e stuff!" "The what now?" "Paint, Alfred." YenKin seemed to brighten up at the word and I followed the trio to the patio outside where Mal and Gilbert had rolled out a large sheet of paper.

"Wh-what's the paper for...?" "Hey! When'd you get here Mattie?" He flinched when YenKin waved him over with the others, somehow managing to ignore the creepy stalker chick with him and held out some pretty big paintbrushes. "Looks like we're painting bro! Let's go try it out," I laughed, dragging him over to the now-forming crowd. Mavi smiled, handing us brushes the size of Swifter dusters and Lin and Caligo started to haul large boxes over to the side by a giant black stone plate.

"Hey! Hey! Let us do that for ya! Heros never let women do all the hard work," I called, giving Mattie a friendly slap on the back. "It's faster if we do it Al." "Not if you carry only one box at a time!" "You think you can lift more?" "I KNOW I can lift more!" I gave her my best hero smile and she grinned back. "Challenge accepted," she barked and both she and Lin picked up two whole crates each. Four boxes left. "Whoever gets there first wins!"

***~Matthew's P.O.V.~***

The strength contest soon led to one to see who could make the ink the fastest. This consisted of them taking the large black slabs of ink and grinding it on the slope in the oversized dish, sending watery ink flying everywhere mostly from Alfred. YenKin was already kneeling on a clean edge of the paper with Felicity hovering about him with her camera, taking numerous pictures of whatever he was drawing and Vilkas standing behind her in an equally creepy and stalker-like yet intimidating manner. The sound of snickering (no, it's not giggling. Giggling sounds innocent and cute) and a hand tugging on my pants leg caught my attention. "Hey mister," the little girl says boldly, as if she's the leader of the trio. "Yes?" "What's the name of the guy by the karaoke machine?"

Confused-I didn't even know they had a karaoke machine-I looked over to the living room beyond the sliding glass door where Japan and England were setting up a machine, the mic which Prussia happened to be getting rather friendly with..."His name is...Gilbert, I  
>believe...Gilbert Beilschmidt..." "Bell...shits? What? What kind of name is that?" "The most awesome kind little girl!" A slight twitch. "I didn't know this was what came out when bells shit," she deadpanned and his expression turned to one of indignant shock. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you...did that Russian prick put you up to this?" "Gil! Language around the kids," I hissed, noticing Caligo and Al glancing at us. The last thing anyone needed was getting bitch slapped with a brush or what was basically a shaved gorilla souplexing me.<p>

He patted her head to which she noticeably cringed at (either she didn't know what subtlety was or just quite frankly didn't care) and tsked in a very England fashion. "You're obviously too young to know what awesomeness is little birdie...And so it falls to the awesome me to teach you! The children were dragged inside where they were sure to be annoyed to the fullest extent of his abilities, those poor souls...

"Hey Matt! What're you doing just standing around," Alfred called and waved, the others smiling at me. "Come over and draw with us Matthew!" I still couldn't get over it...they saw me. They knew I existed!

I wasn't invisible!

"A-Alright, I'll be right there...!"

***~Roderich's P.O.V.~***

I was enjoying a nice, calm conversation with Japan a good way into the party when some unholy racket suddenly violated our ears in the form of a screeching guitar. "Bitchez don't know 'bout my *hic* chick!" "Oh lord...Who allowed Prussia to even go near the blasted machine while it was plugged in?" "Bloody *hic* idiot! That's not how you *hic* do i-*hic* it," England slurred, stumbling up and snatching the mic away from him, thank god.

But then HE started singing.

"And this is why I hid the jell-o in the freezer," I sighed. Spiked jell-o. Definitely a new concept in my book…"Well, it's a change from Prussia-san's, erm, singing..." "If you could call it that." "H-Hey! I'd like to see YOU...*hic* try ta sing...piano freak! Oh man, this beer's REALLY screw-*hic*ing...with me..." "Drunken idiot..." He just about hit the floor when a loud boom accompanied by a bright flash suddenly shook the house and all of our human counterparts rushed out onto the patio. "Roderich! Kiku! Come watch the show!" "I wasn't informed that there was a show..."

"Fireworks, Austria-San. It's a tradition when welcoming the New Year." I glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. 11:55 PM. "They seem to be a little early," I murmured, but Japan had already left to join the others to wait for the rest of the fireworks. "C'mon mister Edwellstin! Let's go watch with Aunty!" "It's pronounced Edelstein, but very well. I'll watch with you and your aunt." The little girl jumped about excitedly, dragging me to the door and climbing up into Caligo's arms. "What time is it Ryuu?" She pulls out a small pocket watch with some of Japan's cartoon characters on the face and proudly declared the time, "11:57!"

She smiles and tears her attention away from the child to address me. "So did you enjoy the party?" "It was... an interesting experience." Everything with them was.

11:58

"I'm glad to hear it. I kind of assumed that parties weren't really your thing..." "They don't seem like something England enjoys very much." "Until he gets a few drinks that is," she laughs.

11:59

"Another year...Let's make it a good one, eh?" "Oh man, here comes the best part!"

10

"I must admit...I don't seem to know you all very well...but it feels refreshing to start a new year with you."

9

"I'd have to say the same..."

8

"To new beginnings then."

7

All who heard my declaration raised their glasses as well, whatever animosity we would normally reserve for each other practically nonexistent in the presence of these strange humans.

6

"Last five seconds," Alfred yelled excitedly, hoisting Ryuu onto his shoulders so that she could view the coming fireworks.

5

"2012..."

4

"Let's hope the Mayans were wrong."

3

"We've got time for one last hooray anyway!"

2

"Maybe next year Mal. Actually, correction."

1

"Zero! Happy frikin New Years!"

The sky burst with color as the clock hit midnight and everyone cheered. I suppose I drank a little too much tonight...The cheering was starting to sound like screaming...

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><p>Ooooohhh snap! What happened to Austria? I guess you'll just have to wait till the next chapter is posted, huh? ;)<p>

PLEASE REVIEW!

I'd like to hear what other characters you think I should have in here~


	12. Reboot

OK! Here's the post New Year's chapter thats like stupid tastically late but at least it's there now. xP This chapter focuses more on Austria and Caligo than anyone else so I hope that's ok for now. Still working on the Valentine's Day chapter and now that Senior Project isn't as much high stress hopefully I'll be able to finish it. Thanks to those who're still supporting my work, really! You guys are the best and I hope all my readers review! Thanks a bunch!

Disclaimer: putting these hurts my soul, but it's true. I don't own.

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><p>Quiet. All I wanted was quiet. Funny, when everything was finally peaceful, I found myself unable to sleep any longer and I was sure that it was too early for my usual time. I opened my eyes, everything blurry at first until I realized my glasses were not on. Finally managing to acquire them, I surveyed the alien room, noting the dark red comforter that had been placed over me, my coat draped over a recliner next to the couch I was on, and a purple blanket strewn across a second smaller couch.<p>

'I've certainly never been here before...' As comfortable as it was, laying about this couch wasn't going to do me any good, nor help me figure out where I was...am. For whatever reason though, that damn blanket was annoying me! Just lying there like it was part of the couch… "Fine. I'll deal with you first, and then find the owner of this house." Standing and readjusting my collar, I strode over to the unruly blanket and swiftly pulled it from the couch. "Good lord!" So maybe it was there for a reason? Like hiding a dead body, per say. One leg hanging off the couch, the opposite arm bent awkwardly around their head, the person lay face down in a pillow, completely unmoving.

"Mein gott...What on Earth happened last night...!" "Glad to have you rejoin the land of the living." I whipped around fast enough to give myself a headache and a young man with messy chestnut brown hair stood on the staircase, scratching his head with a groggy expression. "You there. Explain," I demanded, half angry and, perhaps, half frightened if the person lying face down on the couch was any indication of what he was capable of. "Relax Roderich. You just blacked out last night due to a program error." "You say that as if it's perfectly normal..." "While it isn't," he started when a small hand grasped his leg from behind one of the bars on the banister.

"Otets...YA goloden," the child yawned. "Minutu Ivan..." "Da..." I suppose a normal person would believe that they'd missed some important details and I believed that there was something I hadn't caught on to..."Wake Cally up, will you? I'm sure she'd be happy to see you," he said, gesturing to the body on the couch. "You didn't finish explaining yourself." "Later...As long as we fix your little problem."

He scooped up the sleepy Russian and entered the kitchen, probably knowing full well that I still wanted answers, so I resigned to wake up what I'd earlier believed to be a corps. 'She certainly sleeps like one...' "Cally...Wake up this instant. I am in need of your assistance..." "Huh...? Roderich," she yawned suddenly, stretching cat like. She blinked a few times before she stopped squirming and the dazed look suddenly disappeared. "Holy hell, Roderich! You're awake!"

"Indeed. Now, if you don't mind," I murmured impatiently, though I soon noted where I'd erred in that sentence..."Cal," the boy called from the kitchen, effectively saving me from whatever she might have been about to do, and sent her scampering into the kitchen. "If either of you ask me to-" "Pancakes?" She slumped over in defeat at the sight of the-rather adorable-sleepy Russian face that greeted her at the counter. "Fine...But only cuz Ivan asked." Almost as quickly as that was said, a familiar mess of platinum blonde hair showed up, the head attached to it peering around the corner cautiously. "The awesome Gilbert heard pancakes were being cooked?" "Come in Gil, just starting," Caligo smiled, pulling out a frying pan.

"No pan to the face today? The awesome me must really be growing on you, huh," he laughed in his usual obnoxious voice...An even more obnoxious arm was thrown across my shoulders as the owner leered at me as usual. "No more fainting today, right? God you're such a party killer you girl!" That seemed to merit a semi hot frying pan to the face. "Shut it Gilbert or else I'll shove it down your throat!" "Fine! Fine...women..." "Shut up, stupid Prussia," another voice muttered from the hall. Just how many people lived in this house? "Bloody hell...Like nails on a chalkboard." "And so it begins!"

Despite the growing croud of people in the kitchen, I cleared my throat and glanced expectantly toward Vilkas who was holding Russia in his lap. "Ah...Well, at any rate, I'm gonna have to take a look at your programming at my house. My desktop can do a better job than this dinky thing..." "What exactly do you propose on doing?" Sipping his coffee in an unfittingly sophisticated manner, Vilkas gave an oddly familiar, almost devious look that would put Russia to shame, had he been his normal self. "Oh, not much. Just crack open the back of your head and-" "Val!" Caligo shot him a disapproving look, making him sigh as if they'd done this for ages and stated dryly, "We're going to run a diagnostic to see what the problem is and hopefully fix it." "But for now, everyone shut up and eat their breakfast. You too Roderich~!" Even when fitting into such a domestic scene, this woman's "angelic" smile sent shivers down my spine...

This probably had to do with the fact that she wielded both spatula and frying pan like dangerous weapons when plating pancakes. Her clubbing Mal in the face with it on 'accident' really didn't have anything to do with it. Really. It didn't.

**~Vilkas' House~Caligo's P.O.V.~**

"Sometimes I wonder why I drive your lazy ass around..." "Well, in this case, it's really for Roderich's sake rather than mine." "Point taken. Still. You have a car, you have your license. Why don't you ever drive? I mean really!" I set the parking brake and flailed my arms to make my point-whatever it was-before we got out. "Waaaahhh...it's so warm here otets!" "Just a little. Inside's cold though Ivan, so put your scarf back on." Little Ivan gave a quiet "oh" before wrapping the thick tan material around his neck and shoulders before hopping out of the car. "Oh man Val...You have no idea how good your ac really feels..." "Eh...Not a big deal." "Mein gott...No big deal? Herr Krev, your home is equivalent to that of a walk in freezer," Roderich huffed, crossing his arms as we entered said freezer.

"I know where he keeps the spare blankets so hang tight til you get to his study, ok?" He must've been taken aback by the more-like-a-fact-than-an-offer if the indignant look he gave me was any indication of it. Uncrossing his arms, Roderich's posture became rigid again as he  
>followed Vilkas and Ivan down another hall leading to the back of the house and I departed to search through his linen closet. "I guess he doesn't remember the first time we met...More like the morning after," I mused quietly to myself. I almost laughed at that. I think, either way, he'd be offended by my pointing out that he indeed needs help, much less insinuating it. "Oh well...Shouldn't keep them waiting."<p>

"Val, I'm coming in so I hope you're not doing anything strange!" "I hear you Cal," came the lazy drawl from behind the door. Minus the lack of lighting and the rather large computer monitor casting an eerie glow throughout the dimly lit room, it looked like a nice place to sleep and at the moment, it looked as if Roderich was doing just that. The spare bed in the corner of the room looked comfortable, but much too small for anyone bigger than me. Ivan had taken to making a fort at the foot of the bed where Roderich's feet were just hanging off the edge and all matter of wires presently sticking out of the back of his neck as he slept.

"Hey Ivan. Wanna make a tent," I grinned, holding up one of the fluffy blankets. Poor guy wouldn't know what hit him when he woke up, although I felt a little bad for a moment as we clipped one edge of the blanket to the straps on his boots. Either way, we finished sometime later and while Ivan hid under the covers playing with a lamp light, Vilkas was still crouched over the keyboard of the computer as he had been for hours.

"You look upset," I murmured, tiptoeing over and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am." The scowl deepened. "Can't find the problem?" "Oh, I found it alright. What annoys me is that it's such a novice mistake." "Well, you know, novice to you is "what the fuck, this isn't even English" to someone else." "It's a novice PROGRAMMER error," he corrected, leaning back in his seat for once. The quizzical look I shot him prompted his explanation and probably fanned his ego a tad as well. "Whoever this idiot was, he disabled his program firewalls and loaded up a virus into his system." "What...? How does that even happen!" "Guy was screwin' with stuff he shouldn't have been...The computer has to delete and rewrite everything in his system though, including whatever he might remember about you."

I had the strongest fear that he would think I was silly if he knew I was bothered by something like that but, well, it bothered me a lot..."Whatever it takes to make him better. He doesn't remember much about me to begin with so it's not like he's forgetting anything important..." Sometimes it's hard to remember he's not really...human. Sometimes I wonder if Vilkas has trouble remembering that as well, or if any of the others do for that matter..."Cally!" "Huh? Wah?" "Roderich's going to need the night to reboot. You can go home and I'll call you when he wakes up." "No, I'll stay with him until then..." "Your manager must really like you to let you off from work so much," he chided playfully before getting up to collect Ivan for bed. "Like he's ever really there." The sound of the door swinging shut led to a silence that I knew all too well since my parents had left... I wonder where I'd be now if I were still alone. YenKin and Mavi...Lin and Mal...Vilkas-of all people-and even Felicity. If we never met Gilbert, Arthur or Ivan and if Roderich hadn't come along...My ohana...My family...I draped the other blanket over him with a dim smile and slumped back into the chair by the computer, a heavy drowsiness weighing my eyelids down on me. "Goodnight Roderich..."

A swift shake of my shoulders wrenched me from sleep and I found myself staring up at a pair of dark chocolate looking eyes behind square framed glasses. For whatever reason, the very first thing from my mouth was, "Matthew...?" But no. The Canadian's eyes were an alluring violet color and the firm, perfected German accent concluded that I was delusional. "Wer bist du." I almost laughed aloud, having believed that Matthew would be so bold as to wake me in such a rude manner. " I couldn't help but smile and cast a weary glance at the clock on the computer monitor. 3:22 AM. "Sprechen," he ordered. "Good morning Roderich...I doubt you remember me, but my name is Caligo Valgus."

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><p>Sprechen-German: Speak.<p>

Wer bist du-German: Who are you


	13. Single's Awareness Day

OK! Gawd! I FINALLY got this one up and YES, I KNOW it's past Valentine's Day but Y'KNOW WHAT?

I was busy.

Yeah, that's about it really.

Hey. Being a Senior ain't all fun and games, y'know?

So hope you all enjoy this one, and the next chapter is going to be more OCcentric cuz they need some luv too xP

**DISCLAIMER ON HETALIA**

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><p><strong>~Singles Awareness Day!~<strong>

"Get that one aunty! Nyah!" The little girl bounced up and down, trying desperately to reach the box on the high shelf. "I believe your niece needs your attention." "Don't sound so smug Roderich," the woman muttered back, her own fingers just barely grazing the edge of the box of mockery. "Ugh...This is ridiculous!" "Help us M'ster Roderich! You're tall!" "Yes, yes. Get off the counter first." I handed her the box of dark baker's chocolate and sighed, "I will never understand the American obsession with chocolate..." "Oh don't be so dramatic...Don't you like chocolate cake?" "Y-Yes, but I am not a pig like Alfred!" Ryuu pouted at the mention of the American but didn't say anything.

"Aunty," she huffed, tugging on her shirt. This child was impatient..."Alright honey. Go fill the pot with water and we'll start making your presents." "Is _THAT_ what this is about?" "Don't laaaugh!" Caligo glared at me slightly and ran after her niece who had ran down the hall to the bathroom...Probably to get water from the shower. "Geeze Roderich...!" "I wasn't aware that she was making a gift...I presume that's why Alfred isn't the one babysitting her today?" "Guess so. But I did offer since I don't see her that often...I wonder what he's doing with his day off?" "Gallivanting around town with Arthur, I'm sure." "Aunty!" "Turn off the shower and bring the pot back here Ryuu!" At least she stopped her in time..."What are you proposing to make for Alfred, Ryuu?" "Chocolates! And I'm gonna shape 'um like bunnies too!" "Ought to be interesting..." "What was that Roderich?" "Nothing Caligo." _Although your cooking absolutely **terrifies** me..._

Somehow, I'm almost certain that she heard me with the use of her "dark lord" powers or whatever her friends call it...

Half an hour later, they put a tray of chocolate moulds on the table by a fan to cool and Caligo began the process of cleaning her chocolate coated niece. "Ryuu, stop trying to eat yourself." "But I taste so yummy!" "Fine," she sighed. "Get whatever you can and we'll wipe the rest off after." "You're too kind to that child, honestly." Caligo barely spared me a second glance as she slumped over the arm of the couch like a towel. "Oh shut it...I took psychology. I know the deal."

Um...What?

"Psychology aside...I honestly think that-" "Hey! Piano priss! I hear you in there!" "Oh god no..."

Only one person could hammer at the door as obnoxiously as this..."The awesome me needs a place to crash for the day!" "Crap," she hissed. "I'll get it," Ryuu chirped, tiny hands speckled with chocolate. "Yeah! Open the door small fry!"

...

She promptly locked the deadbolt and walked away. "Stupid kid!" "GO HOME GIL! God, my neighbors are going to END me if he doesn't go away soon..." "Just let him in...He's not going to leave, you know that." I didn't bother to have her repeat what I could only assume was a string of words she'd rather not have Ryuu hear as she opened the door and let in the nagging Prussian. "About time! The awesome me smells chocolate." "Gil, you eat those and I'll-"

**BAM!**

"Mein...gott...! Who gave short stuff a frying pan!" "They're not for you!" "You little..." "Aunty," the child shrieked, "Mr. Belshitz is trying to steal my candy!" "**GILBERT!**" This place is nothing short of a mad house...About five minutes and a swift kick to his ass later, Gilbert joined me on the couch in the living room as Caligo and Ryuu began to pack her chocolates. "So what's the big deal with today?" "Today is Valentine's day and Ryuu wanted to make chocolates for her family. Hence her beating you with a frying pan." "But that happens all the time!" "...This is true." Honestly, it wasn't every day he made a valid point!

"Hey, Gil. Gonna have to kick you out now since we gotta find Al." "You can't kick the awesome me out!" "One: I just literally kicked you out of my kitchen not too long ago. Two: I am _**NOT**_ leaving you **_ALONE_** in _**MY APARTMENT**_!" "But Mal's in school and his house is so laaaame," he groaned in his usual melodramatic fashion. "Don't worry Caligo, I'll watch him." Both of them gaped at my suggestion as if I'd grown a second head..."If you could close your mouth, Cally, I do believe you have some business to attend to." "Are you sure Roderich," she asked, casting a wary glance at Gilbert. "I'm certain. We will simply talk while you're gone." "Well...Ok, I guess...Play nice boys. I'll be home in an hour or so." "Oh, don't rush on our behalf Cally," Gilbert sneered, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

**~Outside~**

"Aunt Cally?" "Yes honey?" "Are you sure it's a good idea to leave M'ster Roderich alone with M'ster Beilschmit in the apartment?" She had a point..."I-I'll worry about that later. I'm sure Roderich can handle Gilbert himself...!"

**~Alfred's P.O.V.~**

"Well that was an eventful morning!" "I am **_NEVER_** taking you to IHOP again," England muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Wah-How was I supposed to know I couldn't do that with whipped cream?" "Git! You're such a pig!" "Come on Iggy! Even YOU have to admit getting kicked out for THAT was overreacting." Iggy just shook his head again and kept walking. It was kinda funny to watch him walk ahead of me...And still fall behind.

"Cheer up Arthur! You can always go with Lin," I laughed and almost immediately he started screaming random things or curses or whatever Brits do when they're pissed. Some poor bastard pulled up beside us and honked twice, earning a, "What the bloody hell do you want!" "M-M'ster Arthur...?"

Oh shit...

"E-Eh? Ryuu! Erm...Pretend you didn't hear that!" "Nice one, Iggy," I muttered, picking her up as she cautiously edged out of the car. "Arthur's not mad at you...We were just talking is all, ok?" "Ok Al..." "B-But...I...He..!" "Let it go Arthur...I'll give you a ride back to Lin's," Cally sighed, peeking out of the window. "Did you have fun with Aunt Cally today?" "Uhuh! I made stuff for momma and papa too," she sang, clutching the small red boxes in her arms tightly. "Let's go inside and put it in the fridge so they don't melt." "Ok! Bye aunty! Bye M'ster Arthur!" I could hear him mutter a "He used to be cute like that...!" and Caligo a "Shut up Arthur..." before I shut the door and set Ryuu down. She scampered off to the kitchen to put away two of the boxes when I saw a third sitting on the counter top. "Did you forget to give that to aunt Cally?" "No, she didn't want any..." Climbing up onto one of the chairs, she picked up the box and thrust it toward me with a smile on her face. "It's for you!" "Me...?" "Uhuh!" Hesitantly opening the box, an army of tiny inch long rabbit shaped chocolates, each with a little red eye peered up at me from the inside. "Happy Valentine's Day Alfred," she giggled, hugging my arm now. "Momma says ich liebe dich and papa says aishiteru, so I'll just say I love you!" "I...Thanks Ryuu..."

**~Arthur's P.O.V.~**

"Eh...Again, I apologize for the outburst..." "It's cool Arthur. Just...Try to relax man. You might hurt yourself." Says the one who throws frying pans whenever Prussia makes a wrong move..."Thank you for the ride." "No problem. I figured I could see Lin on Singles Awareness Day while I was out here," she laughed. "I thought it was Valentine's Day?" "Well, yeah, but if you're single it's S.A.D." It didn't seem very funny but she was still smiling. I guess being alone wasn't a big deal to her...

Dragging her feet along up to the door, she suddenly stopped and shot an odd look just over her shoulder toward the driveway. "Huh...Val's car is here..." "Is that bad?" "No. It's odd though," she murmured, rapping on the door with her knuckles. The door opened not a second later and Lin stood there with a deadly-almost psychotic-look on her face before grabbing Caligo by her shirt collar and shaking...Violently. "Cal...you have _GOT_ to get those idiots out of my house...!" "Wo-woaw! Ca-alm down Lin! Stop sha-aking me!" Lin froze suddenly and hung her head, resting it on the brunette's small shoulders with an exasperated sigh. "What's the matter Lin?" "You guys just have to see it," she muttered, dragging us both inside. Already, I could hear distressed whining and two discernible male voices. Vilkas and YenKin sat on opposite ends of the crème colored couch in the living room, the girl known as Felicity idly playing with the Chinese boy's hair as they argued.

"I'm guessing one of them is the problem...?" "No! Hell no! I refuse!" "It's your fault this is even an issue..." "Screw that! Call your damn lawyer right now!" "What the hell...?" "They're having a lover's spat apparently..." "To hell with that!" "I WANT A DIVORCE," they both suddenly screamed before glaring at each other.

...

"What...the...HELL," Caligo suddenly screamed, breaking the silence. "I get custody of Ivan." "Fine! Then I want this month's rent back from my room!" "Nope." "**WHAT!**" YenKin jumped up from the couch, the usually quiet lad fuming with rage while Vilkas sat back with an almost bored look on his face. "It's been going on since this morning," Lin groaned, bashing her head against the wall. "Why did you bring them here Felicity?" "I figured Lin could talk some sense into them! Or at least beat some into Vilkas!" In Felicity's defense, the latter could very well happen if Lin ever felt like it...

"Cally...Shut them up at least...!" Caligo hadn't stopped gaping at the pair who were now on the subject of whatever finances they might actually have..."I don't even know how you pay for your half of the bills. Honestly! I bet you'd be screwed without my money," Yen huffed. "Who said you were walking away with money?" "The hell is that supposed to mean?" "Did you even read the fine print in our divorce papers Yenny?" "What did you do!" "It's simple," the taller boy sighed, leaning back and putting his feet up on the table, only to be beamed in the face with Lin's shoe. "Feet **OFF** my damn table."

"Yes honey..." "You were cheating on me with LIN?" "Oh man, shit just got real," Felicity muttered and Lin stormed-more like RAN-out of the room, shouting, "Leave me out of this insanity! You two belong in an asylum!"

**~At Yen's Appartment~**

A strange chill suddenly shook Kiku to the bone as he mixed the curry and looked at the clock. "I have the strongest feeling that something is amiss with Yen-San..." "Probably cuz he's been having an affair with me." "V-Vilkas-San? Where did you come from?" Vilkas just flashed the Japanese man his best-and really, no one is better than him at this-troll face before disappearing out the window again like a creep. "But...we are on the 3rd floor..." Vilkas' words finally resonating with him, he grabs his phone.

_"Yen-san! Tell me it isn't true! What is this about an affair with Vilkas?_

_-Kiku"_

It was only after that text was sent that he also realized that he'd just confirmed his housewife status...

**~Lin's House~**

YenKin's phone rang suddenly and immediately, he blanched at the sight of the screen before spinning around to snap at Vilkas. "WHAT DID YOU TELL KIKU?" That boy Vilkas was certainly talented in the art of trolling people...YenKin turned to us with a sympathetic look, catching us right as we were about to slip out of the room and we froze. "Cally! He can't do that, right?" "Er..." "Well? Answer the man!" She shot me a dirty look in response that clearly stated "I'm  
>kicking your arse when this is over".<p>

"Psh, Cal's on **_MY_** side. Right?" "What? You can't cheat on me **AND** take my money!" "Read the fine print," he declared with an air of arrogance before thrusting a stack of papers into the other boy's face. "Hey! You're supposed to give me this so my lawyer can make changes!" "No I don't." "Cal!" "Alright, fine. Let me ask this," she said, straightening suddenly. This question would be the destroyer of worlds..."Who's the man in this relationship?" "That's silly, it's **ME!**"

...

And we are now BACK to the intense glaring...

"I make the most money since I actually have a JOB!" "But who's gonna have it all by the time this is over?" "Or I could file to take YOUR money away!" The smirk on his face dropped as Caligo chimed in with a smirk that foreshadowed a future ass-kicking, "Or I could just kick the shit outta you both and take the money myself?" "N-No thanks! We can work this out, right, honey?" "R-Right," Vilkas stuttered, making sure to look anywhere but at Caligo. I guess she wasn't joking then... "So how much longer is everyone going to have to tolerate this?" "E-Easy Cal...it's just a joke, right Vilkas? Haha!" "Hn..." Arrogant as it sounded, the boy shied away from the scary ass fu-*ahem* terrorizing aura about his friend, suggesting that they both knew what she was capable of. "We've got all the terms and everything settled. Don't worry." "Great then," she chirped with a pleasant smile and clapped her hands together before scowling again. "Cuz now I gotta go home and make sure Roderich and Gilbert-mostly Gil, but you can never be too sure y'know-didn't destroy my apartment or at LEAST get me kicked out."

...

"In which case, I might be back." "Good luck Cal!" Because we certainly didn't want that, now did we? Unfortunately, the second she was gone, "This is all your fault man..." "Suffer."

**~Caligo's Apartment~**

Everything was still intact by the time she'd gotten back. There weren't any emergency crews or the SWAT team busting down her door so it was safe to assume that everything was alright, right?

The arguing coming from inside the room begged to differ, however.

"Hey guys, I'm home..." "Just in time to get this ruffian out of the house!" "Hey! I was the one who divorced YOU! Don't go making it sound like this was YOUR awesome idea!"

...

"Just walk away Cally...Just walk away," she murmured, backing out of the apartment in an exasperated fashion.

**"Screw Valentine's Day!"**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Ich liebe dich- (German) I love you

Aishiteru- (Japanese) I love you

Ryuu's mother is German (was thinking Prussian but idk man) and her father Yuki is Japanese like Caligo. And yes, the other story I mean it! should explain why Ryuu will be consistently saying I love you to Alfred so yeah.

And Vilkas and YenKin were only joking about their relationship because they're both hard core cynics about Valentine's Day...for the most part. They just decided they should troll friend relationships that day xP


	14. Not-so-fond Memories

Hetalia units: Not-so-fond Memories  
>OC-centric chapter of them at school. Nosy units everywhere!<p>

As any other day would begin, Gilbert was simply lazing about on the couch waiting for Mal to wake up and make him breakfast before doing whatever the hell humans did from day to day. The same thing as always really.

But this was Mal's house. So what happens next is-

**_"SPRING CLEANING~!"_**

Typical.

"...You must be high if you think I'm getting up to help you clean." "Aw, c'mon Gilbert! It's an adventure to clean up the house! You never know what you might find," the male replied cheerfully. Even if he was bored out of his skull, nothing would make him get up to clean unless- "But I've got all these awesome tapes and pictures of us from when we were kids!" The greatest way to embarrass them all just so happened to come along. Gilbert smirked like the creep that he was and sat up, almost launching Gilbird off his chest. "Alright, sure. I'll lend you a hand." "Great! Cuz there's tons to do and I got us more help!" "Who?"

He really didn't need to ask again when he heard something hammer violently at the door. Of course he'd get his friends to come over SOMEHOW. "Cooooomiiiing~," he sang, prancing over to let them in. Gilbert could already see faces snickering in the window and, as if on cue, YenKin appeared in the doorway with a smug look on his face.

"Told you he flew." "Whaaaat? I don't fly!" "Where's the food you promised Pepe," Vilkas asked with casual bluntness before shoving past Mal and into the house as Ivan and Chibitalia dispersed into the room to wreak havoc. "We're gonna order pizza after we do some cleaning!" "...Clever girl." "I'm not a girl!" "Pepes don't have a gender, remember Vil?" "Oh yeah..." Mal flailed around a bit more before being dragged off to the back of the house to get him to actually start the cleaning they were supposedly here for, and a few other guests were finally able to enter the house.

"Having yet another gender debate," Arthur questioned warily, as if their attention would suddenly be turned onto them. "Lookin that way. Hey, how'd they rope you into coming, little master?" Roderich glowered at him for the remark and Kiku immediately stepped in, sensing the rising tension. "We were all a little curious to see how they were when they were younger. Yen-San has told me much about their "kawaii kon" adventures." "The kon discussion's gonna have to wait a bit Kiku. Pepe's got us sorting through his DVDs," Yen called as he dragged out a large box filled with disks and casset tapes into the living room. "Yenny, we're taking the books now!" "Coming Lin!"

About two hours and a living room full of books, papers and CDs later, the pizza was finally ordered and arrived with just five minutes to spare. "Damn," Vilkas muttered as the delivery guy left, counting his money. "I thought he'd get lost for sure." "Val, stop trying to scam the delivery guys out of their money for Kami's sake." "You just think he's hot." Caligo stood there, slightly red in the face and gritted teeth. "Dude was how many years younger than us?!" "Oh relax Cal! He was just joking!" Mal made the fatal error if actually touching her which almost resulted in a foot to his gut if his offering of a can of Dr. Pepper hadn't appeased her thirst for blood...soda.

"Hey Pepe," Gilbert called, obviously getting nosy and poking through the heaps of things they were still sorting through. "I'm not a-" "Denial," Vilkas sighed as if it were routine. The Prussian was quick to snatch up a black hard cover book with wispy gold writing on it and opened it randomly to the first page it would turned to. "What's this?" "Oh hey, that's my yearbook! What year is that?.." "Our senior year, Pepe. When the design wasn't so lame ass." "Cuz your background design got picked that year," Mavi quickly remarked with a smug looking grin that made Yen frown.

"So just a bunch of writing and pictures? That's not as awesome as I thought it would be..." Roderich snatched the book from Gilbert's hands with a smug smile similar to Mavi's as he flipped through the glossy pages. "A picture is worth a thousand words Gilbert."

Or perhaps just silence.

Both the Austrian and Prussian were suddenly enthralled in the menagerie of pictures in the book, though the others had no idea which ones. "Mal...You guys had some hot chicks back in your school," Gilbert screamed as Roderich turned the page and Kiku practically stood on the tips of his toes to see until it was lowered slightly. Gilbert suddenly threw Mavi a lecherous smirk when he finally looked up from the book before he was smacked in the face by a pouting Italy in her arms. "You should wear things like this more often kazchen!" "Go to hell Gilbert!" Normally, he would've been smacked at least six times for a comment like that but by the looks of it, pizza had saved his skull the trauma. "I must admit...You all look remarkably different in these pictures. How many years has it been, Yen-San?"

YenKin stopped his devouring-of-worlds eating spree and thought for a moment while Vilkas took the chance to pick a piece of pizza right off his plate. "I think...five or six years, give or take." "Looks like you guys took a step or two down since then."

That time, Gilbert was less than lucky at avoiding a beating. Mal, surprisingly, rolled his eyes while rubbing his sore fist. "There was less to worry about when we were teenagers." The room suddenly filled with murmurs of agreement and an awkward air that even Gilbert couldn't miss. Obviously there was some somber memory behind this yearbook…

Roderich cleared his throat the second Gilbert was about to open his mouth again, not trusting the Prussian to watch his own tongue when the obnoxious clatter of tapes falling to the ground brought chibi Feliciano and Ivan buried under a mound of casset tapes. "Otets! What is?" "Hm?" "Hey! That's from when I got that camcorder," Mal yelled excitedly, plucking the tape from Ivan's tiny hands. "I remember that dinky thing," Caligo muttered, "which tape is it?"

Mal flipped the tape over several times to several different angles but still looked confused as ever when he gave her a shrug. "All it says is May 13, 2009." YenKin suddenly choked on his soda when everyone turned his way before giving Vilkas and Caligo a bug eyed look of sheer horror. "Dude..! Don't you guys remember?! That was Markus Rodell's senior grad party!" "Markus had a party? I thought it was for Leena?" "No. Leena was the one who crashed it, remember," Mavi hissed from behind the rim of her soda can. "What the bloody hell are you all talking about?"

"Enough chitchat! Just play the damn tape!" Gilbert snatched it out of Mal's hand and proceeded to shove it into the VCR on the shelf below the TV, button mashing the poor device. "Why won't it play?!" No one said anything as little Italy walked up to the TV set and pressed the power button...Gilbert decided to smack himself that time.

_**~Video~**_

"Oh Yenny~! Smile for the camera!" "Augh! Back off you creepy camera wielding Pepe!" A black blur shot across the screen while a creepy laughter was caught in the background and the camera suddenly focused on a busty blonde with a tight, bouncy ponytail and the unmistakably gangsta Lin in a plaid jacket with a rose patterned dry fit t-shirt. A pair of black framed sunglasses (much like the pair she wore presently) blocked her eyes but she held an obvious laid back smile on her face that made her seem just too cool for anything.

YenKin, with all his awkward emo black clothes, was actually ducking behind the girl in bell bottom jeans and a white vest standing next to the tallest boy anyone had ever seen in tan cargo shorts and a red t-shirt. Wavy black locks and slicked back chestnut hair framed the respective faces of the two, though their pissed off/irritated expressions easily identified them as Caligo and Vilkas.

(Gilbert and the others were completely dumbstruck, Ivan was now hugging Vilkas's leg and squealing about "how cool otets looks" while no one even saw Roderich's reaction...)

"Aw, lighten up you guys! We got invited to the party of the year!" "No, YOU got invited," Caligo muttered with a glare to the cameraman. "But Markus said you could come!" "Yeah, yeah...We can't just leave you alone if Leena's there too." "Why do you hate her Vil?" "Cuz she's a creepy boy eating stalker and the stalker part is MY job." Vilkas' face was filled with pure distain toward the aforementioned girl and there was no helping Caligo's attitude on the subject either. The camera suddenly turned to Mal, wearing a pair of cheap plastic 2009 shaped glasses that looked painfully awkward on his face, "Thank you Caligo and Vilkas for your ever charming remarks. And now, TO THE PARTY!"

Sarcastically spoken, no one would've guessed that the graduation party would be a writhing mess of teenagers moshing in small areas to the blaring music and drinking until they lost all sense of reality. In fact, they wouldn't have guessed that the party would even still be on considering Mr. and Mrs. Rodell were still at home. "Oh, Mal! Fancy seeing you here!" "Heya Leena! How's it going," Mal chirped happily above the blaring music and focused the camera on a rosy cheeked dirty blonde girl in a peach colored bikini and holding a couple of beers. "Whats with all the clothes," she asked in a painfully flirtatious manner before handing one of the drinks to him.

"Didnt figure on going swimming, y'know? I don't drink by the way, hehe." "Aw, c'mon, silly! It's a party!" "Hey Pepe! They have a pool table!" "Oh sweet! Really?!" The camera flipped and turned awkwardly for a few minutes before refocusing on Lin leaning against a pool stick and Mavi proceeding to nail the guy behind her in the rear whilst making a shot. "Alright! Corner pocket," she announced with a grin as the boy hit the floor. It went on like this for about 20 more minutes or so before Mavi left for some reason and the camera picked up the slightest whisper from behind it.

"Where's Caligo and Vil?" The picture cut out with a burst of static for a moment before switching back to a scene of two girls squaring off by a pool and Mal (assuming he was still the one behind the camera) pushing his way through the crowd of mostly drunk teenagers riling up the fighters. "Oh shit man..." "What? What is it?" "I found Mavi..." YenKin's face went pale as he spoke and Lin looked like she was already on edge and the fight was only just getting started.

"Bitch please! That THING is a man stealing-" "Says the stereotypical cheerleader going after the school's quarterback! So shut it you tramp!" "C-Cal! Its ok, let's just go..!" Leena just gave her a cocky smirk and Caligo growled like some sort of feral animal with looks that should have made her drop dead. ("Oh! Cat fight!" "Shut up Gil!") "Why not let Mal decide then?" "WHAT," he suddenly shouted. The camera tumbled around for a few minutes while he screamed random things before it focused in on YenKin's face as he shook Mal senseless. "Pepe you dense idiot," he hissed, "Leena's been flirting with you for the past year!" "H-Haha! No way man! She's just a kid!"

They hardly noticed the gathered crowd go quiet and the camera, although upside down now, caught the stunned expression of the young girl and better yet, her pissed off looking brother. "You player! You said you liked me," she stuttered as if she were about to cry. "What's with you, man? Think just cuz you're the school quarterback you can just-" YenKin's black jacket suddenly blocked the camera and Mal, his voice calm yet somehow still filled with fear as he spoke, "Hey, be cool Markus. This is just a little misunderstanding..." "Don't tell me to be cool you emo-" "Hey! That's totally uncalled for, Markus! Look, I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings but I just didn't see it. She's cool and all but I don't like Leena like that..."

Everything was silent for a moment as if the tension had passed until Markus's voice came out as a low, venomous hiss. "I think you and your friends should leave. Scram before things get ugly." "Markus, seriously. I-" "Learn to leave it where it is, Mal...You can't be everyone's friend."

("Почему говорят, что отец?" "Later, Ivan...")

The screen went black save for some whispers in the background before it all became white noise...

**-Normal-**

The others weren't sure what to say to the young adults now milling about the kitchen, practically devoid of emotion as Chibitalia shut off the VCR and TV.

"So what the heck happened back there..?" "Markus and I never spoke again after that," Mal simply stated as if the turn of events had no effect on him whatsoever. Then again, it HAD been years since that day...

"Mavi-chan is a good ragazza," Feliciano purred as he hugged the blonde's leg in an overly affectionate manner. "You all seem to have very drastic personality changes from then on though," Kiku stated, noting the white jacket that YenKin currently wore rather than the skull printed black one in the video and the much more masculine and serious dress of his friends. "Like we said," Lin muttered, taking a large sip of her soda, "There was less to worry about as teenagers." "Then what was it that changed when you all grew up?"

"The circumstances of living," was the only answer they got out of any of them once Mal had picked up the tape, tossed it to Lin who proceeded to crack it in half and tossed it to Caligo and Mavi who held open the tin lid as it fell into the trash can.

"You guys go on if you like. I think I can handle the cleaning from here~" "Are you sure, Mal? You know most of us really don't have anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon, right?..." "Yenny old buddy, you REALLY need to get a social life," he retorted, throwing his friend a good ways off of the subject, "But yeah, I'm sure~. Don't worry about me, honest!"

Vilkas was the first to go, scooping up Ivan and looking a little more than put off if one looked closely at the way his eyes narrowed. Caligo and Roderich followed, the former having been the Russian boy's ride to Mal's house in the first place and Lin soon followed with Arthur. Mavi walked home with Chibitalia in hand, leaving YenKin along with Kiku stayed back to help their friend clean up the mess.

"Yen-san, Mal-san...if you do not mind my saying so, you both seem very...changed, from your younger selves in that video." "Yeah. What happened with you and that unawesome stalker chick and her brother?" "You mean Leena and Markus? We just stopped hanging out and whatnot," he murmured before turning and smiling at Gilbert, "And thanks to that, I got a chance to get closer to my real best friend, right Yenny~?"

He gave the other boy a friendly-maybe a little too touchy feely-nudge with his elbow and leered only slightly in the most innocent manner there could be. "Paper thin, Pepe. Paper thin~" Even though he looked hurt, Mal was actually laughing and YenKin couldn't suppress a grin. 'I guess these humans can be pretty awesome after all,' Gilbert thought with his signature laugh, for once, leaving things as it was and watching the two enjoy each other's company.


	15. Compromises

Hetalia Units: Compromise

Late birthday chapter for Yenny and myself, one for Mavi-channy to come~

I know it's been a while since I updated but here it is! I'm already working on the chapter after and the units are REALLY starting to get nosy when their human friends would really just rather they left them alone for a while...

Of course, we all know that just makes some people even more curious.

* * *

><p><strong>~Kiku's P.O.V~<strong>

YenKin and Caligo sat nervously in the back seat of the latter's small Toyota, blindfolds still secure over their eyes as Austria pulled into the fairly crowded parking lot of a distant shopping center-if such a small place could be called that-and parked. "Ok that car ride was really long. Can we _PLEASE_ take these things off now," the young lady whined as she fiddled with her seat belt. She was just about to pull the dark piece of fabric off, regardless of the answer to her question when Austria opened the door and caught her hands before she could free herself. "You'll ruin the surprise if you do, madchen~" The faintest blush crept over her cheeks at his words but it didn't keep her from getting angrier. "Roderich, if you don't take this thing off of my face, I'm going to bite yours." Ignoring the odd threat, he pulled her from the car with relative ease as I did the same for YenKin.

"Come on, Kiku. Just tell us what's going on already. You're starting to make me a little nervous..." "Do not worry, Yen-san. I promise it will be worth the wait." "I swear, if this is some sort of prank," Caligo warned, putting up only a mild fight seeing as the Austrian was more than capable of overpowering her. 'Caligo-san is strong, but she is quite lucky that Austria-san has such a kind and gentle disposition despite his sternness...'

Said girl practically jumped out of her skin the moment he opened the door and the cold air from inside caught us all off guard as we entered the building. "Oh god...**CALLY! THEY'RE GONNA KILL US IN A MEAT FREEZER!**" "W-What..?!" "What the hell Yenny?" Hearing Mavi's voice only made him more skittish and it took Vilkas himself just to keep YenKin from bolting into a pole. "Guys? What the hell's going on?" Caligo let out a slight hiss as the cold air hit her face when the blindfold was removed and looked around at all of their friends lined up just beyond the entrance to the ice skating rink, smiling and holding out a pair of ice skates for them. "G-Guys..?"

"_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALIGO AND YENKIN~!**_"

"Woaw! This is crazy awesome, but...you DO know it's not my birthday yet, right?.." "And mine was about a week ago..." "Of course we know, sillies," Felicity chirped, already taking YenKin's hand and slowly dragging him to the arcade portion of the ice rink. Another brunette girl, I believe her name was Donna Carmine, walked up to the still shocked Caligo and shoved the skates into her hands along with a pair of thick army green socks. "Give it a whirl, Cal~ Vilkas said he rented out the entire place for the two of you!" "What- how!?" "Shut up and go skate," said Russian boy groaned and clapped a rough hand on her shoulder, causing her to wince before shoving her toward the bleachers at the edge of the rink to lace up her skates.

"Anyone wanna skate with me?" "Sorry Cal...it's not that we don't WANT to...It's just...not our thing," another girl, Amelia, finished lamely. Perhaps Caligo thought she was subtle with her displeasure and, perhaps to everyone else, she was as she shrugged and departed onto the ice by herself. "I wonder if Yen-san is playing video games?" "What else would a boy do in an arcade?" Even I couldn't help a chuckle at that, for he had a valid point. YenKin was a most admirable gamer and this proved to be more than true when we saw him in the arcade shooting zombies in Carnevil, crushing Mal in a game of Street Fighter and somehow putting quarters into the DDR machine next to Felicity all at the same time. "It's still amazing to me how that boy can hold down a solid job," Austria murmured with an odd expression. "Yen-san knows his limits...But it still doesn't hurt to keep an eye on him~" Wouldn't want him to miss work because of yet another video game induced coma, that was certain.

Perhaps twenty minutes or so into YenKin's gaming spree, an odd, almost snake like laugh that sounded quite a bit like Prussia's drifted toward my ears from behind us on the ice rink. For the briefest moment, I believed it was Caligo until a rather feminine shriek could be heard as well and not only I, but Austria as well had turned away from the intense gaming spree to see two boys on the ice with her. "Harvey, you jerk," she screamed, flailing as ice came flying out of the end of her shirt. "Really Harvey?..." "Aw suck it up, you girls! I'm just having some fun!" Something about this seemed awfully familiar to me-and perhaps to Austria as well-when Caligo thrust her knee into the offending boy's stomach and the blonde held her gently by the shoulders before she could do him any more bodily harm.

"Austria-san, do you happen to know who those two are?" An uneasy frown overtook his features as the blonde took a very protective grasp on Caligo and the blush that spread across her cheeks as he did so did nothing to help his attitude toward to them. Catching himself and masking his displeasure, he huffed, "Ja. I know the two rather well in regards to Caligo. The one she just hit is Harvey Staton and the boy holding her now is William Einscoff..." The young man known as William looked, well, just that. A young man rather than a boy. Just the way he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and the irritated look he cast toward the other young man was oddly similar to the look of distaste Austria currently held. For a moment, I debated whether or not I should ask Caligo to hold a frying pan and hit the red head who had offended her.

"So are you just gonna stand there?" The two of us had probably looked very obviously startled by Vilkas who had awkwardly enough managed to creep up on us and nodded his head toward the three on the ice before looking at Austria again. "I beg your pardon?" "Are you just gonna stand there," he asked again before holding out a pair of skates, "Or are you going to do something about it?" I could sense the unease between the two without even trying and the situation didn't seem to get any better as Austria got even tenser than before. "I don't know what you're talking about Herr Krev. You'll have to be more specific." "I think you just have to be a little more honest with yourself."

Without another word, the skates were forced into his hands and Vilkas went back to trying-and failing-to get YenKin to share the arcade machine. My attention went back to my current company quite quickly but by then he was already removing his boots in favor of the ice skates. "Austria-san, not to be rude, but do you even know _how_ to skate?" "Couldn't hurt to try, right," he muttered with absolute uncertainty. I had the strongest feeling that by the time this was over, he and his pride would have the same number of aches and bruises...

"Hey, someone's actually gonna come out to join me~?" Caligo's small and now pale hands gripped the off-white walls of the rink as she leaned over. Her cheeks were just the slightest bit red from the cold and having literally gone circles around her two friends who had apparently retreated from the ice to warm up.

"Do you even know ihow/i to skate, Roderich?" Neither of us were sure if that was supposed to be an insult or not, but it raised a good point: he didn't, and being the brilliant man that he was, he had decided to go and find out. Without another word, he shakily got up onto his feet, walked in the most dignified manner allotted by the footwear to the ice...and proceeded to slip and land on his rear. Prussia seemed to have an acute sense of when Austria was about to, for lack of a better term, make a total ass of himself because a camera flash blinded all three of us at that very moment.

"Kesesese! The little master learned a new trick!" "Gilbert, you ass!" "Uncle Roderich swore!" Ryuu practically screamed it as she ran over to her aunt who deftly swept her up in her arms before the girl's tiny feet could touch the ice and put a finger over her lips. "Honey, your vatti swears far more than he should, especially around you. We can let this one slide for Uncle Roderich, ja?" "Ja~," she giggled cutely before she was set loose upon the arcade once more. She took little Ivan's hand and quickly dragged him to the DDR machine where little Italy was frantically jumping up and down on one of the lit up arrows on the dance pad, not quite knowing what he was doing. Caligo hastily pulled Austria to his feet while Prussia continued to "run his mouth" as Caligo would say. "Gilbert," she suddenly roared with such fierceness that made Austria jump even though he wasn't the target of her rage, "Shut your unending trap! I highly doubt you can skate any better than him!"

"You're too soft on the little master, kazchen. Besides! I'm way too awesome to fail at anything," he tsked, only to be smacked upside the head by Vilkas once again. "You gonna come in and have some of your cake? Yenny's waiting on ya to blow the candles...out." Caligo gave him a look...what kind of look, even I couldn't tell, but it was definitely a "look" of some sort... "Wonderful Val...I'll be right in, ok?"

He gave a curt nod in response, not even cracking a smile as one probably would on such an occasion. She let go of Austria hands (much to his relief or displeasure, I honestly couldn't tell) and made her way off the ice to a room next to the arcade where everyone had somehow relocated to without our knowing. "Might as well get some cake for all this trouble, right? Kesesese!" "Be more respectful! It's their party, not yours, dumkoph," Austria hissed as he stumbled off the ice and rid himself of the troublesome skates in favor of his boots.

One corner of the room was awkwardly quiet with only a few murmurs here and there and it seemed even Prussia noticed the more somber atmosphere that hung around our usual group of human friends. Yuki Valgus came out carrying Ryuu who had insisted on lighting the candles-somehow convincing her father that giving a 9-year-old a lighter was a good idea-for her aunt and uncle Yenny. Everyone had begun to sing happy birthday the second she managed to light them all (which was surprisingly fast!) so it seemed only right that we did the same, but the awkwardness in it all was quite obvious. Mavi and Mal hung back on either side of YenKin, Lin and Vilkas doing the same for Caligo as their friends continued to go on and you could tell they all did their best to look excited.

_Everyone but YenKin._

His face remained on its stunned expression, eyes just a little wider than normal as he stared down at the mass of flaming candles in a manner that could only be described as abnormal. In the midst of the celebrating, his hand slid over to Caligo's and touched it ever so slightly. His expression never wavered as he did so and I already knew that it would remain that way for the rest of the day... Instead of her usual violent response that one would normally expect for such a transgression of her personal space, she boldly took his hand and interlocked their fingers in a tight embrace as if steeling themselves to face some sort of unspeakable horror together.

"Make a wish," Mavi said with a sympathetic smile of sorts as they squeezed each others hands for reassurance and snuffed the candles out with one tremendous breath between the two of them. Everyone clapped and cheered happily and although they both kept a smile on their faces, they never released the others hand.

"So what did you two lovebirds wish for," Prussia suddenly blurted out as he appeared behind them, an arm around each of their shoulders and his usual grinning face. "Don't tell him aunty," Ryuu suddenly yelled loudly as she attached herself to Caligo's leg and tugging at her pants, "otherwise it won't come true!" "You actually believe that, squirt? Keses-ACK!" Her father had a hand over his face, middle and ring fingers jammed right up Prussia's nostrils and yanked him back and away from the two with a familiarly irritated look. "So this is where Caligo gets it from," Austria murmured quietly as the burly Marine began to give the Prussian a decent neck ache. On a side note, both of the Valgus children had a rather imposing presence, despite being of full Asian descent and lacking in stature.

The party went on as what could only be assumed as usual, Prussia causing trouble, the small children causing him trouble, and England, Austria and I running around after them. Near the end, it had occurred to me through all the chaos that YenKin and Caligo had gone missing and were nowhere to be found among their friends. Immediately, alarms were going off in my mind. It wasn't like YenKin to just disappear like this... "What seems to be the problem Japan? You look as if you're about to have a heart attack!" "Austria-san, have you seen Yen-san?" Austria looked shocked at the apparent speed of which I was speaking, but we could address that at a later point in time. I didn't notice that I had run off without waiting for an answer until I was stopped by a tiny Italy, Russia and Ryuu all crowded by the entrance. "What are the three of you doing?"

"Shh," Ryuu hushed as she grabbed hold of the door handle and gently nudged it open. Italy and Russia leaned over either of her shoulders as they peeked out, pushing the others a little to get a better view while I could easily see through the small gap above them. Having a height advantage for once, I caught a clear view of our missing humans sitting on the concrete wall just outside of the building in a rather...odd fashion.  
>Leaning against the wall, Caligo had her back against the pillar and arms around YenKin's shoulders, who was practically in her lap with his face buried in her shoulder or some awkward position such as that... Neither one spoke a word but on occasion, she would stroke his hair a little and murmur something inaudible to the young man. "Do you think they'll kiss," Ryuu whispered quietly to no one in particular. Little Italy seemed to smile a tad at the mental image while I could only assume the worst, knowing the two the way that I did...(insert shudder here) "I think that would be nice~ they look happy together~" "I don't think that's a happy face, comrade..." Ryuu squealed happily when she heard the shuffle of boots and Austria was suddenly ruffling her hair affectionately. "Did you find our missing wards?" "Hey wait no! They're gonna kiss...!"<p>

The two little nations and the young girl made quite a commotion as they grabbed onto his legs and torso in hopes of keeping the Austrian from interrupting Caligo and YenKin, but-much to my relief, I would admit much later on-to no avail. Austria, holding the door wide open, let out a small sound akin to a gasp and gaped at them for the longest of time without a single word to be said. Neither of them seemed to notice that they now had an audience to whatever it was they were or were not doing or perhaps they didn't care, but they certainly didn't bother to spare us a second glance. The two of us simply stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say or do but eventually Austria found his voice.

"Caligo," he called in much too stern a voice. He really didn't like being ignored, but it wasn't really as if they gave us many more options. He opted to approach them instead, perhaps with the intent of breaking them from their odd embrace, only to stop dead in his tracks when Caligo finally looked up. I could just barely see the look that she gave him and I already knew that it defied words. There was no real way to describe it if you could see it for yourself. It was simply...a look. (And certainly not like the look from earlier on the ice.)

Then she spoke. It was almost timid sounding at first listen, but it didn't stay that way for very long. "Roderich," she murmured, "Can we go home now..?" He slouched a little-something one would think impossible of such a sophisticated and refined man-and nodded ever so slightly. "Ja..." Ryuu tugged at my pant leg and looked up as a child would, confused and perhaps even a bit worried. She was a child, but she had a sense for the mood when it came to her aunt. "Mr. Edelstein's not mad at aunty, is he?... Vati says that she's not really ever happy on her birthday..." "N-No, Ryuu-chan. He is not mad at her...Do you know why she does not like her birthdays?" "Dunno. Vati doesn't like to talk about it..."Somehow that didn't surprise me in the least.  
>"Japan. We ought to get going now." Austria waited patiently for me outside the building as I bid a hasty farewell to the children and a few passing adults before quickly hurrying out after him. "Where did they go?" "To the car. They're waiting for us now..." He spoke more evenly now, perhaps having calmed down a bit, but he still looked as confused as I was. "Did either of them say anything to you...?" A quiet sigh was all the response I had for a moment...<p>

"Nein. Not a word from Yen and nothing more than "can we go home now" from Caligo..." If I was correct when discerning his facial expression, he may have been hurt that his young ward didn't see fit to tell him when her birthday was, much less confide in him what bothered her so much about it..."Then we should not keep them waiting," I said, retrieving the keys from my pocket and leading the way back to the car. Perhaps Caligo had a spare key because they were already sitting inside the car, slumped against each other and fast asleep by the time we got there.

"They're still holding hands..." It was certainly strange, considering both enjoyed their private space, but there would be time for questions later when they were awake. The drive back to YenKin's apartment was silent save for brief, whispered conversations between Austria and myself...I would surely have to brush up on my conversational skills seeing as the both of us were still rather...awkward when we spoke.

I parked just outside the building on the street and handed the keys off to Austria before opening the back door to wake YenKin. "Yen-san," I called perhaps a little too softly, "We are back at your apartment now..." A light shake of his shoulder woke him, although he looked quite tired but he quickly became vaguely aware if his surroundings as soon as he glanced at Caligo. A small smile decorated his features for a brief moment and he gripped her hand lightly one last time before letting go. "Thanks for the ride, Roderich," he murmured as he slid out of the car and shut the door. "You're welcome YenKin…and happy birthday." His nod was just a little more than noticeable before we returned to the apartment for the night.

"Yen-san..." "What is it Kiku?" I was hesitant for a moment, but only for that short moment because curiosity had worn down my patience after such a long and silent drive home. "...Why did you behave the way you did today at the party?..." The key held still in the lock for a moment, YenKin's face obscured by his long bangs and a tense silence fell over us for a brief moment...

"I made a mistake on this day a few years back...I wasn't able to fix it and I guess I still can't." The door opened and the stagnant silence of the apartment greeted us as usual when we both went out (it was rare, but we do go out sometimes). "Wo huíláile," he called softly as he entered the living room, past a small family portrait hanging on the wall and felt for the light switch. I could recall China saying that every once in a while when he came home...

The lights came on during my musing and I realized I stood right in front of the family picture with a YenKin from his high school years sulking in the corner of it as the rest of his family smiled at the camera. An unexpected thought hit me. "Do you miss your family Yen-san?.." He sighed very audibly. "Every day, Kiku...Every day..." "Well," I started, taking the frame off the wall and going to join him on the couch, "maybe you should give them a call?"

"Can't," he stated plainly, letting his head loll to the side in order to see the photo in my hands. "Why not..?" He gave another heavy sigh..."Because all that would happen is the house phone would ring..." He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and began to scroll through the contacts list before hitting one labeled "Home" and the call button. Almost immediately, the land line in the apartment let loose it's shrill and rather obnoxious ringtone for a few moments before going to the voice mail. To my surprise, having never heard the voice mail recording before, a female voice came through:

_"Hi, you've reached the Jung residence. No one can come to the phone right now so leave your name, number and a message and we'll get back to you. Have a nice day~"_

"That's my mother's voice you just heard," he murmured, pressing the end call button and setting his phone on the empty spot on the couch. "W-Where is your family then..?" YenKin just sat there for the longest time, neither speaking nor moving as if he were lost in thought or some completely separate realm of existence. "Yen-san..? Please, answer me...You are starting to worry me again…" "Hah...it doesn't matter how hard I try...I can't remember what we were arguing about that night..." He let out a dry sort of laugh and his hand dropped to the couch between us, palm up just as he had been holding Caligo's hand earlier... "I can't remember what it was...that made me wish they were all gone...I just remember being alone..." "Yen-san..." He truly looked as if he needed someone to hold him together, or else he would fall apart...

As if on its own accord, my hand moved slowly but surely toward his until my palm hovered just above his. I must admit to hesitating, just for a moment, thinking that this might be awkward for us... "K-Kiku?.." YenKin looked at me, stunned as my hand grasped his in the same firm manner that he had with Caligo before and I gave him a look. Once again, I'm not sure what sort of look it was, but I guess it must have been a good look because he started to smile a little again. "You are not alone, Yen-san...I am here with you."

* * *

><p>I just want to make them a yaoi couple sometimes, but the pairings are totally up for debate~<p>

**~Translations~**

Wo huíláile - I'm home (Chinese)

Ja - Yes (German)

Nein - No (German)


	16. Morning WTF After

Hetalia units: Morning WTF After

~Austria's P.O.V.~

The sunlight came through the window of the small bedroom, indicating that, although it was still quite early in the morning, it was probably as good a time as any to begin the day. A sudden shift in the weight on the bed-and the weight on my chest, oddly enough-made me open my eyes in alarm, only to come dangerously close to hitting my bed mate (get your mind out of the gutter, you!) in the head with my chin as I flinched away from that mess they called hair that was currently attempting to eat my face. 'Wonderful way to wake up in the morning,' I thought to myself, although I sounded far more sarcastic than I had originally intended even in my own mind. Now to address the weight that was currently on my chest...

A soft groan and yet another shift was more than enough for me to know that there was basically someone lying down on me and judging by the hair that tried to devour my face moments ago...

"MEIN GOTT MAL!"

"What the-"

I practically threw the young man-who was surprisingly light-off the bed and came dangerously close to falling out myself as I leapt away from him and huddled in the corner of the mattress with my back against the wall. "Caligo!" Another groan from the floor and his foot that had managed to catch on the bed twitched a little as he sat up. A mess of dark hair that held an odd reddish tinge to it in the sunlight obscured half of his face but the dangerously narrowed eyes and dark hoodie loosely covering his torso told me all I needed to know that I had made a (potentially fatal) mistake.

"What the fuck Roderich..?" "C-Caligo...?" Another irritated groan. "No shit it's me...what in the fresh hell was that for goddammit..?" I was tempted to scold her for her *ahem* colorfully inappropriate language but considering that I had literally just thrown her out of her own bed, I could let it slide this time...She probably caught on and was getting her full of it now anyway.

"So why the hell are you flipping shit at god awful o'clock in the morning..?" Well, maybe scolding her a little couldn't hurt. "If you would kindly stop swearing at me for a few minutes, I'd be happy to explain myself." Crawling back into the bed like a dying person, she grunted what I could only assume was as close to "go ahead and try" as she would get for the time being. "First off, I'm not quite sure how it was we came to sleep in the same bed in the first place," I started, cautiously gauging her reaction to my statement. She barely responded with a soft grunt. "Second, that tangled mess you call hair tried to eat my face earlier so-" "Naturally you assumed I was Mal and threw me out of bed thinking something must've went horribly wrong the night before," she finished with just a pinch of sarcasm. "Well, yes. That pretty much sums it up."

Turning over to give me a lazy stare with one eye, the other obscured by the wavy locks that now framed her face, Caligo looked completely calm as she spoke. "You actually thought I was MAL? I'm insulted!" Why does pretty much everything she does around me have to be so misleading? I felt the corner of my eye twitch just a little as the stress of utter confusion with this woman started to wear down on me and quickly got out of bed. "You are impossible to read, you know that?" "Why? Did Vilkas write something on me before we left the party?"

"Was- Nein," I yelled at her, utterly frustrated. Apparently she couldn't find it in her to make any sense at 9 in the morning. An irritable huff escaped me and I turned my back to her-big mistake, by the way, but I'll explain later-as I ran my hands through my hair to straighten out the mess. "Don't you have somewhere to be today?" "Eager to get rid of me, huh," she muttered. The bed creaked softly and I knew right away that she had gotten up and out of the room in a hurry. "She's never reacted like that before," I murmured before following her. The door to the bathroom promptly shut the moment I made it to the hallway, leaving me with little to do other than prepare something for her to eat before she presumably went out.

Half an hour later, she came out looking like her usual self for the most part, grabbed her keys and walked out the door without so much as a word or even a hasty goodbye. "Perhaps that rude awakening put her in a worse mood than I thought...?" Or perhaps it was "that time of the month when it's virtually impossible to approach a woman" as Prussia so elegantly put it. Perhaps when it came to someone like Caligo, it was better to err on the safer side so I began making preparations for dinner in hopes that it would lighten the mood...and not result in my becoming an Austrian rendition of the puddle that was Harvey Staton from the day before.

~Vilkas's house: Ivan's P.O.V.~

Otets still hadn't gotten out of bed and it was almost lunch time. Sometimes he did this, but he never locked the bedroom door on me... "Otets..."

There was a loud pounding on the front door and Vlad turned his attention to it, standing still as a statue for a moment before both he and Mishka ran toward the sound. "Ivan! It's Caligo. Can you let me in?" "Da, Ms. Cally~" Vlad picked me up in his mouth by the back of my coat and lifted me up to the handle so that I could open it. Kicking her shoes off to the side where the two large dogs couldn't reach it, she came inside and picked me up before putting her phone, keys and wallet on a small shelf by the door.

"Morning Ivan. So what's this about your papa?" "Otets is still asleep and he locked his door..." She made a strange face that didn't look too happy when I told her that and I imagined that that's the face she made when I called her earlier...

-1 hour earlier-

Caligo had just shut the door to the bathroom when something rattled violently and what was probably the loudest portion of the song Last Resort by Papa Roach blasted from her pants pocket just as she was about to grab her towel for a quick shower. After a few short seconds of fumbling to extract and answer her cell phone, she was greeted by the frantically rambling Ivan.

"Woaw, Ivan. Slow down squirt. I can't understand a word you're saying!" "I-Izvinite, no otets na prosypalsya," he managed to stutter out. He obviously couldn't see the look on the woman's face, but he imagined that she was extremely confused. All Caligo really caught from that was that it had something to do with Vilkas and it must've been bad if Ivan was calling her. Not to mention he couldn't seem to speak English at the moment.

"Alright squirt...just stay calm and don't get into trouble until I get there, ok?" "Da," he managed, nodding vigorously on his end of the call. "Great," she said, "I'll be over before the hour is out." Once she had finished with showering and brushing her hair and teeth she grabbed her things and left, the only thing on her mind was getting to Vilkas's house and making sure he and Ivan were okay.

"Let's go see your papa..." Shifting my weight more to her right side, we headed down the hall to otets's room. "Val," she called in a wary tone, rapping her knuckles against the door, "Vilkas, it's almost 10:40. Don't you think you ought to get up and make breakfast for Ivan and your dogs?" There wasn't any sound or even one of otets's "lazy groans" like there usually was whenever someone-especially Ms. Cally-tried to wake him up. It felt like if we went into the room, it would be completely empty...

"Ivan, are you sure he's in here," she asked quietly, still eyeing the door. I nodded. "It was the only room I couldn't get into this morning. You can open it, da?" "Well, I COULD...but let's make sure we get something for you all to eat first, okay?" I really did want to see if otets was alright, but she must've heard my belly rumbling. Mishka and Vlad seemed to like the idea too so it would be okay, right? "Would you like pancakes again Ivan?" "Da~" Ms. Cally's pancakes were pretty good in the morning, but I never thought she'd let me have them for lunch...Mr. Austria never would, according to Italy.

She put me down on a chair and filled Mishka's and Vlad's bowls first so they would stop following her around for a little while. "Pancakes~ pancakes~ pancakes~" "I'm working on them Ivan, calm down," she chuckled, putting on the girly looking apron otets always kept around for her and started mixing the batter. Sometimes otets would let me lick the spoon, but I had a feeling Ms. Cally didn't like that...especially when she had to stick it back in the bowl.

She started talking at some point but I wasn't really listening. Otets said she talked a lot and sometimes to herself and that she was probably insane but not to worry...I kinda do if he's going to say it that way. "Ivan," she called, putting a plate of pancakes in front of me and looking at me like I was the crazy one..."Ivan, do you want maple syrup or not?" "Da?" "Hm...I'll just assume that's a yes then." Well it kinda was, but she didn't really speak Russian so I guess I couldn't really blame her. "Otets thinks you should learn Russian instead of German." I like pancakes~

One of her eyebrows went up and I guess that's what otets meant by the "answer her quick or she might eat you or some weird shit like that" look. "Da~" More pancakes for my hungry mouth~ "Well does he plan on teaching me? Cuz there's no Russian language class in school." "Da, he said he would teach you, but you'd have to come live with us." She made that funny face again... "Well tell him I said thanks, but not to count on it happening anytime soon." It might be a bad idea to tell her that otets had already went through four bottles of vodka the night before... "Besides," she started again, "I'm living with an Austrian so it's more practical for me to speak German than Russian."

I shrugged and went back to the yummy pancakes on the table, eventually finishing them up and Ms. Cally did the dishes. Now we just had to get otets up out of bed and everything would be normal again~ "We go to see otets now, da Ms. Cally?" "Just a second Ivan. I've got to call in at work...I get the feeling your father's not really gonna want to get out of bed today..." It's a good thing the phone call was short, otherwise I would've just went to wake otets myself...Or unplug all the land lines actually. I followed her back to otets' room with the door still locked and watched her kneel down with a couple of weird, bent up hairpins. She did something with then that made the door open though, so it was a pretty cool trick.

"Wait out here for a little while Ivan," she murmured, patting my head. She left the door just slightly ajar as she crept in and looked at the large mass beneath the grey sheets on the bed. I could just barely see her sit down beside him like a mommy would I guess but I couldn't hear anything other than muffled words and see her mouth moving. 'I can be a little naughty since I'm worried about otets...' It was easy to squeeze through the gap Ms. Cally had left and I quickly dove under the bed. Otets' thick mattress made it hard to hear still, but I could hear better since I was pretty much right there.

"Vilkas..." There was a childish sounding whine from the bed and the mattress overhead creaked as one of them moved around. "Don't make me get up," otets whined, "Don't make me...I can't..." This was really strange...He sounds so...dead, maybe?.. 'What's wrong with otets..?' "Yes you can...there's nothing keeping you on this bed but yourself. Don't you wanna get up and see Ivan?..He's worried, Val...I can go get him if you-" "Nyet, don't..!" Otets didn't want to see me?.. Was I bad for calling Ms. Cally to come to the house...? "Wah...hey, calm down...tell me what's going on in that head of yours..? Vilkas...I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong..." The portion of the mattress I was under seemed to shake a little and the weight on the bed shifted as if someone were lying down, but they were super light. Maybe it was Ms. Cally? But she didn't really like to be all cuddly with people...It would be so much easier if I could see them...

Crawling back to the doorway without getting caught was easy since Ms. Cally's back was to it and blocking otets...when had she gotten onto the bed? "Today," was all otets said in a voice that sounded like an old rickety door from a haunted mansion in a horror movie that was so ancient it was in black and white. Today? What was today? Today was Sunday, da?..

"Today," Ms. Cally murmured in response, "Today is..." She sounded just as confused as I did but I guess she knew something that I didn't because she gasped. "Oh, Val..." I wonder why she always called him that. She knew is name was Vilkas and she could just call him Vil, right? Although that sounded a little stranger that Val, but at least it wasn't a girl's nickname. I guess otets didn't really mind though, whatever she decided to call him. He would laugh whenever she called him an arschlock after all...whatever that is. Anyways...what were the adults doing now?

"I'm sorry...I didn't know it was so close..." Ms. Cally sounded a little guilty and sad for some reason... "It's alright," otets sighed, "I never told you when...that's my fault...Otets admitting to being wrong about something? Something must be really wrong about today because otets never admits he's wrong. Never ever! "No, no, I remember now Val," Ms. Cally cooed softly. A tiny arm draped itself slowly and carefully over the large lump on the bed that was more likely than not otets at the same time a pair of long and strong looking arms reached out to drag her closer to him. She made a funny sounding squeaking noise but I did my best not to laugh at it...I think she would've normally hit him for doing that, like she would've to anyone else, but she didn't budge at all. Weird...

Otets started muttering again. I almost didn't hear him at all... "...Cally...I can't...It's too hard...since he came along...I can't focus...I can't work...nights feel longer..." "Don't say that. You love Ivan..." Me? Otets was talking about me? Did I really make life that hard for him? Did he not want me?... "I DO love him...It's just...I look at him…" He couldn't finish his sentence and made a small hiccupping sound (or maybe it was me...). "And you see yourself," Ms. Cally finished, "You see yourself and you want to give that little boy everything you never had...The family, the home, the love..." The sheets looked like they twitched in response...

"Then do it. Don't lie around here feeling sorry for yourself. Vilkas, you've got a family. You've got people looking out for you..! You don't have to do this on your own. You and Ivan have Yen and Mavi and Mal and Lin and myself and our families too." Otets laughed. Not like the usual chuckle he made. This one was a full blown laugh like Santa Claus (but ha-ha, not ho-ho)...except kind of scary... "You guys don't have families either…Not really at least..." "You snarky fuck," she muttered, though she didn't sound angry when she said it. Maybe hurt, but not angry..."You know damn well what I mean." "Da" was all I heard for a while and a head moved under the thick sheets.

It was hard to believe he didn't think he had a family...Wasn't I his family? That's what Ryuu and Ms. Cally kept telling me. Hearing him say otherwise...I just..."Urgh...Otets!" "I-Ivan...!" I didn't care if they would get angry that I was 'ease dropping' or whatever. I didn't care if they said I wouldn't understand because I was too young still. I just wanted my papa...I hopped up onto the large bed and landed right on top of something kind of squishy. Otets lurched forward off the bed and coughed a little when I landed on him and Ms. Cally flinched but no one pushed me away. "Ne ostavlyay menya otets ... ne posylayte menya! ya tebya lyublyu...!"

'Say something, otets...anything...?'

"Ivan," I heard him murmur. "Da...otets...?" A large hand ruffled my hair in a calm and relaxed way like he would normally if I did something silly or made a mistake. Like he was telling me that it would be okay...I heard him "oof" again when I planted my face in his chest and murmured, "Otets isn't happy with me around, is he...?" "N-Nyet, Ivan...! That's not what I meant..." He sounded so upset and Ms. Cally patted him on the shoulder, saying something like "Use your words, Val" as otets ran a hand through his hair. I guess even adults didn't know what to say sometimes.

"I do love you Ivan...I'm just...missing my mama and otets right now," he murmured. "Where did they go...?" Ms. Cally patted my head gently before pulling me up into the small space between her and otets. "Well...a long time ago, a very bad person came and took them away...Long before your otets ever got a chance to know them...and now he's afraid the same thing will happen to you, because he's more like your adopted father...But," she started when otets was about to say something, "That doesn't matter, because he's here now and one day you're going to have a mama so he should stop worrying about what MIGHT happen and pay more attention to you."

"You're such a smart ass, Cally..." Otets sounded like he was upset but he was smiling when he said it for some reason. Ms. Cally looked a little mad though... "Val, should you really be saying that in front of him? He's still young yet..." "I'd rather him hear it from me," he whispered in his usual lazy tone, pulling her toward him again and squishing me in between them, "moy dorogy~" "Nein," she deadpanned before quickly shoving her hand over his face to block what was probably going to be a kiss. I couldn't stop laughing since that's just how Ryuu reacts whenever Feli tries to kiss her cheeks. "Ms. Cally can be my mama~ She makes otets happy~"

Otets looked like he was thinking about it for a little bit (his eyes looked kind of puffy and there were dark circles under them, but other than that, he looked pretty much like he always did), no smiles or anything, and looked at Ms. Cally like he was totally serious about it. "What do you think about that, honey~?" "Eh?! Don't get started on that again, Val…! You know where that ended us up last time," she muttered. Maybe Mr. Austria's attitude was starting to rub off on her? Otets grunted again. "You're starting to sound like that hotshot lazing around at your house."

"Oh no. Don't drag Roderich into this. We sound nothing alike." "Of course not. Moy dorogy is much more interesting than that loser~" "Vilkas!" I could feel otets's chest vibrate from his low rumble of a laugh and Ms. Cally sighed in defeat. Otets usually got his way when he had to "deal with people" (that's how he says it anyway) but it rarely works with Ms. Cally.

"Well I guess you're feeling better now," she muttered and started to get up when otets pulled her back down with another weird noise. It only seemed right that I jump on her too...so I did~ "H-Hey, you guys...! If you want me to stay, you can just ask me to..." "Then stay." "...That sounded more like a command than a request..." "Stay anyway." Another sigh and she lay back down next to us. "I suppose that's about as close to a please as I'll ever get from you, girlfriend or not..."

Translations:

Ne ostavlyay menya otets ... ne posylayte menya! ya tebya lyublyu...!"-Russian- Don't leave me father..Don't send me away! I love you...!


	17. Strain

Hetalia Units: Strain

-Austria's P.O.V.-

The hours had passed by so quickly from last night until now...When was now anyway? I hadn't thought to look at the clock as I sat up from the couch (which was NOT under any circumstances a comfortable place to sleep. I don't know how that girl does it…) nor did it really click in my mind that there was a blanket draped over my legs and chest that decided it liked being around my ankles. The sound of running water didn't really help since the last time I checked, even if that was last night at some ghastly hour, I was alone in the apartment.

Where was this disturbance coming from? Whoever it was that decided to intrude upon my home-ah, excuse me, Caligo's home-was going to sorely regret it by the time I was through with them...Normally I would let Caligo be the one to deal with aggressors in her usual fashion but seeing as she wasn't here and sleeping on this couch had me in a foul mood, I supposed I could hold down the fort so to speak. I pulled out the small lockbox from under the coffee table and retrieved the Desert Eagle air soft pistol that Caligo kept around for me in case France, who apparently lives just a floor above us decided to break into her apartment again for some wine or company at awkward hours of the day before quietly and calmly walking toward the kitchen.

The fake gun was loaded and wouldn't kill a person, but it would most definitely hurt quite a bit and have the desired threatening effect (the orange paint on the barrel had long since been worn and stripped from the metal from years of use, or so I was told). The clatter of dishes could be heard, which I found quite strange, but completely beside the current point. I held the pistol up and pointed it to the back of the person as I entered the room...A female? How strange..."Hands up and don't move Frau..." She stopped what she was doing and looked up before wiping her hands off on a towel. Honestly, was I speaking German to this girl or do Americans have poorer English than they let on?

"I guess you're up now, huh?" For the second time-maybe more than that, though I'd never admit to her that sometimes I don't recognize her when she isn't constantly screaming and swearing-Caligo turned around and thoroughly scare-I mean surprised me. My posture immediately slackened and my arms dropped to my sides at the sight of her despite the fake gun in my hand. "Gut Gott madchen! You almost gave me a heart attack," I sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of my nose just beneath my glasses and fixing the frilly white apron clad woman with a stern glare. "Why didn't you wake me up when you got back?" "Well you were sound asleep," she muttered, turning back to wipe the dishes now, "So I thought I shouldn't wake you up. Besides, I had to clean up the kitchen since there was so much left out overnight..." "Yes, yes. You had work to do. That's all good and..."

My train of thought stopped right then at the mention of food and I looked through the kitchen. Indeed, the steak and rice I had prepared for her the previous night were tossed in with the trash, (certainly not something that should be kept after sitting out for so long) the bottle of red wine still unopened and stowed most likely in the cabinet again, and the flowers trimmed and sitting in a clear crystal vase where I had originally placed them. I'm not quite sure what it was that started it, but something had set me off at the sight of all this. It wasn't that she hadn't done a good job of cleaning up, but all the work I had put in the night before and she hadn't bothered to call, let alone come home...

"I can't believe you!" "What? Roderich, we can't keep food that's been sitting out all night, especially if it's meat. It won't taste good and if we eat it we'll get really sick." It was true, food poisoning was certainly not fun by any means but that only seemed to make me angrier with her. Honestly! It could've all been avoided with a simple phone call! "That's not the point. The food would have been perfectly fine if you'd have the sense to pick up your phone last night like you say you will if someone needs you!" She stopped short of what she was doing, holding the large serving plate to her chest and turned to me. For whatever reason she looked very shocked at me, those dark eyes of hers widening just enough to show a slight tinge of brown in them in the sunlight. Her eyes narrowed a little again, turning back into those dark little ink colored pools that they normally were and she managed to find that irritating edge in her voice that seemed to be ever present these days. "Sometimes things come up, okay? I can't take calls right away all the time." "Where were you then? You could've at least bothered to tell me that rather than simply walking out of the house yesterday!"

"Well it kinda sounded like you wanted me out of the house yesterday," she hissed, trying to keep herself from raising her voice, no doubt. "I went over to Vilkas's house because he needed some company." "_Vilkas_?" Just the thought of the Russian made my blood boil...First YenKin, then William and Harey and now Vilkas? What was so important that they merited her attention so much more than me? "And what on earth was it this time that made it necessary for you to stay at his house for the night?"

Her tense body language wasn't at all a good sign to me, nor was her ignoring my question, although she seemed to be trying to think of a way to answer me (perhaps lie) in a way that would satisfy my curiosity without exposing some sort of secret. I normally encouraged her to be more thoughtful of her words but I just couldn't seem to find the patience for her newfound caution. "Well?" "It's Vilkas's personal business, Roderich." "Personal? Then what is it that he called you over for if it's HIS business?" I couldn't fathom why I could suddenly care less of her lack of patience with me... "Let's just say there's some things a man needs a woman for," she muttered. Damn that irritable tone of hers... "What could a man possibly need a woman for that he couldn't procure himself," I scoffed, perhaps a little more arrogantly than I had intended. Dark eyes flashed up at me almost threateningly the moment the words were left to hang open in the air and a part of me sorely regretted it, though out of fear of her wrath or that I might have said something offensive, I couldn't be sure. "Comfort, for one thing. Men OBVIOUSLY are hardly the most sensitive toward others," she retorted rather heatedly, "And I think you would understand that well."

"Do you think I'm one who NEEDS a woman around?" "Well considering that I WORK and PAY for everything, I think you need ME in particular around. I think that would entitle me to some form of respect from you! Come on Roderich. Give me a damn break! It was one mistake." "One mistake," I scoffed. "I think that hardly covers it. And what could your male friends possibly suffer through that it requires a "comfort" only you can provide? I don't think they're ALL single or incapable of finding a companion for such things..." It certainly wasn't the time or place for it, but I actually stopped for a moment to think about what it was exactly that I was accusing her of but she seemed to have a better idea of it than me. Pitch black eyes stared back at me in shock for a moment before her hair seemed to stand on end and her tone became low and dangerous... "And just what exactly are you accusing me of," she hissed. "You seem to know full well..." "What gives you the fucking right to even...! You're an asshole! You know that?! Gil's right! You're a spoiled little-" "How DARE you-"

I slammed one hand down on the fake gun on the table and suddenly she (more or less) screamed. I froze up completely as she jumped back against the counter and a trickle of blood ran down her leg from a small white spot in the middle of her left thigh. It looked like nothing at first, until she squeezed the area around it and a small white sphere fell to the ground, making the spot look more like the skin on her leg had burst open like an infected sore. She was already gritting her teeth in pain when her eyes locked with mine in shock and I followed her gaze down to the hand that was on the table. The barrel of the air soft gun was pointed right at her, safety off and my left ring finger stuck against the trigger from when I had slammed my hand on the table. Stupidly, I fumbled with the fake weapon to pull my hand off the trigger and ended up knocking it to the floor where it when off again, another pellet breaking the skin on her shin this time. "Dammit! Will you stop that?! Don't touch it! Don't you frikin' DARE touch it again," she all but screamed at me, stumbling to the bathroom to clean up the small wounds. They really didn't look like much but I've never been shot with it before and she was a woman so perhaps she was just sensitive... 'I can't tell if I should still be angry with her or feel a little worse than I do right now for shooting her twice...' I could hear her muttering curses and probably grumbling angrily about me along with the running water and I cautiously made my way over to the bathroom...She had her leg up on the counter with a cotton ball laced with iodine on it and wincing every other time she touched one of the small cuts. "If you sit down, I could-" "Hell no. I don't want you anywhere near me or else you might find a way to hurt me with even the bandages..!" And just like that we were arguing again. I couldn't stop myself this time. "Frau, if you don't want me here then I'll leave." "I wasn't ever forcing you to stay," she growled. "Good bye then," I muttered coldly.

I would much rather have liked to lock myself in one of these rooms and played the piano until I calmed down a bit, but of course, with her financial status, she lacked one. Grabbing my coat and quickly taking my leave, I could only think of one place that could satisfy the intense need to express my frustration with her and headed for the university to hopefully find an empty music room as it usually was when Caligo brought me there...


	18. Getting the facts straight

AHA! I told you part 2 would be up soon and here it is! Part 3 is still in the works though and I PROMISE I'M WORKING ON IT HAHAHA-

Just so all of my lovely readers know, I AM in school and taking 6 classes this semester which I don't feel like I have the greatest start to so yeah I might be a bit slow orz

But enough of my sob story. ENJOY~ And still ALL the disclaimers on hetalia I'm gonna cry-

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><p>Hetalia Units: Getting the facts straight<p>

**_~Canada's P.O.V.~_**

"Hey Matt. Could you make more pancakes for Ivan and Vilkas..? They're really cramming it down today..." "S-sure thing, Yen~..." That was the only thing about working here at the Tramonto Cafe. I could make all the pancakes I wanted, but I couldn't eat any of them! It was more torture than anything, but ever since Felicity got me, we've been needing the extra money so it wasn't as if it were pointless..."I still wish I could eat these though," I sighed as I plated the two towering stacks of pancakes for the Russians. "You can always eat some on break, Matt," Yen chimed in.

The bell just above the door jingled a bit as Caligo came in for her shift, a slight but no less noticeable limp in her step and no snarky remarks about how empty the cafe was despite its supposed popularity. "B-Bonjour, Cally~..." "Morning Matt," she murmured, tossing her bag through the door of the staff room and supposedly onto the couch. "Something wrong Cal," Yen asked almost cautiously as she tied on her apron. She looked tired, what with those noticeable bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept well in days...and maybe she hasn't been with all the extra shifts she's been picking up..? "Nothing's wrong...Just a shitty morning, that's all..." Vilkas just stared at her from over the rim of his coffee cup, bored and unamused like usual, and with that sort of creepy arrogance he seemed to be known for. Like he already knew what was wrong. "You and hot shot had at it this morning?" "What?" "Um...h-he means Roderich...I think," I mumbled, even more nervous than usual under that blank stare that seemed even scarier than her angry or irritated one. She made a small "oh" with her lips before her head whipped up toward him, suspicious as fuck, as they would say. "How did you...?" "You're on your period, aren't you? I figured he'd be on the same schedule as you after living together for so long." Yen just barely managed to keep his smoothie in his mouth at that. "Isn't...Isn't Roderich...a guy though...?" "It's called MENsturation for a reason, Matt~" "OH GOD WHY VIL," he yelled, choking and punching himself in the chest to get all of it down his throat, "RIGHT WHEN IM DRINKING!" "Don't drink on the job then Yenny~" Oh wow. This is getting out of hand very fast.

"S-So what happened with you and Roderich..?" She grimaces at the thought, I noted, but it seemed like she wanted...no. More like NEEDED to talk about it...Seeing as no one was really in here at the moment, I came out of the kitchen and took off my apron before reclaiming my seat at the table with Ivan and Vilkas. "I-I'll listen...I-if you want to vent, that is..." I still couldn't help the habit of mumbling even when they were talking with me... "Urgh...thanks Matt, but it's-" "Personal," Vilkas cut in with a quirked brow, "Is that what you told him when you came home this morning?" She gapes at him for a little while before crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a...scary look. "Okay either you've got cameras in my house and you're-" "Spying on you. Or?" "...You're a snarky arschlock like usual," she grunted. She probably figured on the latter because she gave an obvious sigh of defeat and walked over to Ivan, covering his ears. "He more or less implied that I'm a whore for sleeping at your house and hanging out with Yen alone during our party and for letting Harvey and Will hug me so much..."

For a second time, Yen almost had to clean his smoothie off of the counter top with disinfectant wipes. "He called you a WHAT," he sputtered and Vilkas quirked his brow again. "He didn't CALL me one," she sighed, taking the seat next to the taller Russian, "But he "subtly implied" that he thinks I've been fooling around with the four of you..." I'm pretty sure Yen would choke to death if we kept up this conversation while he was trying to drink his breakfast...

"That jerk..! Why would he think that..!?" "I'll bet it's because Cal didn't tell him why she was at my house all night last night, huh," Vilkas murmured. "Maybe he's suspicious of how you don't push Yen away when he wants to hug you?" Vilkas must really enjoy pushing people's buttons because the moment Yen's face flushed, he smirked. "Well...You were lonely and Yen rarely asks for hugs...and you know when he does it's kind of serious," she mumbled, cutting up Ivan's pancakes for him when he held out his fork to her. "But does he know that?" "Well..." Caligo looked away for a moment as she fed Ivan a small bite of the delicious, maple syrup drenched pancakey goodness...I could REALLY go for some maple right now... "No," she sighed, defeated before quickly getting defensive. "But why should he? It doesn't give him the right to think or even say these kinda of things to me..! I don't ask him to do much...if anything at all around the house...A-And besides. It's none of his business what stays between you, Yen and I..." "B-but maybe he's worried..? Or...he feels...he feels like...you're ignoring him..." "Ignoring him? I couldn't even think of ignoring him. Pretty much everything I do...it's always for him. I go out and buy the music sheets for him, make sure he has lunch and dinner, wash his clothes and everything...hell, I even make sure he's safe from Francis and Gil while I'm out of the house! I ask him how his day was even though I pretty much know the answer already..." "P-Papa knows where you live?"

"But talking is different from showing it, moy dorogy," Vilkas mumbled, pulling at her ear gently and more or less ignoring me. "If he wants to know the truth then tell him Cal." Yen flailed slightly, "Who cares if he knows? He's part of our group anyway and if he tells someone you'll just smack him with your violin bow or whatever." "But he needs to understand that not everything I do is his business and that includes what I do with you guys..!" "Yeah well that's true too," Yen mumbled, looking away. "BUT it's not like we give two shits about what his opinion of us is anyway." Vilkas was being uncharacteristically supportive today, but I guess that's a good thing..? It reminded me a lot more of when Russia starts smiling a lot at America...

**-Austria's P.O.V.-Music Room-**

This community college was impossible to navigate but I give them credit for having maps put up around the campus to make the task a bit more manageable... It had taken almost an hour to find the class which she often brought me to for one reason or another but I got there. Inside, two of the people I most often saw her with in here, William and Harvey, were at the piano and apparently attempting to play something.

"Do it, Will. I dare you. I bet you can't!" "You're a horrible individual, I hope you know, but fine. I guess I'll just have to prove I can!" Harvey gave him a look that, as Caligo would put it, meant something along the lines of "no shit, Sherlock". 'Tch...Roderich, you idiot. That's the absolute LAST person you should be thinking of right now!' I suppose I wasn't paying very much attention to what was going on but the next thing I knew, Will had begun playing the Turkish March in cut time. The notes were precise and just as it should be, but it just sounded...so...ugh! "I demand that you stop that at once! It's horrid!" Both boys froze in the middle of what they were doing and looked up at me, utterly confused for a good five seconds, William being the first to speak. "Ah, hallo Roderich. Did Cally bring you in? I thought she didn't have any classes today." "Nein, she didn't," I replied curtly. "Oooooooo~ They had a fight I bet," Harvey started with a barely suppressed snicker. The blonde was quick to elbow the redhead into submission and shoot him a dark look before adjusting his glasses. "Yes, well, he could be here simply because he wants to be. How you managed to find your way here though, that surprises even me..." He trailed off toward the end, but not enough for me to be able to pretend to ignore him.

"Noting your insensitivity toward the subject," I started dryly, "We had a bit of a disagreement this morning and I'm currently in need of a place to stay for the time being..." "No way," Harvey said in what can only be described as a teenage girl over exaggerating the phrase, "She kicked you out of the house? What'd you say to her man?!" "I highly doubt that she would do such a thing unless you were being extremely unbearable...But what DID the two of you argue about..?" These two, her friends, were among the last people I would've chosen to discuss this with but seeing as I only had an annoying Prussian, the Frenchman in the upstairs apartment and a pint sized Italy and Russia to choose from (I had no idea where Japan was, nor did I think either England or America would give very useful advice), what could I have to lose? "I was...upset... She spent the entire night at that boy's house, Krev, without telling me anything. She never answered any of my calls and wouldn't tell me why she didn't come home."

"Well it's Krev," Harvey stated as if it explained everything. He didn't continue so obviously he thought I understood. Will shook his head at the boy and pushed his glasses up a little before continuing with a much needed explanation. "Caligo and Vilkas used to date when they were in high school. She was always right at his side, doing her best to be anything and everything he wanted or needed from her and in many ways that still hasn't changed since they broke up. Most likely if it involves Vilkas, she's not about to tell you anything unless he says it's okay." Now I wish he didn't explain it, but it did make sense...For some reason, it hurt to know that Caligo still had loyalties to a man above me and worse yet, she used to be in love with him! "Do you think...she still loves him," I asked, trying to keep the unease from showing in my tone. "She still loves him, yeah, but she's not IN love with him. Y'know what I mean?" "Harvey, I swear to god your explanations are becoming more irritating when you try to be subtle." The redhead snuffed at his friend and turned away. "Says the piano jerk who tells me I need to practice being more subtle. Make up your damn mind Will!" Will gaped at him (much as an offended woman might) and was on the verge of slapping the boy senseless no doubt. As much as I could relate to his feelings at the moment, that was definitely not what I came for. "As entertaining as it is to watch the two of you bond through ridiculing each other's level of intelligence and feminine habits, that's not the topic of discussion at the moment. Could we focus on Caligo right now, bitte?" "Right, right...sorry," Will half grumbled and Harvey nodded.

"There's something we need to know though." Something they needed to know? I told them the whole story-minus shooting her in the leg twice for my sake-so what more did I need to tell them? "And what would that be...?" "Well...Have you ever thanked her?" I couldn't help but be taken aback by this. Of course I thanked her! Hell, I even made her dinner on nights that she worked late! How on earth could they be taking her side after all this? Just because she's their friend they can't say that she's wrong sometimes? And I let them know this too! (The actual words of this rant would be far too long and with a good many words others might not or, to be honest, SHOULDN'T understand so pardon my German for that...) All the while, their infuriating calmness never dwindled and that only made me begin to pace around as I went on until I think I finally ran out of air and realized I needed to breathe. They were still silent, mind you, and it was beginning to become genuinely irritating... "She's been taking extra shifts lately," was all I got for a moment. At first the words didn't make any sense at all. 'Shifts? Shifts for what? What on earth does she do that requires shifts to be taken!' Then I remembered that she had a job...

'That's right...Caligo works. How could I have forgotten that? I was just talking about it not five minutes ago and I'd already forgotten...' "Did you know she works here at the college too? That's why she leaves you here sometimes. Not just cuz of classes but because she has a job here too." "Und she knows how much you love the piano, even if this isn't exactly what you'd like...so she decided that taking extra shifts at the library here would be alright and she could give you time to come and play. You've never noticed, have you Roderich?" William was right...I hadn't noticed. There were times where she said she would be at work and other times where she would say she would be studying. I never thought that they might mean different things...and extra shifts? That was the first I've heard of that too. What did she need to do that for? We were well off enough. The money that she brought home was more than enough for food, bills, and other things. She could most certainly afford to take a break on some days!

"She doesn't have to work just to bring me here...We could play music together. She can afford to have some fun as well." "You gotta remember Roderich: Caligo's still a student. She's gotta pay for school too and it ain't cheap. She's working to support your ass and herself AND still come in and complain about not being able to find your coffee or the rent on the studio apartment she's been looking at-" William was quick to silence Harvey with a backhand to the chest after mention of the apartment for some reason but I figured that was the least of my worries. "Ow...Christ...okay Will, geeze...Anyway...my point is that her world's revolving around you like it did when she was with Vilkas. She does a lot to try and keep you happy Roderich, and you know she doesn't have to either." "I know that," I muttered sourly. But the more I thought about it the more I realized how little these things actually crossed my mind. I didn't know when she had started taking extra shifts since I came to live with her almost 7 months ago but it sounded as if it was fairly recent... Was I really putting that much of a strain on her...? "Well...Then perhaps it's best that I find a new place of residence after all..." "You idiot...Would you kindly stop being such a dumkomph and patch things up with her already? If you leave things like this now it'll only kill you later I hope you know. The two of you have the worst habit of trying to read the other's mind when you could just as easily ask and stop...fucking up, for lack of a better term," the blonde all but shouted. He looked like he was in actual physical pain from having sworn as well and it was...pretty funny, but I wasn't about to push my luck with laughing at him over it. "Very well," I sighed, heading for the door, "Have it your way. But if it just so happens that I do as a matter of fact end up getting kicked out, I promise you'll have to put up with me much more often than either of us would like."

Harvey shook his head as Roderich left and William gave an exasperated sigh before slumping back against what he thought was the wall. "If he gets kicked out after an attempt at apologizing to her then he probably deserves it," he muttered. The redhead couldn't help the chuckle bubbling in his chest any more than he could his usual bouts of laughter and took to massaging his friend's shoulders in an attempt to ease his irritation. Eventually, he relaxed and Harvey smiled down at his almost sleepy expression. "Y'know, I think I know why Cally and I liked to piss you off in grade school~ You're pretty cool when you're all intense and shit..." "Now why can't you say things like that when I'm intense with my music, Staton...?" "Cuz I know you don't like to be interrupted~"


	19. Unspoken Understandings

OKAY so here's the third part...After this since school is almost out for me and finals week is next week holy crap...I'll try to work on a few more chapters. I'm going to try and change up my writing style a little bit cuz I'm trying to do something about those little sections where I just have these ridiculously long portions of conversation and wall of text and you know what, I might just double space my paragraphs anyway.

OR I'LL TAKE ANOTHER ENGLISH CLASS AND TRY TO GET MY SH-T TOGETHER AND STOP SUCKING AT WRITING-

So like usual, **DISCLAIMER** and lemme know what you guys think.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS BECAUSE NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS ANYMORE

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><p>Hetalia Units: Unspoken Understandings<p>

It was late afternoon now at the Tramanto Cafe and Caligo had just turned the sign over, indicating that the shop was closed. She heaved a heavy sigh which Vilkas was surprisingly quick to catch. "Still haven't heard from him all day," she muttered, resisting the urge to press her forehead against the cool glass of the door. "Don't see why you'd expect to. I don't even wanna chance talking to you after an argument." "Gee, thanks my ever-so-supportive best friend," the woman hissed sarcastically. Vilkas shrugged in response, still watching Yen concentrate intensely on counting up the till and tips for the day's work. "If you're that worried, go and look for him Cal," Yen half muttered as he thumbed through a large stack of $1 bills, "Vilkas is here so I'll close up shop with him. Go and find your Austrian dork before he gets lost or something..." Normally, she would've loved to argue with him about not wanting to abandon them or her responsibilities but right now the thought of Roderich wandering around the city or god knows where else on the island totally occupied her mind. "Thanks Yen. Next time we go out, dinner is on me," she called before sprinting out the door.

Alright. Even he couldn't deny it now. He must've been somewhere in town by now, he figured, and never again would he make an attempt to take the bus. Near some crowded as hell place called Nike Town or whatever, the tired Austrian wandered around aimlessly. He had no change for the pay phone on him and the cell phone Caligo usually let him use was somewhere back at home (since he was originally planning on not living with her anymore, why would he take it with him?) so he had no way of calling anyone for a ride or directions... "For gott's sake, where am I anyway," he muttered irritably, taking a turn down a quieter street.

Roderich had been lost for roughly four hours now and he was cold, tired and just about ready to suck up his pride and ask for directions. A group of maybe three or four young men were milling about the area, leaning against the guard rail separating the sidewalk from a large canal and smoking. They looked like locals, or at least folks who knew the area pretty well so why not? 'Oh, even better. They're coming to me now,' he thought sarcastically and inwardly braced himself for the awkward social interaction to come. "Hey guy, you look like you're lost," one with a beanie said with a smirk that made him seem inappropriately happy for the given situation. "Yeah. Someone like you in a part of town like this ought to be careful about where they're going~..." Oh he didn't like the way they were talking to him one bit... There was a sinister tension in the air as the group closed in on him. "I agree. So if you gentlemen would be kind enough to point me in the right direction I'll gladly be on my way." "Oh we'll show you the way," one said, pulling out a small but sharp looking pocket knife and pointing it in his direction, "but that service comes with a charge~"

"RODERICH!" The man with the knife never saw it coming and quite frankly, no one probably would have unless they were looking in that direction. Honestly. Who expects to be jump kicked in the face? Not this guy since he's tasting the pavement now. "What the hell?!" A blur of limbs shot past Roderich and threw another man down to the ground with a noticeable sound before his newfound savior became still between him and the two remaining thugs. Caligo shot them a dark, threatening look and held her hand out as if expecting then to hand something over to her before motioning for them to come at her. The one with a knife came at her looking angry as ever and the Austrian felt his heart stop when he lunged at the young woman, only to remember who this young woman was. 'Of course. This is Caligo,' he thought, reassured as she used her assailant's momentum to throw him into his companion and knocked them both down to the ground. "Get lost you damn punks," she screamed angrily, grabbing one of the fleeing stragglers and shoving him toward the others with a swift kick to the rear.

"Madchen," he called, his voice breaking into a slight laugh of relief when he reached for her. Caligo turned around and held her hand up to keep his away. "Don't touch me," she muttered, looking down at her coat. The Austrian was almost immediately taken aback and was about to tell her so when she looked at part of her jacket in disgust. "I parked at Senior Frog's and some drunk hobo stumbled out and threw up on me..." Roderich made a comical sound of disgust and held up his hands to keep her at arm's length. "Ugh! Stay all the way over there!" "Hey shut up! I was the one who got barfed on. How do you think I feel!" After a moment of intense silence, the two of them settled down and Roderich took to adjusting his glasses. Caligo stuffed her hands into her pockets and pouted up at him. "Well come on, will you? I wanna get home sometime TONIGHT," she muttered, walking back toward the restaurant where she parked. 'Of course,' he mentally groaned, 'this is Caligo...'

Roderich REALLY didn't feel like arguing again though, and he was supposed to be apologizing to her anyway so he just kept quiet and stayed close to her through the throng of tourists and locals and ladies carrying nine parrots on their arms or the painted people pretending to be statues—Yeah, he was definitely ready to go home.

**~Austria's P.O.V.~**

As soon as we got home, the first thing she did was check the mail and inside her little designated mail slot was a surprisingly heavy and slightly bulging manila envelope. "What's that?.." "Not sure…I guess we'll find out when we get upstairs," she murmured, eyes fixed on the return address as she headed into the elevator. The entire way up to the apartment her eyes never once left the strange envelope, even when fumbling with her keys to open the door. Goodness, I had to take the keys from her and do it myself! "Well whatever it is, I hope it's worth the trouble," I grumbled, but I guess she didn't really hear me because all I got from her in response was a grunt. 'As if being ignored because of her friends wasn't bad enough…Apparently I don't rate enough to beat her mail.'

At least she was paying enough attention to kick the door shut behind her. I would've liked to have apologized now and just gotten the whole ordeal over with already but that would prove to be more than difficult with her stupid mail in the way and would most likely result in another fight… "Frau, why don't you just open it and see what's inside already..?" "I will, I will…Just give me a minute…" My patience was running more than thin by now. "Time for what?" "I just wanna make sure the address on this is right, geeze…!" I froze at the aggravated tone of voice as she stomped over to the TV and started setting up the VCR. She cut the package open not too long after and popped a VHS tape into the player.

The video didn't play for a few minutes, only showing a blank blue screen until it changed to a shaky camera view that focused on a little girl with short, curly hair in a red sunflower dress. "Hi sweety~ Are you ready for your first day of school?" "Yes~," the girl answered with a smile, her two front teeth missing and rocking back and forth on her heels. The voice of the unknown woman said something else that was muffled on the video but the girl let out a shriek of laughter and licked the open space of her gums. "Oh, your little teeth are coming in," the woman cooed, stroking the girl's cheek fondly. The sound of a bell could be heard in the back and suddenly the woman ushered the small girl toward a school building. "Bye bye mommy! I love you~"

Caligo sat in front of the TV, staring up at the screen with wide eyes and not a word to be said. The small girl had a little glimmer in her eyes… "Frau…That's you…isn't it?.." I could hear her swallow thickly and she nodded a little in response. Her voice sounded weak and hoarse. "My first day of school…My mom took that video…I- It was my first day of kindergarten and that was like seventeen years ago almost…" I couldn't pinpoint why it was she seemed so rattled by this video, but the more I thought about it the more it seemed odd. Who would mail her a video tape? Her brother saw her often enough that he could just hand the tape over to her but she never talked about her parents…Taking a quick look around, I suddenly noticed the lack of family photos and even her bedroom lacked any sort of family record as well. I noticed that the video only ever showed a few frames of Yuki and another man that looked similar to her but never the woman behind the camera...

Cautiously, I joined her on the floor and watched the video as it cut out to some other childhood event from her life. "You look like it was traumatizing to have all these moments caught on tape~…" "It's not that…I just…Haven't heard from her since I graduated high school…" High school…Caligo was about twenty three now, and American high school students graduate when they're between seventeen and eighteen normally… "Has it really been four years since you last heard from her, frau?..." She glanced at me briefly before looking down at the floor and shifting so that she was sitting with her legs crossed. Her fingers laced together and twiddled around one another for a while before nodding. "I was living with my brother by that time…"

She started picking at the slightly dried skin on her fingertips when the video started playing something called a May Day performance. "My parents never really got along…Ever, I suppose…They officially got divorced when I turned eighteen so they wouldn't have to _waste money_ on a custody battle for me," she muttered. There was no venom or malice in her voice, which was frightening because if there was ever something worth being angry about, this would definitely be it and she wasn't. Just listening to her, it sounded as though this didn't just hit her hard, but completely blindsided her. "Well where are they now," I half snapped, not because I was angry at her, but because a child was abandoned at the very start of her life. From what I understood, contrary to how it might be in other parts of the nation and other countries, children here weren't always made to fend for themselves the moment they were legally no longer the parent's responsibility.

The video had cut out to one last segment. It was at night and the blaring stadium lights reminded me somewhat of the field she had taken me to once before with our friends to watch an America high school football game. Children were running around and hugging each other, all wearing the same long royal blue colored gowns… Graduation gowns, I finally deduced, and the frame finally came into focus on three students who looked horribly out of place amongst the crowd of happy families. One was a tall boy who reminded me of a certain Russian with a very dower expression, the other was a short dark haired boy that I almost mistook for Japan for a moment who was attempting to fend off a small girl clinging to him like a leech and an older woman who kept making loud yet somehow inaudible remarks as she took pictures, giddy with excitement as one might say. Then there was Caligo. It was easy to pick her out at this point because she honestly didn't look very different from the last high school video of them I had seen and how she looked now as a young adult.

"You look…very upset…More so than usual, anyway," was my brilliant comment. Instead of snapping at me she only nodded, watching with that dull look in her eyes that I'd gotten sick of seeing for the past few days. "My family never showed up to my graduation," she mumbled, "Yen's dad filmed this particular part of the video...After our project grad party that night I went home in the morning and no one was there… Almost everything except for the dishes and some of the furniture that was packed away in boxes and labeled for the movers were gone and my parents were nowhere to be found…I actually tried looking, y'know..? Didn't know what was going on so I just sulked around the house until the landlord came over and told me that the new tenants for our apartment would be arriving next week to start moving in and I had to get the hell out…"

She finally looked away from the screen and I caught a glimpse of her wiping her eyes before she gave a dry laugh. "That's when I found out about the divorce, actually. My dad was already planning on moving and my mom knew we wouldn't be able to afford the rent on the apartment without him and she kept talking about my brother and moving back into her parent's house but-" She choked on her words as if they were physically jammed in her throat and couldn't dislodge themselves.

The worst thoughts possible were starting to fill my mind at her silence and the slow but sure start of hiccups and sobs. I honestly shuddered to think of what might have happened to her in that time between then and now and I almost told her to stop talking about it, but thought about my discussion with William and Harvey earlier today. Of course she wouldn't tell me outright if she was having a problem. She's a stubborn fool like that. But it didn't mean that she didn't look for someone to confide in and I'll be damned if I let Vilkas be the only shoulder she could lean on… "You were…okay though, right?.. You said you lived with Yuki for a few years…" A slightly exaggerated nod. "I m-moved in with him…to this apartment, actually…Just before he got his house now…Got this job now and another one at…the, uh…university's bio lab…I got some money eventually…Took my dad a couple of years or so to turn over the savings account they set up in my name over to me finally…" She hastily wiped another stream of tears that threatened to fall and held up a very official letter in her hand that I hadn't noticed before.

_"'To Ms. Caligo Valgus…We regret to inform you that your mother, patient Linda Valgus has passed away on May 15th at 5:46 AM. By request, her possessions were sent to your last known address. We hope this letter finds you well. Our condolences for your loss…'"_

I looked up at her slowly, not sure what to say as she hunched over in her spot. She was trying so hard not to, but…

_What are you supposed to say when a woman starts to cry…?_

There is nothing _to_ say. As unlike myself as it was-with her or anyone else on a regular basis-I pulled her body that was barely capable of resisting against my chest and held her there. There wasn't anything for me to say, no words of comfort I could give for things that had already passed and we had no control over… After a while, she had calmed down a bit and I reached over to shut the TV off. "Time for bed, frau…" "Right," she mumbled, getting to her feet with my help and moved toward the couch. "And just where do you think you're going? I said _bed_."

She looked confused. Completely confused. That is, until I gestured to the short hallway to her bedroom and saw her flush darkly. "I'm not gonna let you sleep on the couch and put up with you complaining about it in the morning," she grumbled, though I could (somehow) tell she didn't mean to insult me by it. "That's exactly why I'm not going to let you sleep on that couch anymore, or the floor. It's awful and uncomfortable and I don't know how you've been doing it for so long. You need a good night's rest if you want to stay healthy so you can work and enjoy your time off, ja?" I took hold of her wrist and started leading her to the room when she suddenly shouted and jumped on my back, dragging me to the floor. "Frau—"

Gott forbid she let me go and actually be reasonable enough to go to bed like a normal person. No. That would just be _too easy_. "So **this** is why I can't turn my back on you," I half yelled, trying to squirm out of her hold. "You're damn right!" "Don't you use your weird wrestling moves on me young lady!" Somehow she got me on my stomach and sat down on my back. "Tap out, Roderich!" "Nein! Not until you go to bed!" Mein got— Was she pulling my leg over her shoulder now too? "I'm not going to bed until you agree to let me sleep out here!"

This couldn't have been more awkward… Honestly! A nation with a history like my own sat on by a small Japanese girl! If anyone had come along and told me in a year's time, I'd be having a wrestling match with this frau I probably would've had to give a very thorough breakdown of how absurd they sounded… But, at the moment, I had to deal with it and it was getting much harder to move and breathe. "Well…then…it looks like neither of us…are going to sleep in that room tonight…!" "Well I guess fucking not." Caligo sighed and finally let go of my leg and arm, still using me as a chair… "I'm not sleeping on the couch though…" She quirked a brow at me. "You wanna sleep on the floor then?" "Frau, stop making points that I can't necessarily deny…"

"….There's a pull out bed in the sofa…" I thought about it for a little while. Pull out beds probably weren't as comfy as a regular bed…But since neither of us didn't want to sleep in the regular bed without the other and didn't really want to sleep on the floor, it seemed like a good idea… "So how does it work…?" "It's simple. I'll show you." Long story short, yes, the concept of it was indeed very simple, but it was this…just _stupid_ amount of work. Either way, we got the furniture moved aside, the bed pulled out, sheets replaced, etc. and now we could finally go to bed. "Is it just me, or is this bed smaller than the one in the bedroom?" "Go to sleep Roderich. I'm tired and have a 9:30 class tomorrow…" "Fair enough," I sighed, "I know what you're like before nine in the morning…" She just grunted in response in the darkness and I turned on my side, listening to the tic-tock of the kitchen clock…

"Roderich…" "Ja?.." There was no reply for a while and being unable to see her in the darkness, I just assumed she had fallen asleep and we would talk about it in the morning when she remembered. 'I still haven't apologized to her yet…' My eyes were just about to close…

"Welcome home…"


	20. Lessons in Being Grateful (Part 1)

To all my wonderful readers: Apologies for not posting very often. I'm in college now, and school really is a killer when you're a science major. Not to mention having a job...

No more excuses though! I've regained my inspiration and now I have a better handle on my schedule (at least for now) so I'm expecting to update more often!

Also, I'm planning on attempting a massive rewrite of more or less everything I've posted so far because I reread some of my old stories and I wanted to throw up so badly-

So thank you again for your support and I will be attempting to unshame my writing haha

A/N: So I did some research and I couldn't find any continuity or agreement as to what Fem!Germany's human name is so I went with the nicest one I could find: Luise!

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><p><span><strong>~(Luise's P.O.V.)~<strong>

Difficult people always seemed to find their way to me no matter where or how far I go. I don't know why, I don't know how, and I thought this one would be like any other that I've had to deal with in my lifetime but apparently I must've killed someone of inconceivable importance in a past life to be stuck here. Two weeks living with the Russian man known as Vilkas Krev and I still don't have the slightest inkling as to how he and his "kalabash" family can function in a normal society without being committed to some form of institution, let alone still be alive after half the things I've been forced to witness them do. "God, if you can hear me, I'll take any other punishment you have for me if you get me the hell out of here." "Aw don't be like that Luise~ sweety~ belle femme~"

"MAL! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

"Or just shoot me now and let me start over." My name is Luise Beilschmidt, and I am the live-in nanny for Herr Vilkas Krev.

"Dammit Val. Can't I leave you and Roderich alone for five minutes without you two bitching and whining?"

"Cal, if you really are my friend you'd know the answer to this."

Vilkas and Caligo continued to glare at each other while the others scooted as far away as they possibly could from the two without knocking someone out of the booth. Unfortunately, I was on one of those ends. I couldn't have cared less about the redhead across from me trying to pull Kiku and YenKin into his lap in a disturbing effort to save space...Although I can't say that I didn't feel bad for them.

"Gilbert, aren't you supposed to be the one groping people?! "People" referring specifically to Mal?!"

Gilbert just laughed from behind his beer mug and drank it down. "We work as a team you know~"

"THAT'S TERRIFYING!"

I noticed Lin pinching the bridge of her nose beside me and suddenly Mal's face went flying into the table with a pained...squeal sounding noise.

"Thank god Artie could babysit tonight. You all would be teaching little Feli and Ivan some really bad language with your potty mouths..!"

"Mavi, shut up. All of you, shut up. Mal and Gilbert better stop groping Yen and Kiku and Cal, just make up kiss with Vilkas and sit with Roderich so this isn't Cheeseburger Factory all over again."

"Actually I'm pretty sure the expression is kiss and make up-"

"I don't care!"

A man-presumably the manager-loomed over our table and cleared his throat loudly, glaring down at us. I almost thought that would be enough to get these psychopaths (that's right, I said it) to settle down, but like I said before. I must've done something excessively horrible to have been stuck with a group like this because more than half of them sent the poor guy running for the hills when they glared _back_!

"Just ignore them, Luise," Roderich droned uncaringly as he sipped his beer. I guess I didn't mask my irritation very well but who could in company like this? They certainly didn't hide it from each other.

"Hey little master, your frau is over there fighting for your dignity as a man. The least you could do is pretend to pay attention."

"Gilbert, I just got off of a nine hour shift. I swear to god if you so much as touch me tonight..."

"Oh? You're letting me onto second base already? I thought I'd at least buy you a drink first~ Kesesese!"

I groaned loud enough to be heard over the music and arguing when even the great, refined Austria leaned forward in his seat to start arguing with Gilbert.

"That's it!" I slammed my fist down on the table, effectively shaking the dishes scattered about and drawing the attention of a few patrons from surrounding tables, though I had a feeling they were already clued into all the arguing. "I guess we're lucky that the manager has no spine or he would've kicked us out ages ago. However, I'm not going to tolerate this anymore. No one here can seem to get along with each other if their lives depended on it so from now on, if all of you are going to be together you can count me out. My job is to take care of Ivan when Herr Krev is busy, not put up with all of your childish behavior!"

The entire table was silent for the first time since the evening began and a few of the less disgruntled people leaned back in their seats.

"Alright, we can go then," Vilkas said, climbing out from his spot with his usual cool demeanor. He threw down a couple of twenties for our portion of the bill and waved the others off over his shoulder before walking out.

"Val's right...Besides, it's late and I've got to open the lab tomorrow morning." Many of the others followed suit, YenKin and Kiku staying behind to make sure that the waiters took the check and their rather generous tip for putting up with everything this evening. I'm more than relieved that they had the sense to end the evening before things got disastrous but there was this nagging feeling that I had just set something reprehensible into motion...

_._

_._

_._

**(Gilbert and Kiku)**

"So run me through this again. You're leaving me all alone here while you're off in France with your little buddy there?"

"Oui, pretty much~"

"This has to be the most anti-awesome thing you've done yet! It's just spiteful!"

Even all of Gilbert's whining and groaning didn't stop Mal from continuing to pack for the trip the next morning. Hell, he didn't even know when they'd planned the damn thing but apparently it would just be the two of them.

"You can have Francis over if you'd like to have company, Gil. As long as we know them and the house doesn't explode you can have friends over the whole time I'm gone!"

The albino stopped and gave the idea some time to sink in... "Well I guess when you put it that way it's not so bad," he mumbled, pretending to have settled down a little and feigning the barest suggestion of hurt at the idea. Inside he just couldn't wait for him to go, although he still wanted Mal to come back eventually.

"Don't worry, Mon Ami. I'll bring back something nice for you too~ !"

So with the promise of a few bottles of fancy wine, Gilbert gladly drove YenKin, Kiku and Mal to the airport.

"If you need something go ahead and call okay? Pepe's dad has a house up there so someone will pick up if we're not there."

Kiku wasn't going with them?

"Please have a good time at the art gallery, Yen-san..."

"Of course we will!"

They were gone faster than he could say good bye, both boys looking excited even as they left them behind. One night they're on each other's nerves and the next they're taking a trip to France together? Even this made no sense to Gilbert and it was one of those things that he just couldn't seem to ignore…

"So what exactly are they going to France for...?"

"An old classmate is having a gallery opening and invited Mal-san who was allowed to bring a guest. A friend of his who works for the airline got them a good deal on plane tickets."

"But why YenKin...?" He was suddenly feeling actually hurt - just a little - that Mal wanted to take someone other than him to a nice place. He was practically fluent in French too, thanks to Francis. They'd both be floundering about the place if they got lost and his dad wasn't around to fish them out of trouble! Nothing could stop the Prussian from being a pouting mess for the next few days of what should've been his week of debauchery...

**(Roderich)**

Something was amiss, he realized, the very moment he stepped into the apartment and found the living room a complete mess. Two very distinct voices in the middle of a barely hushed argument made his head spin when he put it together with the mess he was looking at. "Frau, is that you back there?" If it wasn't then he might be in a bit of trouble right about now...

"Yeah. I'm changing my clothes right now so don't come in back for a bit, okay? For the last time, I don't want to wear the red one...!"

"But it's sexy..."

"I don't give a _shit _about who thinks I look sexy or not."

Roderich frowned as he shut the door behind him and locked it, more than ready to unburden himself of the groceries he'd picked up. "And who, may I ask, has been allowed in that bedroom if not me?" It wouldn't be until sometime later that he thought better of that sentence. More hushed arguing could be heard and eventually he just couldn't help himself. Roderich made his way to the lone bedroom of their apartment and, way of what he might find inside, slowly opened the slightly cracked bedroom door.

"God's sake Roderich!" A mostly nude Caligo practically screamed at said Austrian. "I told you not to come in here!"

He was more preoccupied with trying to figure out if he should shut the door and let her get dressed or demand an explanation as to why Vilkas of all people was sitting on the edge of her bed watching her walk around in her underwear. He opted for turning his back, a hand on his forehead and glaring at a portion of the wall that had a mental image of Vilkas' face on it. "I demand you explain yourself at once!"

"I'm trying to get dressed dammit! I thought telling you to not come in here would be warning enough!"

"Frau…" He tried to keep his voice as even as possible. "My concern is the reason Herr Krev has for being in here _while_ you're changing."

"It's not anything I haven't seen before Roderich."

The Austrian was just about to turn around and give this man a piece of his mind for once when something caught his attention. He had no idea what Vilkas' intention behind the statement was. There was nothing condescending about his tone for once, no underlying attempt to insult his intelligence or to prod at the fact that the Russian man had a better established and, at one point, intimate relationship with his flat mate. If anything, he sounded bored and a little more than impatient. He couldn't actually believe that he had to stop and consider the possibility that all he had done – this time – was state an outright fact.

"Cal, seriously. Don't wear the black one. It makes you look like a vampire queen."

"I'm trying to send a message. Y'know, like 'I bite more than this party does'?" The tension in the air was practically palpable and so was the smug satisfaction in Caligo's voice. "Not so fun when you're the one taking shit from an asshole, ey Vil~? Anyway, I'm not wearing that red one."

"Well pick _something_, please. Before we're late," he grumbled.

Roderich turned around just in time to see her throw an open backed red gown in Vilkas's face and disappear into the closet again. Clothes that even he'd never seen in there before began to fly out onto the bed and the occupant in the line of fire until a deep emerald green gown was launched to the ground. Caligo stumbled out of the closet after it and carefully examined it. It was a halter top with a black lace corset belt around the midsection and long slits running up the sides, presumably to about the lower thigh region that most likely allowed for better mobility.

"Well would you look at that… I haven't seen this thing since Junior prom!"

Vilkas made a sound and nodded in agreement, seemingly eyeing the dress now draped over the woman's front with an obvious thoughtfulness. "Why not that one? I still like it."

The two shared a fond smile when Roderich noted a hint of mischief in Caligo's eyes as she perched a hand on her hip and gave her date a cheeky look. "My thoughts exactly~ Now help me into this thing. Swear to god, it was a pain in the ass to get this thing on the first time around…"

"Actually, are you sure it'll still fit? You've grown quite a bit since grade school."

"Vilkas!"

"I was not implying that you're fatter now!"

"Stop talking! Dammit, I can't wear this bra with it…"

The Austrian quickly vacated the room the second Vilkas mentioned changing it and slammed the door shut behind him. He retreated to the kitchen (which was as far away as he could get from the bedroom without actually leaving the apartment) until they finally made it out to the living room themselves. The two looked ready to attend a very high class party and he just couldn't help his curiosity. "If I may ask, what would be the occasion for dressing up tonight?"

"I've got a party I need to at least show my face at to keep good standing with one of my "friends"…" The taller male didn't even look slightly displeased as Caligo fixed his steel blue tie and somehow he got the impression that they used to do things like this all the time…

Roderich didn't like it.

"Don't wait up for me tonight, okay? These things usually tend to drag on with all those snobby windbags that show up…" She muttered irritably. Brushing the last of the creases out of his suit lapels, Caligo glanced back at Roderich. "No offense, Roderich."

He _really _didn't like that. In fact, he was even a little offended that she would lump him in with the rest of the "upper class" after everything that they'd been through. He was sure he had more civility than that, despite his superior social status… Before he could get anything more from her though, they were already out the door with a string of rushed good byes. Roderich sighed and headed for the fridge. "I have the entire house to myself so…" What could he really do? "Would it be too much to ask that she have a piano in here…?!"

**(Arthur)**

It was time for tea in the Kollane household according to the large grandfather clock that chimed loudly in the lounge. Arthur had the dining room table set for two and the set to low kettle on the stove. He'd even gone out with Alfred that morning to a local bakery and picked up some scones and local specialties, or so the Pilipino woman in the shop claimed. Over the course of time he'd lived at the house, he'd tried to build up some semblance of a routine but Lin turned out to be a woman with a surprisingly erratic schedule. As it turned out, today was no exception just as he concluded it might be. "I made tea for us," he mentioned almost casually as the Thai woman searched the kitchen for her keys.

"Sorry Arthur, but I'm going to the spa with Mavi today. You should have told me earlier."

"I always have tea at this time though…" Arthur spoke softly as he began taking away the second place setting.

Lin paused for a moment, frowning until she noticed her car keys hidden just under today's newspaper on the kitchen table. She could only assume Arthur had thrown it there on top of them by accident in his poor mood…

The blonde was used to her leaving without another word when they had little almost-arguments like these but he had been honestly hoping that she would stay just this once… "She's a respectable woman though. If she has prior commitments, she doesn't simply brush them off." He knew he was just trying to justify her leaving so suddenly all the time and she was right, he'd never properly asked her to join him. He'd always opted for simply letting the option be there and she could take it or leave it as she pleased. '_She leaves it more often than not_,' he thought somewhat bitterly before taking his usual spot at the table. Besides, how could he have thought that hiding her car keys would do anything but delay her slightly? "Maybe next time I need to try harder…"

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><p>AN: This isn't the end of it, trust me. You just can't avoid the drama of life sometimes so get ready for at least two more parts!


	21. Lessons in Being Grateful (Part 2)

A/N: So this chapter is really short and to be honest, the next one will be too but I figured I had to cut it down since it was pretty much 20 pages in total or so in docs...

Light read so why not, yeah? Anyway, same old same old and after all this time I still don't own Hetalia haha!

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><p><span><strong>~(Luise's P.O.V.)~<strong>

Several weeks – roughly three, I guessed – had passed since the now infamous "D&B incident" and I had somehow found myself at some obscure mom and pop coffee shop in town with mein bruder, Roderich, Kiku, Arthur and of course little Ivan and Feli. Francis and Matthieu had almost joined us too but Arthur mentioned that they were out for a little male bonding…

"We should've just went to someone's house. Mal brought back this very awesome bottle of wine that I wanna open."

It was unbelievably strange and dare I say, just a little unsettling to hear Gilbert speak with a normal tone, volume and almost vocabulary. There was no overwhelming proclamation of his awesomeness when he entered the coffee shop either. He was even on time and had arrived with Roderich no less!

"It's a bit too early to be drinking, Beilschmidt," Arthur grumbled, though it was almost painfully obvious that he wasn't upset at him. "Besides, I think I'd actually prefer coffee over anything else right now."

"Alright. Something is different about all of you."

"There's nothing wrong with the occasional social gathering between friends, Luise…"

"Since when were you und Gilbert ever 'friends'!"

Roderich looked as if he'd been fuming for days now and took a minute to shoot an irritated glare my way. I couldn't help returning the look. I was only too thankful that I had the iPad Herr Krev gave me to keep Ivan and Feli busy. This was definitely not a conversation to be having with children around but it couldn't be helped. "Something is definitely bothering you all. You're acting far too differently for it to be otherwise so quit dancing around it and spit it out already."

Kiku visibly shifted in his seat. "I hope it is not…too out of place for me to say but…" He chewed his bottom lip, obviously uncomfortable but hell bent on getting the words out somehow. "I feel as though Yen-san has become…distant…from me, to be more accurate."

It really must've been the elephant in the room because many of the others nodded in agreement or kept their gaze on their drinks. I politely signaled for him to continue, but his hesitation gave Gilbert a chance to butt in.

"They're always going out and doing something! And you know something? It's not just mundane stuff like going to the same damn bar and drinking beer or whatever. All six of them went out to a club last weekend. I was actually asleep by the time Mal stumbled in!"

"That's hardly anything worrisome," Roderich cut in, his scowl deepening more than ever. "That woman rarely comes home. I usually see her during the day when we change out for our shifts or when she comes home to change but that's about it. A week ago, Herr Krev…" His every syllable held an obvious distaste for the Russian, something to which I found myself unable to go one way or another about. "…Was permitted to not only lounge about the bedroom while she dressed herself, but even took her out to a gala of some sort to pose as his significant other!"

"Well you never know, Roderich. They might've gotten back together at some point." Though the part about his story that struck me as odd was that Caligo had been over at the house with Herr Krev for almost an entire week now. At first, it was very sporadic, but now that I had the other half of the story…

"I don't know if I envy your situation or if it makes me feel a little better," Arthur muttered tersely, taking a rather aggravated sip of his coffee. The small mug was drained in a matter of moments, something that disturbed and fascinated me a little at the same time, before he firmly set it back down. The rather loud sound of ceramic making contact with glass caused a few of the other patrons and the children to look up at us… "At least your flat mate isn't mentally a thousand miles away from you while still managing to be in the same room… Honestly! What does Lin even do? Has she ever told anyone what her profession is? I know for a _fact_ that she doesn't take night classes or anything…" Receiving no answers or any other information about Lin only served to make him sulk more.

"They're all adults. They can do what they like so long as no one gets arrested and no one gets hurt," I muttered.

"But you don't like the fact that Krev's not hanging around very much, do you?"

"It doesn't matter. My job is to help maintain the house and take care of Ivan. Maybe babysit occasionally." But I had started to notice that the more Caligo was around the house, the less Herr Krev asked of me and the more free time I seemed to have in these last few weeks… Slowly but steadily, the realization crept up on me that I had little to do without the nonsense he usually put me up to dealing with.

"I suppose Luise-san's situation is different from ours…"

"Bollocks. Vilkas might come off as a bit of an arse but you have to admit that he's been trying to be nicer." Arthur cast a sideways glance in my direction as if he were hinting to something. I wanted to tell him to mind his own business honestly… "Luise, he's invited you out to every single one of their little outings so far and even if it's something like going out drinking at a pub, he asks someone else to babysit before he comes to you."

"How would you know?"

The Brit rolled his eyes at me as if the answer would obvious, but I doubted Ivan would ever be allowed to stay with him for a day…

"He came and asked me once or twice of course!"

"Surprising, but probably a good thing that that never happened."

"Oi! I take offense to that, you-"

"We will NOT be having a repeat of Dave & Busters, danke very much…!" I hissed at the squabbling men. '_Lin might have a point about the males of the group arguing all the time…'_ "My point being, we don't have a right to impede on their lives…"

"Well I still don't think they ought to be brushing us off like this," Arthur grumbled.

"_I_ don't like that Vilkas is parading Caligo around as his pretend girlfriend to keep the interest of those lofty friends of his."

"Okay, four-eyes, we get it. She's _your_ woman but let's face it. We've had to do the same thing plenty of times when we'd rather not!" Gilbert rolled his eyes at Roderich with no attempt whatsoever to hide just how annoyed he was with his complaining.

Even without our human friends around, it still seemed like they caused us a reasonable amount of problems just by knowing them, but that wasn't really their fault… "Perhaps I owe them an apology, though maybe it'll just blow over since I haven't actually accused them of being the problem out loud…"

"What're you getting on about now, schwester?"

"I was just thinking that maybe all this squabbling can't be helped. It seems to happen when the others are around and when we're on our own."

Some of them pretended to ignore me while a few (Kiku, mostly, and Arthur) nodded in agreement. Little Feliciano tugged on my blouse sleeve at that moment with Ivan leaning on his head, the two staring up at us.

"Ve… Does this mean we get to go out to dinner with Mavi-chan and the others for Thanksgiving after all~?"

"Feli! Otets said we weren't supposed to tell them…!" Little Ivan shook him by the shoulders, looking worried as if Herr Krev were listening at that very moment.

"Spill the beans you sunflower hugging pipsqueak," Gilbert growled from across the table as Ivan hid behind my arm for safety.

I shot him a look but I should've known that he'd just ignore it. The funny part about this was that it seemed as though no one out of the entire group except for Feliciano and Ivan had known about the dinner in the first place. Had we purposely been excluded from it? Why tell the children then…? It wasn't as if they were obligated to include us in things like this but… '_Is it strange that I feel… Offended by this…? Like it actually upsets me that Herr Krev would purposely not invite me to what appears to be a family event…'_

"Could it be…"

Each of us looked up at Kiku who surprisingly broke the subtle silence first, watching and waiting for him to continue. I couldn't help thinking that I wouldn't like what he had to say, judging by the expression on his face…

Kiku chewed his lip, eyes downcast at his untouched cup of tea until he seemed to have finally found the words to properly voice his thoughts. "Perhaps… They have grown tired of us…?"


	22. Lessons in Being Grateful (Part 3)

A/N: So yes, I do happen to know that this 3 part event and the next one coming up are long overdue, especially season wise but better late than never I suppose!

**(Francis's P.O.V.)**

_When I got home, I mentioned the party and all he did was shrug like he didn't think anything of it one way or another. Then I asked him to come with me and he said he had plans…_

The story was the same all around the table at the busier-than-ever Assaggio's Bistro. Everyone sitting at the table was more or less silent as each of them went around and shared their story of the evening prior to Thanksgiving. Only Ivan, Feliciano, Mathieu and I were present out of the others that had been invited. It was Thanksgiving, but it was nothing short of a dismal affair. They all gave valiant efforts to keep the young ones from thinking anything of the tense atmosphere and, thankfully, so far they were blissfully unaware, though the evening was still young.

"I don't get it," Felicity grumbled. A frown certainly did not fit her in the least but it seemed as if it wouldn't go away anytime soon. "What's their problem anyway? It's just dinner…"

"It's probably got to do with last month when we went out to D&B… Needless to say, I'm pretty sure Luise hates our guts after that incident."

"But we didn't even get thrown out!"

"That's not the point, baka." Lin huffed irritably, swirling the contents of her wine glass before taking a sip. "We got close to it. It was an embarrassing situation and we're lucky we could convince them to let us come here to eat for the holidays with our track record this year."

"Fair point…"

"Hey. Those hot headed Germans were just as much to blame as we were."

Vilkas snorted loudly at Mal. He was in a poorer mood than usual and surprisingly enough, Mal was no exception to this either. Funny, but it wasn't hard to miss because the usually exuberant young man wasn't one to point fingers or place blame for really anything. Tonight he seemed exceptionally bitter and his friend's rude remark merited a rude gesture in return that was very out of character for him.

"Put that finger down before I break it off, Pepe le Pew," he spat from across the table.

"Don't get that wine glass stuck on that obscenely large nose of yours, _mon ami_," Mal replied tersely.

"Oi, settle down you two. You're mad at Luise and Gilbert, not each other so let's not get ourselves into trouble _again_ tonight."

I wanted very much to agree with Caligo, but Marceline stopped me short, opting to let her coworkers rip themselves apart like animals if they wanted. I still couldn't understand why she didn't like being involved with people in general, but with coworkers… It just made it awkward, I now realized.

"Cal is right… But I mean, we did ask them rather last minute, so…" Mavi shifted uneasily in her seat when the others turned their attention to her. It seemed that as far as things went, she wasn't allowed to complain since the most she had was little Feliciano and he had been more than happy to come like Ivan. "Th-That isn't to say that we can't still enjoy ourselves, right? It's not the first time that…we've been…ditched…" She trailed off quickly, growing more and more nervous when the tension in the air only seemed to increase.

"I can't believe you would go there Mavi…"

"Yen, please… You know I didn't mean anything by it…!"

"I-I propose a toast then…!" Mathieu, my brave boy, raised his glass with shaking hands and the best smile he could manage when so many people were ready to bite someone's head off for so much as breathing in their direction. "To the people who are here now..." His voice and expression became more genuine as they rest of the group started to relax a little more. "You are…You are like my family. The people who are closest to me… The ones who make me feel like… Like I'm someone… I'm thankful for…all of you… For everything that I am and that you've given me in the time I've known you. So… Thank you for being here with me tonight~"

The table was completely silent for what felt like ages… Mathieu was starting to become nervous again but he stayed strong until Marceline broke the silence.

"Sorry, but, who're you?"

It was like someone had popped a balloon with a pin, the moment the entire table suddenly erupted in laughter. Her confusion was genuine and perhaps so was her taking offense when they congratulated her on a good joke, but all I could do for now was offer her a gentle pat of her hand and a silent reassurance that she hadn't made a fool of herself in their eyes. They were laughing with her, not at her, even if she didn't know what it was about.

Mal raised his glass with a wide grin and clinked it against everyone else who had joined him. "I'll drink to that, Mattie my boy~"

"We love you too mi amigo~"

"Si!"

"You're the best, you know that~?"

"Alright then. Screw the others for not wanting to come out!" Caligo declared, still holding her martini up. "Let's get completely smashed and have a good time so we have inside jokes all the way until next year!"

"Next year is practically next month!"

"Oh my god, that's the point Mal!"


End file.
